I just came back from an EMDR session with my therapist, and I'm feeling----interesting.
It was huge, important, space defining in a way I can't quite figure out just yet. I know I said I was stuck in a hole before, but I'm not sure I am any more. I don't know. It's all still processing.
I'm smiling, relaxed, lighter, happier. I've had so many stuck sessions, and this wasn't.
Did you know that I'm not responsible for every bad thing on earth that happens?
Did you know that all bad things are not my fault?
Twenty years of therapy and I could say these things endlessly, logically, like a parrot with a cracker, but until today, it was defensively, like I needed the world to confirm it was true, to prop up my self-esteem.
I feel like I might believe it in my heart today. Not just think it in my brain.
Maybe, I just might love myself today? Yeah....