Tuesday, December 09, 2008

ok, crisis averted temporarily

P. my brother in law, has been admitted to a hospital in Europe and at least for now, all the sharp instruments have been removed from his reach, and all the antifreeze locked up, padded cell and all.

No, I'm not kidding.

You might remember last February when he was admitted after a suicide attempt, and we brought him back to Canada, and got him into a hospital here? He was physically, and mentally ill, and addicted to drugs and alcohol. Anyway, after he recovered and got sober he felt much better. So much better that he got pissed off at us for assuming he was ever ill to begin with. Denial I think they call it.

So he ran back to Europe without telling us and promptly forgot to take his meds, started randomly self-medicating and drinking again and burned through all the money he had saved up to live on.

Then instead of negotiating properly and legally with his wife, he started acting like an ass, and she did everything she could to bait him and egg him on to destruction, and well, it deteriorated from there. Before you say it, he was terrible to her the last two years, no question.

But she is probably the single worst life partner he could have picked. Simpering, spoiled, selfish, naive don't even begin to cover it. He treated her like a princess for their whole marriage, supporting her, showering her with love and care and gifts, and it would've worked fine if he had stayed healthy and rich. But he became ill and needed a heart bypass. When he could no longer pay for designer clothes, etc...and it turned they might have to live like middle class peons, and horrors she might have to get a job, she turned on him. He became depressed, she started complaining to her mother, who harangued him, he started drinking and got sicker and sicker, she still refused to work, even though bills were piling up and his industry was in the tank.

Finally she left him, taking the kids far enough away that he couldn't see them regularly, which she knew would kill him. She also took all the money and the assets and left him homeless, in poverty, and disabled and unable to work.

Not so shocking he wanted to die, eh?

Anyway, he is safe for the moment, but we have no idea what will happen next. Personally, I hope that country's government sends little miss rich bitch a bill for his treatment and makes her pay some support until he can recover. She might have to sell the mansion she is living in. Again she doesn't have to talk to him, or see him, but I do think that her continued policy of hoping he simply disappears will not work. He is the father of those children, and someday they will find out how she treated their Dad at the worst moment of his life. Is this how she wants it to look?

In light of the fact that feedburner is screwed up, this post may not get seen by very many of you, but if you're out there, thanks for reading my rants. I need to get this out.

Off to make a gingerbread house. Between that and politics and my crazy extended family, I have things to do peeps.



  1. I'm reading.

    Glad to hear he's safe right now. I'm sure it helps take some stress of you guys.

  2. So sorry. Glad he is safe now. I know from experiences all to close to home that mental illness is SO HARD to deal with.

    Thinking of you. Please know you aren't alone.

    Hopefully she wakes up soon, or in the end she will be the one to loose it all...

  3. i'm glad that P is back in the hospital. as for your SIL i'm certain that karma is going to bite her, hard, in the butt someday soon.

    smooches back to you!

  4. a friend of mine met a man in similar condition, homeless and abandonded by his wife when he could no longer support her lifestyle. she buys him coffee every time she sees him, because he is a polite guy. Others in the starbucks actually criticized her for buying the coffee. they said they "didn't support the homeless".
    i guess people dont realize how fast one can truly lose it all.
    my sincere best wishes to you and your family. i kno all about crazy extended family!

  5. Ugh, I wish people would remember that the way they treat each other and act will be burned into their children forever.

    Never boring, eh?

  6. I'm glad to hear he's safe. Under the circumstances, I suppose "I told you so" might be a little tactless, but... you were right. It's a pity your BIL is too unbalanced to recognize he has a problem. I hope the hospital can help him some... and that it takes.

  7. Hug to you. Sorry you have this on your plate.

    Happy gingerbreading (sounds fun!)

  8. Holy. Someone 'splain to me how these people wind up in OUR families and don't just stay in the really scary books?

    Wishing him well.

  9. Thank goodness he is back in the hospital, where hopefully, he can get better again.

  10. Good lord, hun, that is awful!! Sorry you are going through this. This is teh suck, as they say...

    I'm glad he is (relatively) safe for now in hospital. And you're right about his ex, she deserves all that and more. What a bitch.

    Thinking of you,

  11. I found you through L&F at Stirrups. I'm thinking of you. (((HUGS)))


  12. It's shocking, isn't it, how mental illness can have an effect on the entire family...even if you're thousands of miles away? I hope you all are able to navigate your way through this (again) to some relatively decent resolution...for your BIL...and for the rest of your family. I feel so sorry for those kids...

  13. 'Denial I think they call it.' -
    Classic Aurelia and tis the season to avoid ones family while making gingerbread.

  14. What rotten affair. :-(
    I hope your brother-in-law is treated all right in the hospital, and hopefully the bill will be sent to the right address.

  15. OMG how awful. I wish we could set her up with my ex. They're just meant to be together.