Nervous (racing thoughts, unfocused, tired)
Bitchy (cause I feel horrible)
Sweaty (leaving my with acne, and BO)
Starving (like I could chew my own arm off AFTER eating a large bag of candy)
Racing (pulse from fast heartbeat)
Pounding (head from high BP)
Waking (from insomnia)
Meet the evil dwarves who have taken over my life for the last year or so.
Today I finally saw an endocrinologist who may be able to help me with my overactive thyroid. Or not. Since my thyroid tests finally came back abnormal after multiple normal tests, I finally may get some help, but only if the stupid doctor can accept that emedicine may be smarter than she is.
And that's asking a lot in Canada.
One of the bizarre things about our doctor shortage, (caused by thievery from many other nations), is that every doctor in Canada is busy, and they all think that signals competence.
Of course, this is crap. In a world of many docs, the best would be busy, the others, not so much. It's called supply and demand, y'know. Basic economics...but unfortunately not a subject anyone studies in any medical school, either at the Ministry of Health or at HMOs in the US.
And it never takes into account egos! So my Doc today was very obstinate, and had never heard of any problem with taking various drugs and TSH assay tests, and the interference that can result. Okay, she had vaguely heard about people who take dopamine in the ICU having strange thyroid test results, but nothing else.
Which means she has never read any articles from any of the journals I have ever read. Or done a PubMed search, or been to a recent conference.
I can only pray that today's blood test will show her something she'll believe, and that on Wednesday my radiocative scan will show her something she'll have to treat. Apparently, I should just wait and see, because I guess the whole "risk of death" doesn't matter. Burning out my organs is irrelevant I guess. Or maybe, I'm just faking it all, right---because I have the psychic power to change lab results---
And also make my boobs grow 2 cup sizes...and also raise my own blood pressure...and run low grade fevers in my docs office while my estrogen & white count is normal...and make me dehydrated...and make all my different meds completely work opposite to everything they are supposed to.
For every other illness I've ever had, I've had to self-diagnose, and I'm always right eventually, like 10 specialists later. When I walk in with 10 journal articles under my arm, why can't they just accept that I might be right? My family doc wants me to go to med school, but first I need to get better, which may take a long time, at this rate.
I am no Snow Freakin' White, and the goddamn dwarves better leave my body or else. There is a limit after all people....