Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Almost over

We finally got P. here, and after much travelling and toting, etc, he is almost settled in a hospital. Tomorrow morning he'll be admitted, right now he's in a hotel being watched all night. And in a few minutes, my husband will be home, thank God. P. is being admitted voluntarily for now, btw, and I do believe that this is a mistake. I think he is bullshitting everyone that he is willing to change and get help. I think he is once again, working the system. But at this point, I simply no longer give a damn. I can't. Someone else has to help out and care, because we're at the end of our ropes.

My kids are falling apart, and I've lost my mind days ago. Their behaviour has deteriorated so completely, I have reached the conclusion that Mr.Cotta and I could never separate, never get divorced and never separate our kids from either parent. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to do any of those things at all, just sayin....

Holy mackeral, this experience has shown me that my kids at least, are serious creatures of habit, who need their routine and need to see, that just like every other day of their life, their Dad and Mom are right there every morning and every night. Now, if my kids were used to me doing shift work, or to Dad doing regular travel that was predictable, maybe. But they aren't used to this, any of this.

From now, I swear you will not see me say that kids can adapt to anything, that kids are resilient, that kids can adjust. Maybe they can after a long long time, with a lot of counselling and prep and support and help, but I'm going to have trouble believing it.

A lot.


  1. My friends parents had a rule that whoever left had to take the kids. We have instituted the same rule in our marriage.

    You must know your kids would be much better behaved if you were not pregnant and knackered. Thank god P is moving towards some semblance of less of your hubby's responsibility.

  2. Thank goodness things are getting back to being a little more normal.

    I think the kids would adapt eventually, but the idea that they just wouldn't blink and would move straight into the new situation without a ruffle is ridiculous. Not that you're thinking of doing anything drastic, so it's an academic point...


  3. Good that P is at least cooperating with the attempt to get him help. The sad thing is that sometimes we can't make people want to do things for their own good, and until they have that desire, no ammount of hospitalization or nagging or begging cam make them change. The hardest thing in the world is to decide to let them make their own self-destructive choice, and not blaming yourself for the consequences. I do hope he follows through with treatment.

  4. It sounds like such an impossibily stressful situation for everyone that I'm not surprised the kids are being difficult. Hope things get back to normal soon.

  5. Good luck getting the boys back on track. They can probably also sense the stress that you and Mr. Cotta are under. Once things return to something resembling normalcy, they will probably go back to their usual behavior as well. At least that has been what I have seen with the children I have been close to. I don't yet have any of my own so I could just be entirely wrong here. :-)

    Oh my, I wish you and your husband luck with your BIL. My ex was bipolar and refused to take/stay on meds, so I understand the frustration and sadness that you are experiencing. I hope that your BIL makes the decision to be well....

    Congratulations on making it to viability!


  6. routine is so important -- i find myself telling the parents of my students that over and over again. i also know that they freak out if i change something that they're accustomed to. i can only imagine what it's been like for you with mr. cotta gone.

    i wish your family many positive and good wishes.

    on an unrelated note: i tagged you. if you feel like procrastinating....

  7. Catching up...Hope the kids are calming down now that Mr. Cotta is back. I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do about someone else helping out. It's hard enough running our own lives--taking on responsibility for another one is huge.

    Sorry about the Holter monitor experience. What a bitch! No bra? Give me a break. And the belt thing? Give me a break! I hope the results turn out okay, especially after all that. The story about the women's center having to be redone is amazing. What dolts!

    Hang in there!

  8. You must be so relieved to have your husband back. I hope things start to calm down for you a bit - it seems like it's been a tough time for you all.

  9. I hope things are settle with P by now and he is really taking the recovery seriously and isn't just bullshitting everyone.
    Oh, and that you got a break and some time all to yourself once Mr.Cotta arrived.