We finally got P. here, and after much travelling and toting, etc, he is almost settled in a hospital. Tomorrow morning he'll be admitted, right now he's in a hotel being watched all night. And in a few minutes, my husband will be home, thank God. P. is being admitted voluntarily for now, btw, and I do believe that this is a mistake. I think he is bullshitting everyone that he is willing to change and get help. I think he is once again, working the system. But at this point, I simply no longer give a damn. I can't. Someone else has to help out and care, because we're at the end of our ropes.
My kids are falling apart, and I've lost my mind days ago. Their behaviour has deteriorated so completely, I have reached the conclusion that Mr.Cotta and I could never separate, never get divorced and never separate our kids from either parent. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to do any of those things at all, just sayin....
Holy mackeral, this experience has shown me that my kids at least, are serious creatures of habit, who need their routine and need to see, that just like every other day of their life, their Dad and Mom are right there every morning and every night. Now, if my kids were used to me doing shift work, or to Dad doing regular travel that was predictable, maybe. But they aren't used to this, any of this.
From now, I swear you will not see me say that kids can adapt to anything, that kids are resilient, that kids can adjust. Maybe they can after a long long time, with a lot of counselling and prep and support and help, but I'm going to have trouble believing it.