Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Babymoon

I've forgotten many lovely words related to babies, and Lala just reminded me of that one.

So if I visit your blogs less or write less often, it's because I'm on a babymoon. I'm not leaving the blogosphere by any means nor am I going anywhere really. But I am SO in love with this baby I want to swoon every day. And the Boys are totally in love with him too....although Mac seems to treat him like a doll, not a baby. If he pokes him one more time....I swear I'll lose it!

In case those of you in the trenches are wondering, I feel a need to say it out loud, every single heparin shot was worth it.

Every progesterone suppository was worth it.

Every painful moment of heartburn, nausea and vomiting was worth it. All of it. Even when I almost choked.

Every dildocam, every moment of indignity, every blood draw was worth it.

And no I should not have had to go through that to get a live baby. None of us should---but fate doesn't work that way and life sucks so here I am.

I will admit that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around his birth and the emergency c-section. Yesterday was his due date and I had a weird time thinking about what should have been and what if and why...etc etc. I can't help it, whole thing is crazy-making when you have giant blanks and you the patient missed everything.

Like the other day I turned to my husband and asked him when he thought we should arrange the baptism. And he told me that he had already done it in the NICU. Now he baptized all of our other children, even the dead ones, but he had always done it in front of me. And then we had a formal ceremony in a church later and a party with friends and family.

But without me? I know he was under stress and terrified that Julius wouldn't make it, but I wish so much that I had been there instead of being spread eagled in an OR getting sewn up. And days later he had forgotten to tell me until I asked! Now I'm wondering what else I missed....

Plus the skin over my incision is totally numb, so numb that I'm worried a bunch of nerves were severed. And there is a ridge of tissue underneath that is hard as a rock and I'm worried it will be like that forever.

Anyone who has had a previous c-section want to weigh in? I know it's early for me yet, but how long does it take to get that feeling on your skin back? Did it screw up your sex lives? (Feel free to be anon for that part) I'm afraid to google any of this so that tells you how nervous I am.

Help!

21 comments:

  1. Glad you are enjoying your babymoon.

    I almost hate to type this, but my c-section scar was numb a LONG time - nearly a full year. And the ridge gradually diminished over time - it's totally gone now 2.5 years later, and to be honest I can't tell you when it really started to go. I think it too k a while, and I know it disappeared in parts - first the middle, then the right, and the left was the last to go. The good news is I would say no real impact on sex, other than sensitivity right no the scar. But that's not entirely a critical area, if you know what I mean.

    I've heard of other people using scar cream and it working. I think it's very individual, though. Just wanted to warn you it can last a while, but it's not that big a deal.

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  2. Great word :-) I'm so glad you're all doing well!

    No info about c-sections over here. I got lucky. My 2nd twin was born in the OR, but they managed to get her out at the last minute (literally) without a c-section.

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  3. My c-section scar and one particular patch on my right thigh was numb for a very long time. I think probably around 2 years. The doctor told me that nerves grow slower than any other tissue in your body, so it does take a while for them to reattach.

    This sounds stupid, but before you know it, you will be used to having it numb and it doesn't feel funny anymore.

    I had major abdominal surgery in 2002 and lost the feeling over most of my stomach. The first while, it felt horrible, but within a month or so, I got used to it. Now, I don't even notice the numbness, but I have noted that the numb patch has become smaller as the nerves reconnect.

    As for my sex life. C-section and scar was never a problem with the Ex (he didn't like to have sex with me anyway). The abdominal surgery I had in 2002 left me with a scar from hip to hip. It was still red and very noticeable when I was first "with" Mark...and it never bothered him.

    Hope that helps. Email me if you'd like more info.

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  4. my scar was numb for a long time, but after awhile i forgot about it. and it had no impact on our sex life.

    "babymoon" is a nice word - and i'm glad you're enjoying yours.

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  5. I don't know shit about c-sections and cannot offer any helpful advice but I do want to thank you for reminding us all that all the brutal hell we go through to get there is all worth it.

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  6. enjoy your babymoon. i can't wait until i can share all of your sentiments!

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  7. Enjoy the babymoon. On the baptism thing, you can still request the ceremony being performed in the church with the godparents present. Our daughter was baptised when she was 7 days old before she had to go into surgery. When she was 5 months old, we had just the ceremony part performed with the godparents present. It was still very special and nice to invite the family to a party to celebrate the baptism. Enjoy!

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  8. While I haven't had a c-section with a baby, I have had a laparotomy with an incision larger than most c-sections. The incision site was numb for a long time. I am sitting here poking it now with my finger nails, and the actual incision site doesn't have much feeling in it at all, and it has been 8 years. The feeling came back in most other parts after many months. I just felt my appendectomy scar and I had that removed when I was 14 - so 19 years ago, and that part is still numb, too. So, I guess to answer your question, the numbness may never go away, but I don't notice it at all anymore. It is just the actual scar that I can't feel, not the surrounding area. But it becomes normal, and it isn't an issue.

    Enjoy your babymoon!

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  9. I was numb up to my belly button for several months. I asked the dr. about it and she said they peel back the skin like an orange so can disrupt the nerves. What a lovely mental image.

    When the feeling started to come back, light touches hurt for a while (but not pressure - go figure). It was an electrical stinging sensation that's hard to describe. Almost like when you touch the skin on your leg when it's starting to "wake up" after falling asleep. I didn't get full sensation back next to the scar until 2 years later. Even now, the scar itself (still a raised line at 2.5 years) is still a little numb.

    The ridge is normal - you have a couple of layers of stitches under the skin. The stitches will dissolve but you may "spit" a stitch or two 6-8 weeks after the surgery. If this happens it will look like a pimple near your incision.

    As for sex...um...the dryness from lack of hormones until AF returned was more uncomfortable than the incision.

    So many fun things they forget to tell you!

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  10. "every single heparin shot was worth it"...thanks for saying this. I hate the shots even though people told me I'd get used to them.

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  11. Sounds like you're recovering well. Haemoglobin and all. Keep at it!

    Bea

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  12. Numbness lasted about six months, but was almost gone on the left relatively soon - by my six week check up I think. The right took longer, apparently this is because they start on the left so that bit of the incision is neater and more controlled. Dunno. But it's all back now. And I agree with the electrical sensation point - what was particularly odd was when I could touch the skin and feel it deep inside but not at the skin's surface.

    Scar is still raised and occasionally quite itchy, but then I have not been good at rubbing cream onto it. MIght be worth getting some vitamin E capsules?

    I love how in love with julius you sound. Oh yes, utterly worth it.

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  13. A long way from a C-section scar, but some severed nerves never regenerate; I still have a zone of numbness across the top of my L shoulder from thyroidectomy almost 19 yrs ago!
    [like everything else says, you DO get used to it - but sex-life-wise, I don't like to have that area touched]

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  14. My doc specifically asked about the numbness around the scar at one of my postpartum checks and made a point of telling me that it takes a while for the feeling to gradually return. And that hardness you feel -- also very normal and will soften with time.

    You sound very serene about your time with Julius. It's great to hear you so content!

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  15. honestly I was so smitten with baby Julius I cannot see how you don't just sit there smothering him with kisses ALL DAY LONG accomplishing nothing else.
    The hard work just seems to make him all the more special.
    I'm glad others are weighing in on the csection issue. My friend I mentioned was also worried about the numbness for a while but she has not had any complaints long term.
    I am at a loss for words about the baptism. I know that feeling of everyone else knowing what is going on. It is very unnerving for a control freak like me. I went to arrange for Julia's baptism and am very embarassed that she is one which did not phase anyone else at all. Wish I had known we could DIY.

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  16. Yes, BABYMOON!!!! It feels so darn good. I had no idea I was capable of this level of happiness and glad that you are right there with me on that one. No doubt about it, every step was worth it. Well said my friend. I am glad that others rung in on the c-section issue. As you will soon read, I don't know anything about c-section scars but I could go on and on about stitches in my cooter and hemorrhoids.

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  17. Babymoon?! What a lovely term. :-)
    You sure deserve one.

    My scar healed nicely, the numbness subsided after a month or two.

    I was too tired for sex, so I can't tell you about the ridge.

    9 weeks after the birth, I was invited to post-natal exercise classes. After each class, the physio-therapist would massage everyone's belly. This is especially important for c-section scars. The layers tend to stick together as they heal, they need to come apart again. A vigorous massage helps that, even though it can be a little uncomfortable. The massage is done across the stomach. While one hand goes up, the other goes down.

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  18. I just want to say that it is lovely getting to read about your crazy love for this new little one. I am so thrilled that you got the happy ending that I wish for every woman longing for a baby. Pumpkin is 3 years old and I would say that I am still on babymoon over her. I think I will be until she leaves for college! :)

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  19. Hi, can you let me know where you went for your babymoon please? I want to add it to the Babymoon Directory.

    http://www.babymoon.com.au

    Thanks in advance and good luck with your pregnancy!!

    Nellie

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  20. Hmm, methinks somebody didn't read your actual post. ; ) So glad you are enjoying Julius so much!!

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