Friday, March 02, 2007

The email I want to send my Dr.

Dear J,

I may see you before my follow up appointment, because I’m in agony over my legs still. My x-rays at the ER were clear, but the burning pain radiating out from my knees is getting worse. I think I need a bone scan or a CT to check for hairline fractures. Or maybe I have soft tissue damage in which case something is definitely wrong because this should be getting better, and it really is worse every day. Yes, maybe I’ll come in to see you so you can poke at them too.

But about that nagging thyroid issue….

I saw the new endocrinologist today, and as I told your receptionist, it was a complete waste of my time. And tonight I’ve been angry, in tears, in despair, frustrated, and finally bitter.

She’ll send a report to you, but the quick and dirty sum-up is that she thinks that the RAIU results and scan are irrelevant, since my TSH is normal. She refused to order another RAIU or scan and refused to consider the possibility that amphetamines or dopamine could influence the test result. She then proceeded to parrot precisely everything Dr. Evil wrote in her report to you. This BTW is why I don’t believe that doctors should ever know about the existence of a prior diagnosis when the patient is attempting a second opinion.

So, you know what her theory is? That I have PCOS and/or insulin resistance.


Even though I have no cysts, my Day 3 LH has never been higher than my FSH, I have always had normal insulin, blood sugar, testosterone, DHEA, and androgens. And my RE, Dr. Expert has always said that PCOS and POF cannot coexist in me. A physiological impossibility based on my labs and ultrasounds.

After I pointed out my test results to her, she started to climb back down a bit to say that I have some sort of transient hypoglycemia or insulin resistance, caused by the fact that I am eating all wrong. She thinks I eat the right type of food, just not often enough. This is based on the 2 minute description of what I ate YESTERDAY. She thinks I only eat every 6-7 hours, and eat nothing but refined carbs. Except that is NOT what I said. For example, I said that I love eating chocolate. I rarely eat it, but I love it. That doesn’t make me a pre-diabetic, it makes me human. I have had acne and hairy legs, but those are classic symptoms of estrogen/progesterone swings. I said that I do eat snacks, but she ignored it, and focused on the mention that I might’ve had a coffee as a treat as an example of my “bad eating".

I’m ignoring all the condescending brochures & magazine clippings she gave me like this one: “The Diet that could make you a mom!” --- (wow I’m so happy she gave that one to me, since that world famous fertility doctor I go to will be shocked! to hear that this all new! diet! is the cure! for all my dead babies!)

Yes, you can just imagine my reaction to someone telling me that my children would be alive if I hadn’t scarfed down that loaf of Wonder Bread.

Thank God I actually know the cause of my miscarriages. I can only imagine the psychological trauma this dimwit would inflict on some of the grieving mothers I know. I’m also ignoring the *super exclusive* lab requisitions she graciously allowed me to have. You’ve run my blood sugar and creatinine before. Not exactly a shit hot diagnostician is she?

So, in all seriousness, we have to talk about a better plan. Specifically, I need to get the appropriate tests & treatments done for the actual illnesses I DO have. And can I see a Dr. who will diagnose me based on lab results, and not my diet choices for one day, or on the spare magazines clipping lying around her office? I have a couple of requests and some ideas. We can talk about them at my follow up appointment. I don’t think I can bear to talk about this in person right now.



(Pssst: And to you, my lovely blog readers, now I have to go eat some fruity puffs soaked in a bowl of vodka with sugar & insulin on top. I'm trying to zero out my fertility so that if one of those dastardly little spermies ever finds an egg, I can write off the next pregnancy ahead of time without even bothering to POAS. Great plan, huh? *eyeroll*)


  1. I hope you hit "send" after you typed this. The new "doctor" (have to put it in quotes, because I think she only plays one on TV) needs to find another line of work. The fact that you could rebut her diagnosis with ACTUAL TEST RESULTS THAT CONTRADICTED IT...well, she should have just surrendered her physician's license right then and there. I'll repeat what I've said elsewhere before: they are making it up as they go along.

  2. What a useless excuse for a doctor, bloody hell, you couldnt have come across a worse one!

    Been really busy, just got back from London and LaLa's on half term holiday and wont let me near my machine, I'll catch up soon, (please keep me on your blogroll, you wernt going to get rid of me were you? :).


  3. Aurelia - I am sorry that you had another bad experience with an MD. Sometimes, they truly stink. I hate know it alls, because they don't.

    Could you tell me what POF stands for? Thanks!

  4. Aurelia, what an asshole! The part that just puts me over the top are the magazine clippings. Jesus! Can you find a different doctor and just scrap the follow-up with this joke? Do you have a copy of your medical records? If so, why not try to find a doctor on your own (maybe write a letter with the pertinent information but not the other doctor's diagnosis) and see someone who doesn't have any connection with Dr. Evil?

    That is infuriating. What the fuck is wrong with our health "care" system? I'm seething with you.

  5. what a totally awful experience. explain to me why that was necessary, exactly? And you with all the falling over and shit to deal with? What a week...

  6. I think one clear problem you have is you are way smarter than your DRs. It's an excellent letter, and you should send it as is.

  7. Oiy. I cannot believe she treated you that way. That is disgusting. Seriously, it shows amazing strength that you aren't taking those comments to heart - I know I might even though logically I'd know they were crap. I don't have much else to say, I just wanted to respect your profile request that we not lurk quietly. And to tell you that in the short time I've been in blog land, I've found your blog cathartic.

    Was that Starbucks cup for real? ***holes. Take care.

  8. Oh yes, I think you should send this, too.

    There are a few medical professionals who have pissed me off lately, can I have you write letters to them, please?

  9. Send that letter my friend. And like my reality, I think I have a few doctors that I would like you to send letter to as well. Sheesh.

  10. I can't believe that your leg is getting worse. I hope they can find something that is causing the pain.

    As for that Doctor I think I would have had to tell her off is she would had sad that to me. What goes thought some doctors heads.

  11. Are you serious? All the carbs are the whole reason I can't get pregnant? To hell with the RE! Off to the diet clinic!!!!

    I'm sorry you even had to meet such an idiotic "specialist". Makes me think that some of us infertiles should go to medical school. Surely we could do a better job?

  12. I really think you ought to send this. As is.

  13. Can you get the tests that you need, make a shorter summary, with great trigger words in the subject line and email it to the best specialist in NA?

    Just sayin' that sometimes you can get an answer back in two hours. I swear that I know someone who did that..................