Sunday, April 15, 2007


I haven't back about the job stuff yet, or anything from my Dr. so just toodling along here.

I have a post saved in my drafts about adoption and some of the stuff that has happened last week. But I don't want to press publish because I'm afraid of getting my ass kicked by trolls. Yeah, not so brave sometimes, meh....

Maybe because tomorrow I'm going to meet a photographer and deal with photos and then meet with my therapist. Ackkk, nervous.

Tomorrow morning, I'm also going to meet with a woman from blogland. I first met her last week, after she emailed me. She is another infertile adoptee, no blog, but plenty of history. No live babies yet, I'm hoping that someday soon she'll have success. It was really really nice to get to know her, and I hope we can chat more tomorrow.

I felt nervous meeting her because waaayyy back when I started blogging there were some very strange people who were harassing me. It can be creepy going online for a woman. We can't be too careful about who we talk to, who we reveal things to, yet we want to find others who can support us, people who will share their experiences and let us know that we aren't the only ones in world of seemingly normal "others". Well, she turned out to be normal, just like me! So, I've decided to be braver about meeting some of you IRL.

Before that, there were only a few people on earth who knew about my blog and had ever met me IRL. One guy guessed about it, and has been very kind and supportive. He's very political, but he and his wife also went through infertility and adoption issues. I never would've known before and now we are close friends. I met him for coffee this week as well, and it was so great, I feel a need to replicate the experience!

So, some of us IF/pregnancy/mommy bloggers in the Toronto area have been tentatively reaching out and trying to organize a get together IRL. And if any of you from farther away would like to join us, feel free, but I know the drive can be a drag, and we're going to keep on trying to organize other dates if you can't make it. Reality, Decemberbaby, and I have emailed about this, but we couldn't decide on a place, plus we were all a bit indisposed this week. My place is out, partially because of hubby, but also because I think seeing my kids, and the toys and the gigantic swingset out back might not be such a great experience for some of my IF blog friends, and I don't want to torture anyone.

So I'm thinking that a restaurant, maybe in the Yorkville/Downtown area, would be a good place? Evening? or a weekend afternoon? I'm around during the day, but I know some of you work---hope to be doing the same soon! Email me at aurelia dot cotta at gmail dot com if you want to come, or suggest any ideas. Be prepared to show me your blog, or give me your real name and workplace or something real to get the location and time. I'm going to ask Reality and Decemberbaby and anyone else localish to spread the word. (Yes, this means I'm sort of tagging you!)

If this works, well, we could go from there, okay?

P.S. Yes, I know there is a GTA bloggers group that meets once a month, but they blog about everything under the sun, not just IF, or miscarriage or adoption, and I need to take baby steps, okay?

ETA: If you ever were unsure about what I mean about the controversy over adoption posting, check out PostSecret this week. An adoptee wrote in, and of course, an ultradefensive adoptive parent just couldn't wait to tell them how wrong their feelings must be! Every other person who writes in about their secret on PostSecret gets supportive and kind comments, but an adoptee? Oh no, can't allow us stupid infantile twits to speak for ourselves about our own fucking feelings without being slapped down...and people wonder why we get pissed off....


  1. This week is crazy for me. Would next Sunday work for anyone?

    Decemberbaby and I met at a local restaurant in the Yorkville area for brunch, maybe we could go there.

  2. Wow. IRL?? You guys are brave.......

  3. I was just about to email you to ask about the job...have they given you any idea when you'll hear?

  4. I want to see you guys, but I'm leaving for Israel on Thursday. I'll be back at the beginning of May. How does everyone feel about brunch on May 5 or 6? Yorkville area works for me.

  5. I'm up for it if I can get there by subway.

  6. Wish I lived a bit closer... Melbourne's a bit too far away on the subway... Have fun x

  7. Hmmm. Josh and I always say we should drive up to Toronto for a weekend. Not right now, but maybe sometime.

    I can't wait to read your post about adoption when/if you ever post it.

  8. I'm going to check your link about adoption, but even before I do, I've got to say that it's truly bizarre as well as wrong to tell someone she doesn't feel what she feels.

    Do adoption trolls just go from blog to blog searching out posts about adoption?

  9. Of course I'll read that post, you can rely on me :)

    Unfortunately, I'm too far away for a blogger union :(

    It's going to be weird meeting up with everyone isn't it, you can finally see what each person is really like.

    Personally, I'd love to meet you! You sound a right character, I often wonder if you're the same in real life, ha ha ha :)

    Ignore me, just being silly!!!

  10. I am so jelous. There are a few women (you being one of them) that I would love to meet IRL. But I am just to far away. If you ever come to Florida though you have a invite to my house for dinner.

  11. I hate that you don't feel up to posting your own feelings and perspectives, though I can certainly understand your reticence. I would not handle well at all being trashed by commentators on my blog, regardless of whether they are complete strangers. It still feels awful.

    Well, count me as another person who will loudly defend your right to feel whatever it is you are feeling, and to talk about those feelings!

  12. "Oh no, can't allow us stupid infantile twits to speak for ourselves about our own fucking feelings without being slapped down...and people wonder why we get pissed off...."

    Possum -> standing, clapping, cheering!!!
    This is the best thing I've seen written all day.
    Thank you!!
    Poss. xxx
    (Aussie adoptee)

  13. I wish I could come, I'm just too many thousands of kilometres away....

  14. I can't wait to meet blogger friends IRL. How cool for you!

    I really shouldn't but I'm going to go check out PostSecret now. It seems a bit early in the day for getting all riled up but I'll do it anyway. ;o)

  15. The PostSecret thing..........sigh.