I just came back from an EMDR session with my therapist, and I'm feeling----interesting.
It was huge, important, space defining in a way I can't quite figure out just yet. I know I said I was stuck in a hole before, but I'm not sure I am any more. I don't know. It's all still processing.
I'm smiling, relaxed, lighter, happier. I've had so many stuck sessions, and this wasn't.
Did you know that I'm not responsible for every bad thing on earth that happens?
Did you know that all bad things are not my fault?
Twenty years of therapy and I could say these things endlessly, logically, like a parrot with a cracker, but until today, it was defensively, like I needed the world to confirm it was true, to prop up my self-esteem.
I feel like I might believe it in my heart today. Not just think it in my brain.
Maybe, I just might love myself today? Yeah....
That's awesome, AC. Feeling glad for you right now.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I knew, because they're all my fault, silly. I'm kidding.
ReplyDeleteAre you and Nicole EMDR reps, because today you're both really selling me on it.
In all seriousness, I'm so glad you had a good session and that you might love yourself today.
Well, that sounds like a good day.
ReplyDeleteHoles are overrated, anyway. But I do love that West Wing quote. :)
I have never heard of this EMDR, but I'd like to give it a try. I'm glad you're out of the hole...it's really a terrible place to be, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a major turning point! Glad it was a good day.
ReplyDeleteYou and Nicole both! It sounds so interesting, maybe I should give it a go. I'm glad you love yourself today x
ReplyDeleteI DID know those things aren't your fault! I'm glad you do too now!
ReplyDeleteHope this feeling goes on and on and on...
Hope it lasts more than one day :) Glad your feeling lighter. X
ReplyDeleteI knew those things weren't your fault! Glad you know it too...
ReplyDeleteEMDR is great for those who have experienced traumatic events and I am glad you session went well aurelia. Knowing, feeling and believing you aren't responsible for everything in the world is a very healthy response...and certainly does give you a better self-concept to love!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you had a good day!
ReplyDeleteWhat a coincidence! I love you, too.
ReplyDeleteSo pleased that an EMDR session worked for you. Sounds like you were working on a good issue for you. And of course, like Adrienne said, things aren't your fault, they're mine. Laugh dammit!
ReplyDeleteYay! good to hear that!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a fabulous feeling. Hold onto that one!
ReplyDeleteHow nice for you! That sounds great - I hope it holds.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see that you are happy! hope it holds forever
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing. Congratulations--keep it deep in your heart and hold tight to that peace.
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