Wednesday, June 13, 2007


You all know I've been trying to get the government to pay more attention to the issues of infertility and loss and adoption. But what you may not know is the kind of ignorance from the right wing I have to battle up here. In the U.S., adoption is so embraced by the Christian right, they've practically turned it into a mission from God, a rather bizarre proposition, but in keeping with their views on discouraging single mothers, etc. so it's consistently bizarre at least.

Well Stephen Taylor is the head of the Blogging Tories up here in Canada, and while not employed directly by the Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper, he is very very closely associated. (You remember Harper? The guy who screwed over every infertile couple in Canada by stacking the Board of the Assisted Human Reproduction Agency with medically illiterate partisans and religious wingnuts, but not one Doctor or patient?)

I think you all need to check this post on how Harper and his family are "ordinary" and Liberal Leader Stephane Dion and his family are "not ordinary." Taylor tried to backpeddle all over the place with a stupid chart, but has failed miserably, and it keeps going all through the comments.

"Conservatives will have a lot of success portraying Mr. and Mrs. Harper as the ordinary Canadian family. Mr. Harper is an ordinary guy, with ordinary hobbies (hockey) with ordinary kids and some ordinary cats. The party will likely be successful because, by definition, the "typical" person is "ordinary" and can therefore relate."

So not only is Taylor implying that Dion's adopted daughter is out of the ordinary, there are comments he has made replying to others that a family with two children is more normal than a family with one child, which is a slam at Dion & Krieber's courageous admission that they are infertile. They are my heroes for that, since so few public figures EVER come out about infertility. And for them to be slighted?

I've heard crap like this for years from whole life in fact. That somehow, I wasn't ordinary because I was adopted, that I "didn't get my kids the regular way" because I'm infertile, being shunned as the mother of dead children. The code words they use are subtle, but we know what everyone is getting at. Ordinary means not adopted/biological/natural/real, ordinary means fertile, ordinary means mothering living children.

I'm deeply offended as an adoptee.

I'm deeply offended as an infertile woman.

It gets worse; he drones about about demographics, but maybe Taylor needs to check his stats...20% of the Canadian population is infertile, and 20% have made a family through adoption. One in four women will lose a baby in their lifetime.

(There is some overlap in these groups, but not a lot.)

I'm also getting offended by the inference that it's all about strategy. International adoption and mixed race families ARE the 21st Century norm in Canada whether through immigration or marriage or adoption, and frankly Dion was ahead of the curve. And as I recall, Harper was embracing all those families just recently with his new program to speed up international adoption, so WTF is Taylor going on about? Did he miss the strategy meeting on that?

Another one? This comment which criticizes Mr.Dion for having a "speech impediment". Well, dumbass, it's called a speech disability, something Dion doesn't have, he speaks FRENCH. A second language is not a disability. But even IF he had a speech disability...are the disabled not allowed to run for office? Guess not in Stephen Taylor's world, or he would have called the commenter on it, or deleted it.

As a mother of a child with speech & learning disabilities, I'm deeply offended by that.

Anyone who can read polling knows that all the groups I've mentioned add up to a lot more than 50%. They are the new normal, the ordinary people I see at Tim Horton's and at my hockey rink. The two Steve's didn't see us before because we had been shoved in the closet. But it was getting damn crowded in there.

So we're coming out.

Fuckin' deal with it.

H/T to RT, Scott Tribe, Cerberus, and everyone else for blogging about this as well. I owe you guys a beer!


  1. I'm just offended as a person and a woman.

    I often wish I were Canadian for leftist political reasons, now I wish I were Canadian so I could not vote for this guy.

    I do not like him at all.

  2. Err, I guess he's not actually in office so I should have said "so I could not vote for his party."

    I also should have commented on how much he resembles Bill O'Reilly and other jackoff American commentators.

  3. Aurelia - well said. Stephen Taylor and his ilk are sad, pathetic creatures. "Normalcy", like "intelligence", is a term used often, but with little regard to its actual meaning.

    That Taylor feels himself qualified to judge that Harper is more "normal" than Dion, is on many levels a testament to his arrogance and ignorance.

    Besides, should it even matter to Canadians what our politicians do at home? Harper is a lousy PM for lots of reasons, and I can come to that conclusion without knowing a thing about his family life.

  4. Whooee! Good rantin', AureliaGal. Taylor's a numbnuts an' I ain't referin' to infertility by that. Unless we're talkin' about his infertile mind. He's also a dumbass an', by that, I ain't intendin' to offend any donkeys or burros.

    I'm wonderin' if King Steve's Karl Rove (Doug Finley, husband of Diane Finley MP)might have a hand in this here Merkan-style idiotfest.


  5. Well done Aurelia! Taylor's ridiculous rant tells me more about him than the point he's trying to make. I suppose that is because he has no valid point.

    I agree with Red Canuck, I don't need to know about Harper's home life to know that I cannot wait to get rid of the man.

    While I think that "normal" is an idiotic descriptor, it does tell me just how out of touch Taylor (and by association the people he speaks for), are with what Canada is.

  6. People like that never cease to amaze me. And it always especially disappoints me when it happens in a place like Canada, which has, in many ways, been correctly to the left of the spectrum on issues that America is so wrongly conservative on.

    I didn't realize that your religious right was so against adoption. I find the religious right to generally be repulsive in this country but you made me stop and be grateful that at least they believe in adoption. For some what I would call the wrong reasons, but at least they see the value in bringing a child into a family even if mother nature was not responsible!

  7. It was sort of funny to see Taylor backpedal like mad to make it clear that he’s not making any sort of moral judgment, just stating a pseudo-scientific “fact” (as he imagines it). Of course, the “fact” that he abdicates passing any sort of judgment on the premise speaks volumes in itself. Something completely lost on Taylor of course, who is, as we know, deeply stupid.

  8. Wow, I don't even know which part I should be pissed off about first. What idiocy. At least I'm in a position to not vote for this guy.

  9. Thanks to you all for visiting!

    Lady in Waiting,

    It is truly odd that the religious right up here can't stand adoption, and doesn't like fertility treatment, as opposed to the U.S. where evangelicals are at the forefront of pushing big families & funding fertility treatment, and foreign adoption tax credits. Not the Catholics mind you on the IVF, but the rest of the Christian right.

    I guess to Canadian evangelicals we adoptees are still some sort of shameful secret bastards or something, eh? They must've missed the bit about loving their neighbour.

  10. Wow, Aurelia -- thank you for this post.

    As you know, I'm from Calgary -- land of huge conservative support!

    My parents actually live in Stephen Harper's riding!

    I can't recall the name of the conservative MP that we have in our area (only about 5 minutes from my parents' house).

    I don't know where to start.....

    I definitely agree with everything you've said, although I've never been one to particularly support one party.

    I don't really think Canada has very many good political options -- it's always a case of having to choose one of the lesser evils... and hope for the best.

    I can't say I was ever pleased with anything Jean Chretian did while he was in power....

    And for the west, I feel it is important that we are represented more equally -- how the political system operates in Canada leaves the east with much of the "power".

    I don't understand (and didn't even know, sadly) that adoption was so sadly lacking support here.

    I'm really in the dark about that whole issue -- so please enlighten me!

    I *DO* recall what happened with the Board of the Assisted Human Reproduction Agency, though. And it still makes me feel sick to this day.

    It is those types of maneuvers that are hurting Canadians trying to build their families through donor sperm/egg. Let alone the hope for Canadians to ever see some sort of insurance coverage for IF!!! I would BUY insurance to cover the cost of IVF if I could! Ugh, it's so damned frustrating!

    I don't's just all so disappointing...

    Especially when one looks at the HUGE legislative news regarding IF coverage by insurance companies that is currently taking place in the US system!

    Seriously, somedays makes me think we should move to the Seattle area for a few years (my husband's father is American and lives in WA state).

    All the best,

  11. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I'm reciprocating and wondering, given your interests and experiences, if you saw the little miracle story I reported hearing at my brother's memorial service recently.

  12. I did Kenn, thanks for the reminder of the story, although I have to admit, I'm a bit of a heretic & more likely to pray to God to send an effin' Doctor to properly diagnose and treat me...

    'Nilla, don't give up and move! I promise I'm working on it. As for the adoption stuff, I have a post stuck in my drafts on it. After I finish taking apart the next stupid useless Studio 60 episode tommorrow, I may post that next.

  13. interesting post.

    not sure where i stand on these issues sometimes.

    to me adoption is a non partisan issue because it has gone for about 100 years and both liberal and conservatives have been in power. to me, infertility, adoption has a long way to go in educating people and breaking these myths.

    while i think its great to be respectful to all persons in the triad, adoption is built on loss from all sides. i think if we listened to each other more and helped more. things would be a lot different for everyone.

  14. Well, I have to comment, but I must preface by saying I am choosing NOT to read the Taylor blog. I trust your opinion, Aurelia, and I have recently vowed to stay away from these types of inflammatory posts for the benefit of my mental health.

    This isn't the first time that the right wing and their supporters have shown a disgusting preference for all things "normal" - and it is their definition of normal that pisses me off. I live in the Hot Bed - the Wild West. I am sick of it. You probably don't hear half what I hear in a typical election campaign.

    As a person who has part of her family built through adoption; as a person who has experienced the loss of a baby; as a person who was on the fast track to assisted reproduction when fate intervened; as someone who appreciates the ridiculousness of referring to an accent as an "impediment" - I am also insulted. Because it is people like this, people who feel superiority in a way that allows them to pass judgment on all we "abnormal" people, which upset me to no end.


    So I gave in and read the post.

    I agree that he attempted to stick to the "facts" (heavy on the use of sarcasm there) in the body of the post; it is just absurd to call them facts! I am confused by what he was actually intending with the original post itself - what comparison was he attempting to draw? And using a Chatelaine magazine article as concrete proof that the Harpers can be trusted and the Dion-Kriebers can't? I'm not buying, thanks.

    A bell curve to "factually" define "normal"? Give me a break!

    P.S. The environment is pretty darn high on my list and the $100 cheque in the mail every month that I am going to have to pay tax on (my beer and popcorn money!) isn't.

    P.P.S. Did you notice the misspelling of the magazine name?

  15. I think it's terrible that it's ordinary that the ordinary people don't know how to handle the not ordinary.

    One in four people have herpes.
    One in four girls are molested by age 18.
    One in four miscarry.
    One in four end up c-sected.
    One in don't know how sick I am of being one or more one in four category.

    I cried when SH made PM.

    I suppose that loving each other as Christ commanded (John 15:17) is of course extended to your 'neighbours' children as your own if need be. In that case ST is not doing his Christian duty by making such exclaimations about other families...but why assume he is Christian? (there are verses about foolish talk)
    There are verses about taking care of widows and orphans. The Christians have always lead the 'help out the malnourished kids of Africa' causes and the like. Or has that been just the American Christians?
    It's tough for me to know...since I only became a believer since I've come to live in the U.S.

    There was a baby dedication in church last Sunday. I sat right next to the couple with thier new adopted baby of another race.
    I said nothing...asked no questions. I...don't know what to say. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. What I ought to have been able to say was at least 'congratulations'...but I found I could not. All I do know is that this is popping up all over the place. Not that it makes me feel uncomfortable to the point that I'm worried about saying something weird. What I really feel like doing is pointing them in the direction of blogs such as your own.

  16. Ah, yeah... there are an awful lot of extraordinary people in this world. As a politician, I'm surprised he found it necessary to marginalise them. It baffles me because, ok, you may have 2.4 kids and a backyard, but you probably fit into some special category for something. Medical complaint? Unusual job? Second toe longer than your big toe?

    And, of course, if that many people have extraordinary families, chances are the ordinary people know/are closely related to the extraordinary people, and love them dearly, so how does he win by saying this?


  17. It remains beyond my comprehension that Harper is in the PM's position at all. He is not MY definition of "ordinary" that's for sure. Unlink his wishy-washy wife who changes her name based on her husband's dreams, I kept my maiden name after marriage, and no, I'm not from Quebec. Taylor makes the comment that Dion's wife writes the cheques and buys his underwear... show me what woman DOESN'T do those things for her husband! I can relate more to Dion's wife than I can to Harper's, that's for certain. No, I didn't vote for Harper the first time, and you can be d*mn sure I won't be voting for him any time in the near future. Most politicians can be painted with the same brush. Their head resembles their a$$ and the same thing comes out of both ends. /rant off

  18. Heh. Looks like he got a lot of pushback and had to essentially retract his comments. Maybe he'll think twice about voicing them again.

  19. My dear friend Jay is a gay Newfoundlander who is married to a gay Muslim man. I dare anyone to suggest that they are not an ordinary family.

    To stand up for Jay, I also made a post about this. We are all family.