Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A walking ad for birth control

Who would that be? Why my kids and I for the last 48 hours - I swear every woman who passed us in the last 2 days gave us THAT look. You know, the one that says, "Holy shit, I'm NEVER having children if this is what it's like." Babylust was noticeable in its absence.

Yes, today my boys really really made me proud...sigh.

Poking, fighting, arguing, wrestling, farting, hitting, burping, making obscene gestures, wandering into traffic, calling each other names, roaring, biting, feet on chairs, refusing to listen to me, do even one thing they were asked to, and all that was in just one store. I had to take them to get new shoes, so I couldn't leave them behind.

Hell, who am I kidding, I can barely leave them alone with a babysitter. They once locked one in the basement. Luckily she got out. (I've since removed the slidelock and latch on that door.)

There are moments like this when I wonder what the hell I'm doing this all for.

Boys do grow up and become civilized eventually right? Someday?

I know, all of your children are perfect, and cute, and I should be grateful for my living ones. I guess I was just hoping for average, and instead I'm scared I've got feral children.


  1. My almost 5-year old child thinks he's a dinosaur. All. the. time. He growls at people. He chases them. He holds his arms up at odd angles, to make them as small as possible, and hooks two fingers on each hand like claws - the better to look like a T. Rex, my dear.

    Explaining that the creature he's imitating is extinct has no effect. Obsessed is a small word for it.

  2. At least they gave you some excitement for the day.

    I was one of those kids - the loud, screaming, whining, hitting, biting, arguing with my brother etc., and I turned out kind of ok.

    Good luck tomorrow.

  3. My 4-year-old boy thinks groaning and roaring will be a useful method to making friends on the playground. Then he runs around screaming something in this odd, yet eeriely angry, voice. I believe he thinks this will further entice others to join him in play. Who knew?

    How old are you boys? I know Kaz is older. I have to believe that someday they will morph into someone new? Maybe? Please?

  4. I'm sorry, your description of them made me chuckle. I can just imagine them making you proud! Boys will be boys eh?

  5. Oh yes. My son is soooo perfect. That's why my husband and I, after having to carry him out of school screaming and crying, drove down to the police station threatening him that if he pulled that stunt ever again, we would leave him there.

    Yep. He's perfect...a perfect shit.

  6. Sorry, this made me chuckle too :)

  7. My three year old makes ME want to be locked in the basement at times. He said to me today, "I'm going to kick you" and DID! Little snot! Then got all drama'd up when he was put in time out! You would have thought I beat him!

  8. It's nice to know that other parents feel their children are feral too!

    I can relate to everything you've just said. My children and I are also great poster-models for birth control!

  9. Don’t feel too bad’ sometimes my daughter will growl at me. This is how she shows her frustration. Some times I wonder if have a wild animal instead of a child.

  10. Okay, the term "feral children" made me laugh out loud. You crack me up!

  11. They locked the babysitter in the cellar?!? We always wanted to do that, but never had the nerve.

    All children are feral - it's our jobs to, gradually, tame them.

  12. You are cute.
    I heard that the more demanding boys are when they are young the better they will be when they are your case one can only hope eh.

  13. I, once upon a time, was a teenage babysitter who was regularly locked out of the house by a certain little beast. Son of my mother's best friend. Fun times.

    He's all grown now, very nice man, married father of three.