Mr.Cotta and I have been taking care of things around the house today, including going through his boxes of papers that have been lying around the house, crowding up my front hallway. We threw out many piles and reboxed some important ones to keep. All very good progress.
And then the difficult conversation, sigh. You may remember the story about my last stop at the storage locker? When I realized that the crib I had kept for all these years was missing? I had last seen it in my basement and my husband had told me that he wanted to get rid of it or take it to storage and get some more space for our other things. We argued, and I finally told him he was not allowed to get rid of it but he could store it if he had to or whatever, I was so bloody angry at him. Biiiig issue.
A year later when I finally saw the storage space, no crib. It was gone. I was so upset, I wanted to go out and buy another one. Just to spite him. Funny thing is, we believe in attachment parenting, and our babies always slept beside us in bed. They eventually spent a few months in the crib until they climbed out and moved to toddler beds, but really, the crib is the least used piece of baby equipment we owned. It was more the principle of it, that he had thrown it out or got rid of it and not said a word when I had told him he couldn't toss it!
Except, I was wrong. He says that he never took it out and never took it to the storage space, and would NEVER ever throw it out knowing how much it meant to me. He was so sincere, I have to believe he's either telling the truth or he has become a complete amnesiac on this one precise point, which would be bizarre.
So I have spent the day apologizing to him for assuming he would do that, and for not talking to him about it for the last month. I kept telling him that I didn't want to start an argument, which is true, but of course, the big question remains----
Where is the hell is the crib?
I didn't lend it out, it's not in the basement, not in the storage space, and not anywhere else in the house. We searched everywhere today.
It's gone.
Between this little event and my looming 39th birthday, I'm wondering if the universe is trying to send me a message.
(Yes this Sunday, 39. Usually I like my birthday, but this year....I'm thinking I need to make the clock go backwards. Maybe I'll be 32 instead? 28? Ughhh)
Hi Aurelia
ReplyDeleteI had most of my worldly posessions cruelly discarded a few years back. It is hard at first, I still go places & my memory will be jogged at noticing familiar things..."I used to have one of those..." & such responses. It never ceases to amaze me how after all ths time I can still feel shocked by it. Move on I say, life is too short to sweat over lost belongings, I assume the universe must have needed my stuff for a greater purpose? It is the people that love & respect you that matter!
Just claim to have "failed" age 38. Then you can keep repeating it until you feel you've done it "right".
ReplyDeleteNo? OK then, at least we can go to Aroma together for the best hot chocolate in the world.
Weird that it's disappeared. Oh and best wishes for your birthday even if the number isn't exactly the one you'd like.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday... whichever one it is.
ReplyDeleteBea
Happy birthday. Sucks about the crib. My advice is to only read the good signs as messages from the Universe or you will drive yourself nuts.
ReplyDeleteOr, maybe this is the universe's way of telling you that you get to go shopping when you get pregnant again.
And, it may not be ideal, but 39 was the age I was when we did our first IVF. There's still time.
How strange that is has just vanished. What is an age. I to myself will be a year older this coming Monday. The big 35 for me. I have had a few people ask me how I felt about this and I really don't care. Age is just a number to me. So you may be turing 39 but how do you feel.
ReplyDeleteWeird about the crib, just weird.
ReplyDeleteI am amazed at your determination-- still plugging with the decluttering project. I can't handle that more than one room at a time, and then I need a good long break.
Happy birthday. You can claim it's the 7th anniversary of you being 32. And you can keep that up for ages. Really, no one will notice. ;)
What's this up in comments that the late 30's is something to dread? Or feel as if it's do or die?
ReplyDeleteCelebrate, Aurelia! One more year in knickers and then you get to wear big-girl panties!
And that crib thing? That is too weird. It's not like it's a sock that can be hidden any number of places. Maybe your husband "loaned" it to someone and forgot that he did? Remember how I talked about my maternity clothes? I would have thought I was jinxed if I had kept them.
First off, happy happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, we all have those oddities. When we moved into our house, I gave Mr. Badger my keys. Later that day, they were gone. I was sure he never gave them back to me, but he swears up and down that he did. Not the same as a crib, but it was that feeling of, "Well, where the hell did it go??". When things are not the way that you are sure to your core they are, it messes with your head. Sorry you had to go through that...
I'll save the happy birthdays for Sunday.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for apologizing to Mr. C. That is really annoying about the crib, but I don't think the universe sends messages. I have things go missing all the time, but that's 'cause we move a lot.
I am just glad you got this sorted out with Mr. C, so at least you aren't harboring bad feelings toward him anymore. It's nice to get the air cleared!
ReplyDeleteAs for the crib... that's bizarre. But not a message, just a lost item. If things like that were messages then the universe must be telling me to stop driving, quit writing checks, and that sunlight is good for your eyes- because I lose my keys, checkbook and sunglasses on almost a daily basis.
I find that I always lose the things (big or small) that I care about, while those whose loss I wouldn't mourn, stubbornly hang around forever. If there's a moral in that, I refuse to see it.
ReplyDeleteAt least your mind departed around age 39... Mine kinda went starting at 30!
ReplyDeleteIt seems so odd that the crib is just gone... I am not sure if I would take that as a sign, though. I hope that the crib comes back to you - not just because its lost, but because it means so much to you.
Aurelia, that is truly strange about the crib. I would find it really upsetting. I wish I could make the clock go backwards too. I say, just stick with 39 and go no higher!
ReplyDeletehmm, it's tough to make big things disappear like that. Very fishy.
ReplyDeleteWhen I turn 39 will I want to be 32 again? I deffinately didn't like turning 30..31..and soon 32.
At least you don't look 39. Not at all!
ReplyDeleteHow strange...sort of a large object to just...disappear. Happy Birthday! Be whatever age you'd like! Be 59, and people will say you look amazing!
ReplyDeleteOops, aurelia, I meant to post a comment, and instead I sent you an email. Feel free to copy and paste to your comments.
ReplyDelete