I have slowly been getting back into the swing of things. And making lists of what I need to do bit by bit when I feel up to it.
- find my favourite shorts in my closet
- start some form of exercise program
- get laser eye surgery for my serious nearsightedness
- renovate the house
Lists lower my stress level. They anchor my free floating anxiety. Instead of a giant cloud of chaos I can't quite grasp, I see a path somewhere. The only thing is the list can't be too long and the first things on it can't be too hard, or I will feel emotionally blocked, and give up on ever ever getting the rest of the list done.
Past lists have included small things like "clean my purse", "take in drycleaning", and bigger things like "apply to grad school", "learn french" or "change the world", etc.
Or "Have live baby".
That was the first thing on my list for many years and it's---------
I feel much lighter right now.
So what do you think I should do next, oh internets? Like not in the next two minutes, or even two months, but going forward? We're settling into a nice routine, so I think I need to contemplate this. Will I stay at home, go back to work, go to school, advocate, lobby, volunteer?
Putter, dabble, dawdle?
Now what? Hmmmmm