No Matter How Small

I've got lots of stressful things going on, so I may as well list them, best therapy ever I think. (And thank you for the comments on my previous post btw. Thank you thank you thank you.)

Tomorrow we find out what the test results are on the boys, and how we have to deal with them. I'm dreading it because I know I'll just feel guilty in the end. My fault, etc. More on that after tomorrow's appt.

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Good news: Kaz's first preliminary report card came out and it's great, all A's.

Bad news: that's because the new school with the provincial curriculum is so stupidly easy, he doesn't have to make any effort at all. Not exactly good for his character IMO. I wanted it to be easier when he hit university, not now....

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My husband's brother P is in worse and worse shape over in Europe. He seems to have burned through all of his money, isn't taking any of his meds, (or if he is, they are the wrong ones!), and he is very very ill, and may be homeless soon. He is only allowed to see his children under supervision, because of his previous actions, and has no friends there. He won't admit to having any problems, and insists that everyone else is the cause of all of his difficulties. Could his marriage and divorce have been handled better? Sure...and the industry he was in has had major financial problems, but neither of those things made him ignore his mental illness or become an alcoholic. I just wish that my husband did not have to bear the brunt of his abuse and anger.

The hardest thing on earth to do is watch someone you love die inch by inch.

Is it bad that I just wish this was over one way or another? That he would either get better and be perfectly fine, or not, with all that implies?

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Julius is waking up several times a night due to the cold wind whipping through our windows. But since we are still six months away from any renovations what with permits and drawings, etc. I can't justify spending the money to fix them. Really, I might be ripping it out right away, right?

So we have plastic over the windows....not exactly the classy image I was hoping for, sigh....

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I did have some good news, my not very formal effort to diet is paying off and I've lost a few inches on my waist. My jeans are loose and have to be held up with a belt! That good news was quashed by an irritating encounter on Saturday when TWO different people casually gestured towards my stomach and asked pregnancy related questions.

As if I was STILL pregnant.

And the baby is FIVE MONTHS OLD.

Honestly, that really crushed me, because it's not like I'm the only mom in the world who has extra weight, but sometimes I think that I am the only woman who has so much on her stomach. But should that matter? Isn't it incredibly rude for anyone to do that?

And why do I let jerks suck all the joy out of my life?

I think that's the real question.