I had a visitor today from Canada's political scene, in fact, from Ottawa. I think it was a fellow infertile, and no, it wasn't any of the regular visitors I have who work in government departments. I don't mind you guys, because most of you seem to be bloggers or fellow moms, or infertiles just surfing by. No---this was a visitor from a very political place. And the only posts they looked at were the posts that they thought they could use to identify me. Most infertiles never notice my political posts, and most political visitors never look at my infertile posts. But this was different. They searched for specific details about the real me.
Worst part? They didn't identify themselves by email or comment, and they might be a friend or a political enemy, or shit, a frenemy. I'm stressed and I'd like to blog about something else causing me severe anxiety, but I'm kind of freaked now. Because someday, someone is going to come up behind me and say, "I know you are Aurelia, and I'm going to expose you," and because I react badly to blackmail, well, I'll just tell them to do whatever, and let the chips fall where they may.
Which sounds very nonchalant, and really, I feel sick.
I hope I'm wrong, and I don't know what to do. There's no way of knowing who saw that screen even if I track the IP address to the exact office. And of all the weeks to do this to me, this has to be the worst one possible.
So, I'm now tired and paranoid, and miserable. Help.