Friday, November 02, 2007

taking care

I'm not sure if it's normal pregnancy blahs, or if I'm feeling extra stressed or even some depression, but I'm just not doing a very good job at keeping myself together.

Mentally I'm full of fuzz. I'm losing appointments, not filling out my calendar, not paying bills, getting everyone into school late....

Emotionally I'm alternating between goofy moments where I wander around baby stores and stare at things to buy, and sit here saddened beyond reason convinced I'm about to miscarry.

Physically, I'm taking all the medication I'm supposed to, but I seem to have a UTI of some sort of non-specific bacterial origin. Both urine samples came back showing multiple bacteria, possibly contamination, but enough bacteria that it's unlikely my screw-up, more like a lab screwup. The UTI seems to be causing soreness, and cramping and tugging around my uterus. It's not round ligament pain, because I know what that is, more like tiny electric shocks in my cervix and little stabbing pains. I thought it was just Fred the Fibroid, but now---time to take some antibiotics I think.

And I seem to have some sort of insomnia. Which makes me paranoid. I'm tired all day, but late at night, I wake up.

So I just sat in front of my Golite for an hour. I need to reset my clock, get a little less depressed, get some quality sleep. Everyday, everyday, I need to keep on an even keel.


  1. All of this is completely understandable. You know early in my pregnancy I also had little stabbing pains. Worried me given my history but as we know the cervix has been behaving impeccably this time around. Certainly you need to deal with the UTI and bacterias, but can't the discomfort also be related to your pelvic region getting used to the stretching and increased blood flow? That's the excuse my doctor gave anyway.

    Take care. We're here for you.

  2. Aurelia: I feel the same way when it comes to the emotions and the fuzzy brain. I seem to be sitting around sighing a lot. I feel so sad. I'm not sure why. Oh, and I'm feeling unbelievably stupid now, too. I joked with my hubby that it's baby-brain, but I don't remember it coming this early the last time.

    I too have had tugs, shots of pain and relative discomfort. I'm not sure if they're the same as yours, but the doc told me to remember every pregnancy is different and not to sweat it just yet. Yah, right.

    Hang in there.

  3. Get thee on antibiotics. You know I am paranoid about bacteria down there.

  4. Ewe ick...with the uppy downny times...hate it when that happens.
    Just say no to sobbing for no good reason!

  5. Well, keeping on an even keel is likely going to be very hard, if not impossible, at least for a while. So, maybe you can give yourself a break and permission to feel like this.

    That said, is there anything that you've found that reduces your mood swings? Could any of your medications be affecting your sleep or your concentratraion?

  6. The idea of a Golite sounds really relaxing to me. The idea of it reminds me of a tanning bed. I used to go to tan when I was younger and there was something so relaxing about the warmth from the lights. I am sure the Golite isn't quite like that, just don't burst my bubble, ok?

    Maybe you should try some chocolate therapy. It may help the Halloween Fairy pay less.

  7. I had a UTI that lasted my entire pregnancy with K. I was put on a few rounds of strong antibiotics and the UTI just kept coming back. After a consult with a urologist and some testing, they ended up putting me on a low dose amoxicillin every day for the rest of my pregnancy. And K was just don't worry about taking antibiotics. Better that than ugly bacteria.

  8. Hey, you can call me anytime you want. In fact, let's set a date this week for me to come visit you. We can bake cookies :-)

  9. Ah, sleep, it's so fickle. I am having a similar problem with sleep as well. Tired and needing a nap all day, but waking up constantly in the middle of the night. And, wouldn't it be nice if we could just glow with confidence in our pregnancies instead of analyzing and reanalyzing every single symptom and complication. Sheesh. Ah, to be blissfully ignorant. That sure sounds nice.

  10. I went through the same problems when i was in your stage of pregnancy.
    Hope your blahs go away soon.

  11. Hello luv....

    I haven't commented in awhile but I have been lurking. =) I do hope that the antibiotics can relieve this UTI, like you need to have to worry more about what is going on "down there". Deffinately take the antibiots. Allow your body and mid to rest......naps are so great, I loved napping when I was pregnant with Birdie.

    thinking of you......very much.

  12. Hope you are feeling better. A UTI is not fun for the non-pregnant... even less so for the pregnant. I'll be praying for you and your family.

  13. I hope you get back on an even keel soon - especially as regards sleeping. A good night's sleep does make things better, even though it sounds like such grandmother advice.