Monday, December 03, 2007

- I have to do something with this list in the previous post, because I know it's great to have a list somewhere for someone who is searching and also simply for the fact that it doesn't really exist anywhere else.

So if I get ambitious I'll consolidate it into one post and link it on my sidebar. Of course considering how tired I am, that may be a fantasy.

- Pssst, by the way, Megan is pregnant again, she comments on my blog and on a few of yours, but doesn't have a blog of her own. On that last post, she told me in the comments! Congratulations Megan! We have to go out for a ginger ale to celebrate hon! I'd offer to buy you a beer, but you know how it is, eh?

- In other news, I am so happy that NaBloPo fuckin' Mo is over I CANNOT tell you. I cannot read this many people posting and such great stuff. And comment? I just can't think up enough great stuff to say back. I may be just clicking all as read like Maggie suggested and starting fresh. Trouble is, I'm sure I've missed some major life events for some people now. Shit. I'm sorry.

- I finally went to Costco, and stocked up the freezer for the next millenium or the next miscarriage, which ever comes first. And bought Mac a Squawkers Macaw electronic parrot. Totally goddamn annoying, I put it in a darkened closet downstairs and it's still talking. A feature of this toy is that it repeats everything it hears. So far, it says "Shut up you stupid toy" and "Fuck me, how do I turn this thing off". I'm thinking I need to return it, or take a valium.

- I'm so impressed that Elizabeth Edwards commented on Tash's blog. And very very awesome list on that post. I love the line about the DeadBabyMama cocktail party. I want to hold one of those....I'm thinking some T.O. bloggers need to get together and have another sex toy shopfest, or just the cocktails?

- Today, I went to the Doctor alone, and since my appointment got switched, Mr.Cotta couldn't come. Baby has a heartbeat...and we have passed twelve weeks, now at 13 weeks. My doctor is nice, but boy he had a strange idea. He actually suggested exercising, with a personal trainer, someone he supervises directly who will come to my house. He is worried that with the osteoporosis I'll get worse because I'm not "exercising like normally", but sitting around since I am afraid to move. I still do a lot, if not hauling laundry and hockey bags anymore, I still put laundry away and tie skates, but who's kidding who here?

I wasn't sure how to break it to him that the only formal exercise I prefer to engage in is lifting a glass of wine to my lips. I switched to OJ recently but, really lifting a glass is just like lifting weights, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Anyway, I think I looked at him like he had an arm sticking out of his forehead, I was so shocked, but he assured me that he does this with all his high risk patients, even the ones on bed rest, can do some stuff lying down so they avoid losing too much muscle and bone mass. Hmmm, we'll see. The avoiding the gym part appeals to me. I don't like any of those tight fitting clothes they all wear, and most gyms seems to reek of competitive sports and narcissism. Or maybe it's just the horrid pickup lines I get. Whatever, I refuse to sweat in public. It's gauche. And it's nothing to do with sexism, I think it's terribly rude when anyone does it, male or female. If you wouldn't pee in public, or pick your nose, why would you willingly allow any bodily fluid loss to be witnessed by anyone other than your spouse or a licensed medical professional? the privacy of a labour & delivery room, or your own home gym, sure, but running around on the street half-naked, soaking wet and ugly?

I mean really, all this body worship sort of reminds of the way evangelicals worship JAY-SUUUS, or the way tabloids worship the Britney trainwreck, or the way economists worship the "wisdom" of the stock market, all of which also make me feel uncomfortable. We can exercise for fun & fitness, or bike or whatever, normal stuff doesn't bother me, it's more the extreme esthetic of running snobbery or cycling until every last ounce of fat is gone, and so is every last ounce of kindness. Walking into those gyms, you know you aren't welcome unless you are already fit; no fat people allowed, and no flabby people allowed. Hell, no one allowed in who hasn't already drank the Kool-Aid.

Anyway, I know it will suck, but I'm willing to meet with the guy once. I'm not really sure where he thinks we could do this. There is no place in my house with enough floor space to do anything at all. Oh shit, and then I'd have to clean up just to have him come over.

Sigh...I'm already tired thinking of this. Time for bed.


  1. OK...the parrot has me laughing my butt off. You must be insane to willingly bring something like that into your house.


    Good luck with the personal trainer. I can't wait to hear out it goes. (giggle)

  2. Whew, the parrot is funny.

    I'm gauche apparently, because I'm excited to get back to sweating in public. Your description of the gym reminded me of the short time I lived in LA - I was freaked out because at our gym I was the only woman not dressed in full makeup and elaborately matched workout clothing. Here though everyone's dressed in whatever t-shirt they most recently received from their department and whatever shorts were clean enough to be worn in public. And everyone is most certainly not already fit and most are unlikely ever to be.

    So so glad about the heartbeat yesterday! Hope is sneaking up on us here.

  3. Parrot -- BWAH. ("Polly wants a fuckin' cracker!")

    Megan, CONGRATS. Wow. Yikes. With no blog to keep track of, I'll be surfing a million blogs for your posts now. Hmm. Be sure to update on mine occasionally, please?

    Heartbeat! Huzzah! And I think if you close the OJ container and do curls with it, that would be just fine. Maybe you need to break out the parrot when the trainer comes?

  4. Were you in a drug induced stupor when you bought that parrot? I think that parrot needs to experience the business end of a hammer.

    Then there's the exercising. Whenever I read that I should be exercising, I want to cut that page out of the book and put it ceremoniously through the shredder. Sure a scenic walk sounds nice, but scheduled exercise, I think not. The people who say you can't jar a fetus out of its comfy home have never read my bloggie friend's tales. Hmph.

  5. Like beruriah, our gym is filled with middle-aged engineers in company t-shirts. We have a sprinkling of college athletes and sorority girls, but you can tell them by the "school logo" gear and the cell phone attached to head even while on the elliptical. I've gotten over having all my jiggly bits showing -- I just can't stand baggy workout clothes. I still hate to sweat though and I disgust myself. Other people don't bother me, but I hate being dripping wet.

  6. There are only 3 things I'll sweat, yoga and sex!
    Can you get a hold of a copy of Gaiam's Prenatal yoga with Shiva Rea?

    The parrot...saw them at costco too...and kept right on walking!

  7. I saw that parrot. Monkey asked for that parrot. I said no freaking way, and off we went. Good thing, I see. :)

    Good luck to you with that personal trainer deal. Hope the dude is cute. :) To be completely honest, I think I would've liked one of those. Because I am always afraid to exercise while pg, but would feel better if it was with supervision by someone with high risk experience. I get muscle aches from misuse, and am thinking this might help. And, of course, bonus points for if he is cute. :)


    I really really really liked this one.

  9. Thanks, Aurelia. You are awfully sweet.
    I'm so, so glad that you heard a heartbeat. What a beautiful sound.
    (And I'm with Jennifer - yoga is far more civilized.)

  10. More Yays for Dinkypie!

    Squakers sounds like a totally PITA. I have my older girl convinced mommy doesn't know how batteries work.

    I should be doing yoga and weights.
    Perhaps you could post your program. Your doc is so full of good ideas.

  11. Hooray for the heartbeat, first of all!

    The trainer thing sounds cool... I know you're not looking forward to it, but you might be pleasantly surprised.

  12. I saw the Parrot at Sam's Club. Loved it. Wanted it for me, until I realized the freakin' thing wouldn't shut up.

    I am SO in for the sex toy/any reason for cocktails get together. Ever heard of Crockadoodle? It'd be a hoot, I'm sure. Lemme know what I can bring (and aren't I the presumptive one to assume that I am invited!).

    As for working out. I do go to the gym - not that my physique does much for the gym's marketing plan, I assure you. If you can find and afford to have someone come to your home, I think it's a great idea.

  13. i have to admit, i'm pretty impressed with your doctor for giving a %&$^% about the state of your muscles, though. not because i like exercise - i'm with you on the wine glass curls - but because, having done bed rest twice, in hospital, i was left with twigs for legs and absolutely no "core" whatsoever, just a blob that's still unable to pull itself up straight. and my doctors gave not a hoot, apparently, since the hospital took no measures to offer any help with prevention of loss of muscle or bone mass.

    so, weird to have someone come over, and i think i'd be tempted to scare him away with the parrot, but the long run...kinda cool.

    yay for the heartbeat...a wonderful sound indeed.

  14. I am glad the appointment went well.

    You can't drink, but we could eat chocolate and go shopping.

  15. "So far, it says "Shut up you stupid toy" and "Fuck me, how do I turn this thing off". I'm thinking I need to return it, or take a valium."

    HAHAHAHA. This is the funniest thing I've read in a while!

    Thanks for the link to Tash's blog.

  16. Huh. I need one of those parrots.

    Yes, try yoga.

  17. It'd be interesting to hear what the exercise guy does. Also, yay for heartbeats etc.



    and congrats to megan, who i'll have to get to know through other people's blogs.

    as for exercise -- yoga might be nice, and so might pilates (you can modify for pregnancy). neither one takes much space at all. i'm still struggling to regain my strength and posture after having three babies in the last three years. the depression of two stillbirths hasn't helped with that, it's true, nor has my now-hard-earned aversion to exericse while pregnant.

    so i guess i'm saying do as i say, not as i do.

    any chance you could work with a female trainer? (i'm wondering if you'd get somebody more sympathetic to your situation that way....)

  19. i'm so glad for the heartbeat!

    i loved your rant about sweating in public. hilarious! maybe you could get a cleaning service before the trainer comes, b/c you don't want to pull a muscle before your session.

  20. Maybe the cleaning up for the trainer is the exercise....

    As for the parrot, yours sounds brilliant compared to the one on the video.