Thank you

Thank you, to each and everyone of you who commented. I'm on my meds right now, and I think from now on I'm going to try and post only when I'm on them. A couple of you pointed out that my posts have been harder to read since I've been pregnant, and you are right. So writing in the morning when I'm well slept and on meds can't hurt and it just might make me a little more organized. (I've been posting late at night, when I should be sleeping, not a good idea.)

There are a couple of issues that may not allow me to take my meds as often as I want. Like the effect on my sleep, and my appetite, both critical areas in pregnancy. I may end up taking some 4 hour medications most days and trying to cram in as much as I can into those 4 hours, like errands, and writing emails, or making phone calls to anyone important. Then I can just eat more the rest of the day. Other days, I'll need an all day time release and I'll just have to eat even if I'm not hungry.

One other issue is the physical effect on my body, as mentioned in the comments, and some of you might worry about my heart. I have had an SVT show up in pregnancy before, but it was mild and only showed up at the end. I've had several heart tests done before both in pregnancy and post pregnancy, specifically, 72 hour holter monitors, (a continuously done ekg), echocardiograms, stress tests with echocardiograms and contrast studies, blood tests, etc. You name it, I've had it. Normally my blood pressure is very very low, and even on the dexedrine has only gone slightly higher to a level most people would consider normal. It's only in the final trimester of pregnancy that it has ever been too high, and it will be monitored. There are lots of drugs that can treat this condition by the way, many safe in pregnancy, so I do have a solution if needed.

At some point, I won't be able to take any stimulants due to the effect on my BP, but that's a long way off, so I'm thinking I need to relax, and my cardiologist can let me know if it's a problem. I have an appointment with him coming up, but damned if I can find my calender...another task for today.

I do worry about the physical consequences to me of being off them, but I don't want anyone to think that the average unfocused symptoms of ADD aren't an issue. They just aren't ones that anyone ever thinks of. I'm hiring the cleaning lady to come in more often, and getting my organizer back, so that may calm my brain down a bit more.

You've helped me to believe that I need to be on the meds, but that wasn't the only factor. I went over to someone's house last night, the couple who were over at Thanksgiving, and not only was I off my meds, but I was the only sober person in a room full of drinkers. I was too loud and obnoxious and unable to hold back on my opinions AT ALL. And when the husband in question started drunkly raving on about how his exercise club had let some fat woman join and she had the nerve to use the leg lift machine and not get up off it as fast as he wanted, I lost it. Especially when he started sneeringly imitating her huffing and puffing and how she was barely lifting any weights at all.

I told him off, really really thoroughly. He kept protesting that it was because she hadn't followed proper etiquette in using the machine and letting him do his sets on it first, and I pointed out that the emphasis when he spoke was on the word fat, and he had not even mentioned in passing her etiquette until I challenged him. I pointed out that people like him were the exact reason that most people don't want to join exercise clubs and go, and that it was her first time working out and she was with a trainer, and it probably took her a hell of a lot of bravery to go there and even try, and he could've just skipped the machine and shown some compassion and friendliness. It was sooo satisfying to tell him off. I have to admit, I felt like I was defending every blog friend who has ever told me they have a weight problem and don't feel welcome at exercise clubs.

Only problem? I was too loud and too obnoxious and I could've just rolled my eyes and said it quietly, and maybe more gently so Mr.Cotta and the man's wife didn't feel so uncomfortable and upset. The man was drunk and stupid, and needed to be ignored, and I kind of upped the ante too much, waaaayyy too much. Anyway, on the way home, I decided to take my meds whenever I see this couple from now on. There are several people in my life just like that, and I need to be able to ignore them and keep my cool instead of rising to the bait.

Anyway, I need to get dressed and get myself together now. Maybe find and fill out my calender, wooo-hoooo!