I forgot to mention that I haven't been sleeping much lately, mostly because I'm getting such bad heartburn now that if I lie down flat, I throw up in my sleep. I'm propped up but it isn't helping. Over the weekend, I started to aspirate my own barf and was so terrified to go to bed, I gave up sleeping at all. I'm convinced I'll die if I lie down.
So now I'm a little nuts. My Doctor gave me a different prescription for the heartburn on Monday but I can barely make it to the pharmacy. I feel like shit.
And then after he and I had looked at his schedule a few weeks ago and figured out what day I'd get my early induction, based on when he is on, and based on the condition of my placenta....another of his fucking vacations have been added. Apparently the other 15 weeks a year he takes vacation aren't enough. *eyeroll* I'm being ABANDONED. He's gone from May 26th to June 9th, and loads of other high risk OBs are covering him, but so what? I chose him for a reason. My only option now is to either get induced on May 25th, a Sunday and pray I do my entire labour and delivery within that 24 hours, or wait 2 whole weeks for my placenta to deteriorate and suffocate my baby to death. And induction that early, before my body has done much dilating, is not so easy, even for a woman whose cervix has dilated before.
Cause hey, it's not like I've ever had this issue come up before, right? You know, emergency high-risk deliveries with placental tears and menconium and babies who barely make it out alive....nahhh, not even an issue for me.
And yes, when I found out that he had added this vacation, I burst into tears in front of his secretary and panicked completely. She got him from his office and he told me we'll work it out somehow and he hugged me and maybe it will be fine, but I can't even think about this logically anymore I'm so scared and sick and exhausted.
Whatever happened to docs working long hours and having a commitment to their patients? I know CEOs who work longer hours these days, never mind the average working person. I swear you'd think they were special or different. My GP, my pediatrician, my OB, every Doc I get referred to it seems. Meanwhile, being a Doctor seems to have become a part-time profession these days....I haven't noticed them taking any paycuts though.