Friday, November 16, 2007

A man stands up

You know what I find mystifying? That Brenda Batisse is still not getting the help she needs, yet her friends and relatives have LOTS of time to google and blog search for their own names and hers. The number of searches with her name or theirs is enormous. Their narcissism is pretty pathetic actually.

Back on this post, someone left a comment, go look and then read my reply.

Anonymous, I assume you are the boyfriend in question, or a friend or an associate, because none of the men I know in real life would ever have the nerve to make such a pathetic excuse. A real man stands up. He doesn't weasel out of his duty to his family.

So, shut up. We all have to work, but if you have to go out of town, and leave your very far along pregnant girlfriend all alone, then you make sure she has people with her who will watch her and take care of her if she goes into labour early, or has, ohhh, I don't know, ANY problem at all. Obviously no one did. Brenda was abandoned.

You can't just have a baby die at home, go through labour & delivery like that, and not have anyone figure it out. Anything past the first trimester----the whole world knows it, either through the pain, or the blood, or the altered mental status of the woman concerned. For pete's sake, my neighbours, my friends, my associates know everything about my pregnancy just by looking at me. They hear everything, know everything, and I'm in faceless, depersonalized Toronto, for pete's sake! Small towns are supposed to be even worse for nosy neighbours.

The fact is that she didn't feel she could depend on this guy and share the truth, or she would have. Even if she didn't want to call anyone, doctors have lists of people they call in case of emergency labour or a mother or baby death, (They may not say it out loud to pregnant women, but that's why they ask for those names and numbers.) The sheer volume of forms I have already filled out this pregnancy alone with names, phone numbers, contacts is ridiculous, and I'm only 10 weeks along.

The Doctor had to have known something was wrong when she stopped showing up for OB visits. You get measured & examined every single time. And pregnant women don't just disappear and not go to appointments, so why wasn't her Doctor trying to find her?

If the hospital did not call the family, or the boyfriend or the emergency contacts, and get her some help when she was obviously in shock, and mentally traumatized from the loss, then they were negligent. At minimum, the hospital would've needed the father's or family's help to make funeral arrangements, sign legal papers, for birth and death registration, and stillbirth certificates, because it's not a like a body can just disappear.

If the hospital simply ignored all that then the hospital and her Doctor should be sued to within an inch of their lives.

But the lawyers aren't doing that, so that tells me that something else, that something awful is going on in that family.

Again, Brenda needs help, and maybe the system doesn't want to hold her boyfriend or her family or her hospital or her community responsible. They just want to heap blame on her head, and escape any moral or legal responsibility.

Well, tough shit, not on this blog.

HERE, the boyfriend and every other jerk who abandoned her in her time of need takes equal blame, and Brenda gets forgiveness.

Now, get off the net, and go pay attention to your family.


  1. What to say. You're right. What an unbelievable tragedy.

  2. You are awesome, Aurelia. Thanks for saying all of this -- you are so right, I truly hope that Brenda gets the help and support she really needs. It is a tragic situation all around.

  3. Haha AWESOME Points

    I'm off to read the comment.