Thursday, January 03, 2008

Children are evil

So why am I having another child? And another boy to boot? Gahhhhhhhh

We have two kids, matched in age, over at our house today for playdates. (Playdate Law: 1 guest per kid is perfect, uneven numbers are bad, and a more than 6 kids is a mob, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!) Today the numbers are not working: the two older ones have been torturing the younger ones quite mercilessly, and the younger visitor seems to think that trashing the house is the appropriate response to not getting his way. Mac has been sulking ever since finding out that the older boys made his Squawkers Macaw, say, "I hate Mac," and "You've been punk'd, bitch."

Okay really, I've been sulking about the last one more. I got really mad at the kids when they came home from going to the store, and told them they had to fix the parrot and rerecord something nicer. I can't tell whose voice it is, and I don't care which one did it, so I held both the little buggers responsible. Grrrrr.....

I know girls can be worse, cattier, nastier, sneakier; at least the boys are up front about bullying. But, oh shit. I really hate this kind of stuff. I think this is why siblings should be conceived when the first baby is young enough that the parents are still gripped with naivete that siblings can be friends, and not stab each other to death for kicks.

They all finally calmed down when we put on the Simpson's movie. Nothing like a round of potty humour and humiliation to stun the male of the species into a coma.

When does school start again? Military boarding school that is?


  1. I just caught up on all the posts since after Christmas. I'm glad to hear Mac made it through his ordeal ok!

  2. This made me laugh. My older brother and I are extremely close now, but we used to literally beat each other up when we were kids...and we used to call each other all kinds of names (I won't post what they were) and I remember one day my mom getting so mad and screaming at the top of her lungs, "there will be no more butt terms in this house!" My mom finally got tired of mediating disputes and she told us to just go ahead and beat each other up, so we did. Ha ha - thanks for the laugh. Hang in there! It will all be okay!

  3. Kids are totally evil. We must all be insane!

  4. They'll probably turn out to be the best of friends and get along swimmingly all the time. It's just that the 15 years before that happens aren't going to be so much fun.

  5. Gotta agree with Niobe on this one. One of my sisters burned the other sister in the face with a curling iron on an Easter morning just for not holding still. The two are currently the best of friends. Sounds like it's hardest on the parents at this point.

  6. Just think, if it were girls, you'de be looking for a nice convent.

    WE started back to school on thursday, imagine a whole school of out of control boys.

  7. I have 3 boys. I often wonder what karma I pissed off that I am surrounded by all this testosterone.