I'm still here

I'll do a longer post when I get back from my OB's, but yes, I'm alive and so is Dinkypie. My placenta looked good on Friday, so good, I almost apologized for everything looking so okay, so perfect, so absolutely wonderful. I'm half afraid they'll kick me out for being fraudulently high-risk! They all laughed and said, noooo, don't be silly. They like good news stories.

I was kind of hesitant to post about this visit, because other than a few jokes, it was pretty shitty. And I know some of you know which hospital BAMH is, and like it. But this is me, and I can't lie about what I actually experience in life, or that would be wrong. The only reason I'm even going there at all now is because I want to get this one special placenta doctors opinion, and otherwise stay at my favourite women's hospital. So far, he's been as kind and good as his reputation said he'd be. But this visit I had to see his partner---who needs a name. Hmmmm, let's call him Dr.Nyar.

First off, though, I was scanned by a couple of techs, one very experienced and one trainee. I said no problem to letting the trainee check me out, because she had a superviser, and because that way I get an extra long scan and get to hear all the juicy details while they talk. Well, something odd happened, cause it turns out I'm better at reading these machines than they are. My placenta is anterior they think, but no one is quite sure, because they also tell me is at the top of the fundus. And the whole shrinking, growing fibroid that moves controversy?

Turns our there are two.

I found the second one.

Sigh....

Fred, who hasn't moved even though they think he has is still lower down and pretty big, although no one will give me a number, since he is getting ill-defined edges and is hard to measure. They found him first and were convinced that Dr.Placenta was wrong and that the fibroid wasn't under the placenta. I asked how it was possible for it to move again, and they shrugged. Then we looked at the placenta again and were measuring it, and of course, I asked what the giant dark spot behind the placenta was if it wasn't a fibroid, and they kept saying, what dark spot? Where?

I finally had to sit up covered in goo, holding the wand on my stomach and jab at the screen."Look, THAT thing." "Ohhhh, yeah, I guess you have a second fibroid."

No shit Sherlock. Did you get that radiology license in a gumball machine?

The one under my placenta for sure is about 4.5 x 5.5 cm. And the blood flow is fine around it and through it. This all seems to be located at my fundus (top of the uterus). But now I have no idea if Fred has been shrinking or if they have been measuring the wrong one all along. So for the moment, I'm equally mad at every one of the FIVE different places I've been scanned so far. I think all their OHIP billings should go to me. Incompetent #$%^#$%^#$.

Surprisingly, that isn't the most annoying thing that happened to me that day. Dr.Nyar came in to look at one measurement of my uterine artery; the left one is no longer relaxed, but seems to have developed high blood pressure, shit. He asked what medications I was on, and seemed to get the fragmin and aspirin. But when I told him about the intravaginal prometrium he got rude. He just kept saying over and over again how useless it was and how stupid I was for taking it and how it wouldn't make any difference at all. He derisively laughed when I told him that I was quite happy taking it because it whenever I forgot it, my cervix gets softer and shorter and since I have a history of preterm labour, I prefer to do this. He was horrified that I touched my own cervix to check. The fact that I've been checking my cervix almost every day for 15 years and know it was well as the back of my hand means nothing apparently. (I guess any woman touching her own vagina is kind of shocking to him. I'm sure there is a big scarlet 'S' for slut on my chart now. *eyeroll*)

His big comeback? There is no evidence based medicine to support taking it. My comeback? Yes, there is. Just check the March of Dimes website. Oh, and there is NO evidence based medicine like a RCT to support putting in cerclages, but every Tom, Dick, and Harry does those. It was not a cool scene. He was very very unprofessional. To the point where as he left the room, his last comment was "It still doesn't work."

I don't accept that last-word-wins-bullshit from my kids, I'm sure as hell not taking it from a grown man!

I don't like being patronized, and I don't like being told that my own observations about my own body are a lie. I don't care how big it is, or how much money they have. That hospital treats me like shit. And there are many many more examples I haven't even blogged about sadly. I really don't have to take it, so I'm not listening to Dr.Nyar. Thank God I know not to trust Doctors.

Back later.