Saturday, January 12, 2008

A refugee in a house full of boys

I'm sitting here on the couch beside all the men, as they watch football. So far every time I make on observation I get ignored, so I figured I'd share my insights with you.

There is a funny man in black stripes who talks very loudly whenever he touches his belt. He seems to enforce rules? Very bossy. Men who talk with their belts creep me out.

Why is it when men burp during a game it's manly and appropriate, but when I do it after a particularly satisfying meal sitting with the very same men, it's rude?

The Patriots all seem to have broad shoulders and nice tight butts and legs, and the Jacksonville team has wide rear ends and large beefy legs. The Patriots are wearing white pants, and the Jacksonville team is wearing black pants. Black is supposed to be slimming, but this does not seem to be working in their case. Do you think that sexier cuter football guys win more games?

No one in this house understands me.

Casey had a good idea, btw, and I've started taking extra zinc every morning, as well as my extra calcium and D at night. I used to and it was great, but I ran out and forgot. So, here I am going back to the start! Men just don't want to hear about this btw, so I'm very very grateful for you, my lovely readers. I know that someday soon I will be completely surrounded by men, and unable to escape the testosterone. Hopefully the baby will be kind of gender neutral for awhile, but I'm not holding out much hope.

Funny little oddity at my OB appointment btw, my OB refused to let me make more than one appointment ahead of time. He explained that depending on how the ultrasounds and exams turn out, he might need to schedule me for coinciding US appointments with the high-tech machine down the hall. Considering that he has his own machine in the office and at any time he can get access to the heavy duty machine, it sounded odd. He is very very positive at every single appointment. So positive that Mr.Cotta keeps wondering why we're still going every single week, and why we even need to get any more checks. I think he is listening to the words, but not to the subtext of the conversations with the doctor. Because when I listen to the OB, I hear that he is still concerned enough to want to keep his options open and schedule me in week by week.

Kind of scary, but reassuring in an odd sort of way. We got the results of the full amnio report, and all the chromosomes are perfect. Just like the FSH test! Awesome....but until I see the full anatomy scan, I won't feel okay.

You see I know a number of women who have had perfect amnio results and good nuchal tests, and still had a child with birth defects. Some minor and treatable, and some fatal. That's one reason why I scheduled this test for 19 weeks. (or 18 weeks 6 days depending on your math). I wanted to be firmly in the window for measurements. Too early or too late and they can't compare you properly to the several zillion other people who have had this test in their giant database.

If all goes well, I'm going to celebrate by buying some maternity clothes, including a coat. I'm officially bursting out of all of the coats I own already. Of course, no one will be coming shopping with me for the clothes, which is kind of disappointing. And I can't even shop for long since I have to go see that shrink again who suggested the mantra. Mostly I'm just going so I can clarify that I need to see a different person than her. A person with some sort of skill-set that involves perception and hearing.

I really am surrounded by male type communicators during this pregnancy. But at least my OB listens and even talks a bit like a woman. Which helps. Along with all of my wonderful bloggy friends. I don't know how I'd make it through without you.

Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. For every click, for every comment, thank you. You will never know how much you have saved my sanity.


  1. Oh, you crack me up.
    Because my knowledge of this here version of football? Very limited. but I do understand the touchdowns. And the field goals.

    I get the apprehension about the doctor's course of action. But maybe he is just trying to save you time in case he needs to prebook the big-ass machine? Instead of having you sit in the waiting room while he arranges to get use of it. Does that make sense?

  2. I'd be happy to go maternity clothes shopping with you. call me.

  3. LOL.

    I'm so projecting myself into the future and seeing a future me surrounded by boys watching sport.

  4. Oh URG, mine are still at the point where strangling eachother is the funnest thing to do.

    I'd go shopping with you, but I think that kansas is a bit far from where you are, and since I don't drive . . . .

  5. Sorry, I'm on the couch with the guys. However, I think there's a dissertation to be written on appropriate male/male touching DURING a football game vs. not. seriously, people.

    Yay on the amnio results! I wouldn't read too much into the doc appt. thing. For whatever reason, my foot PT guy likes me to schedule just one week out. Whatev.

    Say, if you want to email me your size requirements, I have a most most lovely wool/angora mix coat that is not maternity, but that I just bought up a number of sizes. It's delovely and in need of a home. I am petite tho, if that makes a difference.

  6. I'd go shopping with you -- if I didn't live on the opposite end of the country from you ;)

    I was disappointed to hear on the news yesterday that the Seattle Seahawks lost their playoff game. (I'll always have a thing for Seattle)

    Other than that, I am more of a CFL person, and have ALWAYS been a Roughriders fan. (HELLOOOO!!! ROUGHRIDERS JUST WON THE 2007 GREY CUP CHAMPIONSHIP IN NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :D

    So, I don't care who wins the Superbowl now, as I would have cheered for Seattle. But, I love your comparisons of the two teams and all the silly refs! ;)

    But for watching, I prefer CFL to the NFL any day. I find NFL quite boring.

    Sorry to hear about your testosterone overload lately. That sucks. I don't know what to suggest except that you should get a female Miniature Australian Shepherd pup!! -- our Scarlett is sooo sweet and cute -- she is such a girly dog! I don't know what I'd do without her -- and currently my husband is out-numbered 3 to 1 -- with two female dogs and me (and trust me, I can be quite the bitch, too, sometimes!) ;)

    Anyway, hope you're having a nice weekend despite all the NFL and testosterone.

    Good luck with your appointments, too -- I think it's great that your OB is seeing you weekly and watching over you carefully. Better than one that you have to chase down for an appointment!

  7. Gotta love 'em?

    Your OB will certainly be on top of things as quickly as possible at that rate. That's a comfort, anyway.


  8. Hi Aurelia, sorry I've not visited in so long! Just wanted to say how happy I am for you and also, great news about the tests, I'll be hoping for wonderful anatomy results too! Only 147 days left! x

  9. I'm so happy to be part of your cheering section.

  10. also happy to be in the cheering section. and the amnio report? great news. really. i get what you're saying about the possibility of birth defects, and would also want my u/s scheduled during the window you refer to...but even after that, i wonder if you will rest easy, or just develop different fears?

    i mean no insult to you in that. it's's how my own brain works. and sometimes it's a hell of a burden to drag around.

  11. the amnio news is great. i hope the u/s follow-up is reassuring. that is, i hope you can find a way to be reassured when (note the optimism?) the news is good.

    LOVE the football analysis. our watching goes like this: we sit together, s glued to the tv, me knitting or talking to m or daydreaming. s leaves to get another beer. something big happens while he's gone. he comes back and asks me what happened.

    me: "um, somebody held something."
    s: "was there a penalty?"
    me: "um, the guys in blue still have the ball."
    s: "what yard line are they on?"
    me: "well, they're still somewhere in the middle."

    i swear, even when i try to pay attention i can't. i think know most of the rules but when it comes to watching what happens i'm always watching the wrong thing -- like the ball, instead of the formation -- and then i tune out the referee. it's really sad.

    but it must be some kind of block i have. s is a committed cyclist/racer. when we see cyclists out riding he'll usually ask me what kind of bike it is (because my vision is better than his and i can usually read the down tube). but all i can usually say is "um, red?" so sad.

  12. Uhhhyeah, I have 3 teenaged boys and a husband that acts like one AND I grew up in a single parent house (mom) with no siblings near my age. Football blows. I highly recommend reading, knitting, blogging, Lifetime on a different TV etc. I consider it ME time :)