Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Wandering thoughts at almost 18 weeks

I'm wiped out after all this time with the boys at home over Christmas. My husband had to work most of the time, and today they are back in school, back to their routine, and I can finally get a nap for my very tired pregnant self. Or heck, maybe just the TV to myself for an hour or two! I love hanging out with them, but when they have too much together time, they escalate from bickering to war in no time flat, so school and friends are a very good thing in our case.

My Blackberry is more confusing to work than I thought it would be. I think I'm going to hire a temp to enter all my contacts and calendar on this thing. I've never ever used an electronic organizer, and everybody tells me that this is this answer to my prayers, but I'm not sure it will be unless I can figure out how to send an email! (Yes, the email isn't working properly, welcome to Canada) Apparently Rogers has disabled a host of features available to everyone else in the world because hey, why not? Grrrr....maybe yet another help desk call will work.

And yes, RIM, is a Canadian company, based right here in Ontario, in Waterloo and I think they have a great product, but would you understand if I said that in this one instance, I want to be an American, or well, any country on earth with a competitive wireless market?

Okay, maybe scratch that....I'm sorry to all my US friends, but I just don't believe Obama is the living embodiment of the second coming! Honestly, after 20 years in politics, I've never met a successful "second coming" candidate. They all seem to overpromise, and then underdeliver, and the basic rule in politics is always always always underpromise and overdeliver. Americans seem to have blocked this memory, but George W. Bush was the supposed Messiah to the right wing, and look how well that turned out. Even Republicans are pretty ashamed of his record, even if they don't want to admit it.

Here up in Canada---we had Paul Martin Jr., a talented guy who never quite fulfilled all the fantasies his followers had for him. More recently, Micheal Ignatieff had the same thing happen. So, I'm a little skeptical about Obama, I mean at this point, he'd have to actually BE Jesus Christ to fulfill everything he's reputed to be able to do.

John Edwards? Ehhhh, I'm just not that inspired by him, you know? I don't know why. Hillary I like, mainly because she has a long record of professional & political experience since long before Bill came along. And I'm really really annoyed by all the people who say that she's only where she is because of her husband. Frankly, this is the typical reaction every female candidate gets whenever they run, but I assumed, no hoped, that maybe someone could read her resume and notice that she's had a career for awhile, quite awhile before he was President or even Governor.

On a personal level, I like candidates who have gone through a lot in their lives. It makes them more complex, perhaps more contemplative? Certainly more sensitive to the needs of others, unlike people who have had everything handed to them easily. We all know about Elizabeth & John Edwards struggle after losing their son Wade, and then having their subsequent children. So they understand loss and grief. Funny thing no one ever talks about though, is the struggle Hillary & Bill had to go through to have Chelsea. I remember watching an interview with her long ago where she discussed the years and years of trying to get pregnant, and having practically the entire state of Arkansas watching them in anticipation after she announced she was expecting. I remember her musing about wanting another child, maybe trying to adopt for the second one. She never did either, but I can imagine trying to conceive in front of a national audience is pretty brutal. I'm having the jitters just trying to be pregnant in public what with all our friends and neighbours knowing our history.

Of course, none of that is any guarantee that the person will be sensitive to the needs of the infertile people or of grieving parents. George W.Bush and Laura Bush went through a lot to get their twins, and were in an emergency high-risk delivery situation. They almost lost them, and yet---has anyone noticed any U.S. federally funded research on stillbirth, or miscarriage or neonatal death, or increase insurance coverage for infertility and maternity care? I've seen lots of platitudes, but not much cash on the barrel head for the last 7 years.

And yes, I'm feeling less negative, and a little hope for this pregnancy is sneaking in. Not very solidly, but there a little hope. My official 18 week ultrasound is next Monday morning, and I'm seeing my doctor this week to get checked out a bit. Chit-chat, get weighed, and most likely discover that I've probably gained another 10 pounds. You know how I'm the perennial skinny little chick? Well, not while pregnant, in fact, I blow up like a balloon. I lose it all afterwards, but in the meantime, it's a bit hard to get used to the giant breasts and the disappearing neck, and the way that my normally average toes look like sausages.

Seriously, what the hell do women do who normally have big breasts? I've gone from an almost not quite B size to over a D, and these things are getting in the way!! You just can't do the same kind of stuff with your arms, you know? Whenever this happens to me while pregnant, I begin to feel great sympathy for women who complain about large breasts. I never understood it before pregnancy, but after my first? Oh yeah.....

Off to have a nap now. Or a snack....mmmmmmmm


  1. I would have a crackberry if I didn't suspect what you have just confirmed for me. Oh why, oh why can we not be more like the American's in this regard?

    I thought it was pretty much accepted that Bill got where he is because of Hillary. Didn't she bring home the bacon when he was Governor?

  2. Wacoal is the bra of big breasted women http://www.wacoal-america.com

    So funny that you never had a PIM. Welcome to the Western world.

  3. I don't want to give too much away here, but let's just say through Mr. ABF's work we're pretty, um, plugged in? to American Democratic politics. And I just told someone today that I feel like it's totally burned us and made us completely cynical assholes because we know people who know everyone and I feel like Dorothy when Toto pulled away the curtain. So I'm with you on Obama. I'm actually a bit jealous of the love fest, because I wish I were young and inexperienced and could feel that way about politics. Maybe it's just that the hope train has left the station and I feel that way about everything. Sigh.

    Didn't the princess of Japan (or whatever her title is) go through similar crap in the public eye? I seem to remember a miscarriage, and a whole lot of waiting and watching for a pregnancy. Talk about elevated expectations.

  4. I've been looking for January 6th's commentary from Ben Stein about the presidential hopefuls for you and it doesn't look like it's been released yet. Basically Ben said all the canidates can promise better health reform, better finances, happiness, etc., etc., but ultimately no on can make us happier or healthier or wealthier except ourselves.

    Too many people bundle up all their hopes and dreams for the next 4 years into a mortal who can never deliver, and honestly, shouldn't be expected to. He should be able to provide leadership, but it is us as US citizens who have to be prepared to lead him to it.

  5. Thrice,

    I sort of had an early one, years and years ago, but it was so primitive, it turned me off them for years.

    Tash, I'm DYING to get some of the insider stuff you know. Email me. I'll be discrete!

    Which reminds me. How come so many bloggers don't have a fake email address set up so they can email back and forth when needed without worrying about real identities being revealed? Hmmm

  6. Big boobs suck. At least yours are temporary! I need a surgeon to do something about mine.

  7. Hmmm... No-one I know considers Obama to be the second coming.

    He does, however, represent a profound sea change. And I'm willing, no, anxious to embrace that, warts and all.

    So you'll have to forgive those of us who, after being so beaten down by the events of preceding eight years, are daring to feel hopeful that things might change some. I'm weary of my cynicism.

  8. Are you using Outlook or Outlook Express with your Rogers mail? Part of my job is to manage a Blackberry Enterprise server and subsequently the 60 users we have with the devices. I know you aren't using your BB as a corporate user, but as an individual. However, before RIM released the newer operating system (4.x) users had to manually synchronize their calendars and addres books between their computers and their blackberry. Have you looked at the Blackberry Device Manager software that should have come with your device to see if you can have it synch for you? According to the blackberry.com website, it is possible. I'm happy to help you if you want to email me.

  9. politics sure are a crazy thing down here in the states.

    As far as the insurance for infertility, stillbirth, and miscarriage:
    They all had enough money to do it on their own without it, and so don't think about those of us that don't. Or my favorite which is our situation: Those of us that have great insurance that offers coverage for this, but who work for a Catholic institution that doesn't allow it's employees to take advantage of that coverage. Ahh, yes, love the religious zealots that think if it doesn't happen, it wasn't meant to be. grr.

    Now, off my soapbox: Goodluck wiht the technology!

  10. I think it's amazing that you follow US politics so closely, whereas I (probably like most Americans) have *absolutely* no idea what's going on in Canadian politics. (hangs head in shame)

  11. my big boobs are the bane of my existence. I'd have had reduction surgery done years ago if I hadn't been told it might affect my ability to breastfeed. Then of course they turned out to be crap at that, too, so I"m not sure what they ARE good for.

    Colour me deeply cycnical about politicians in general, and hoping that hilary wins nonetheless.

  12. Almost 18 weeks... it feels like just yesterday you were waiting for the results of your second beta. Way to go, A!

  13. 18 weeks! Now that's a milestone.
    On the bra front, check out Olga models.
    But I really want to ask what you though about that story in the Globe this a.m. in which the political scientist at Carleton says women should support Clinton because she's a woman. (Now there's a sophisticated political analysis!)
    Finally, I'm not a blogger but I have the same anonymity problem. I keep meaning to e-mail you to pick your brains about what details I should demand at my nuchal fold measuring u/s (should I be so lucky to get that far) but I'm too lazy to set up a new e-mail address. I WILL do it though.