Kissing some Frogs

I just wanted to say that I'm feeling better, ever so slightly, and I've decided to be a bit more proactive with the Docs and less reactive.

In other words, I'm back on estrogen, "she says as she dances with JOY!" Bwa-ha-ha. And all my other regimes, like prometrium and estrogel, and mega vitamins, etc. Plus, I'm asking my GP for an ultrasound requisition to redo my thyroid ultrasound, and I'm going to bug someone to get my new blood results to see if anything has changed.

Because it's my body, right? Not the Docs, not the hospitals, and not the OHIP billing guys. I don't care if I've had it done already, it was done wrong and it needs to be redone. My RE is very good at fertility and IVF and menopause, but he isn't thyroid specialist, so he can't help me much, although, (god love him he tries). But that's okay.

When I first thought I might have endometriosis I was 21, and had to see 5 different Gynecologists before someone gave me a laser laparoscopy and got rid of it, for awhile anyway. Same multiple Doctor diagnostic goof-ups with infertility and miscarriages, at this point, I swear there have been more hands up my cha than there have been in a 5 star Las Vegas hooker.

So on the thyroid issue, drumroll, please, ta-daaaaaaa, I have had one family Doc, one RE, 2 endocrinologists, one psychiatrist, and 2 radiologists. Silly me, I have at least 2 or 3 more Doctors to go before someone diagnoses me with the actual problem, right? And a few more after that before we get to a cure, right?

I feel more like taking charge at this point, and less demoralized. Must.focus.on.life.

In fun news, the kids had a good Halloween, yayyy! My 6 year old was a "monster buster", sort of a Ghostbuster for monsters. He invented this himself, green makeup, giant sword, etc. My 10 year old was a Raccoon, dragging a green garbage bin. To anyone outside of Toronto, you will not understand why this is scary, you'll have to trust me, every adult in our neighbourhood agreed he was the most terrifying creature in Toronto, hands down! I made the raccoon costume, sewing my little hands away, and helped with the makeup. My kids friends came over, and the moms and I all sat around drinking wine and handing out candy, while the husband took the kids around to the houses. I think we had about 100 kids, not bad?

Today was the beginning of hockey season. The 6 year old played his first real game, and did pretty well, and my 10 year old became a goalie. This completely freaked me out, since 10 year old DS is as light as a feather. I kept hoping that the equipment would make up for it. It sort of did, and sort of didn't. Eeek, I'm going to try to be a "good" hockey mom and not kill the first child who tries to hurt my baby. Okay, I won't hurt any other kids...it's just really hard hoping and praying that my little guys are really grown up enough to deal with all this. And that I'm grown up enough too.

I guess I'll have to kiss a few frogs before Prince Charming comes along, and haul a few hockey bags.