Still tired as hell and not sure why. I think when I returned I got a cold or something? Or maybe it's because the baby is up all the time. Off to a walk-in clinic and maybe I'll feel better after he feels better.
There are a dozen things I'd like to blog about, especially the Nanny Series the Star is running right now. I'm glad the province is going to legislate the agencies--but that really won't solve the problems inherent in the system. I mean, for pete's sake, why are nannies forced to live with the employers? Why isn't it a choice? And why does it take two friggin' years to sponsor a nanny you've never met? What if she arrives and doesn't like you, or you don't like her? And it takes months to get a permit when a nanny does want to change jobs. Why? It takes one hour to fill out all the forms and two years for a civil servant to read? WTF? And for infertile women like me, who have gone through multiple losses, asking me to sponsor a nanny ages before I even get pregnant or have a live baby is not just stupid, it's cruel. (Same for parents who are trying to adopt or foster, btw.) What was I supposed to do, apply every month for a nanny and when I get my period or have another miscarriage I call up and cancel? And then apply again the next day? Over and over and over again every month for years? At nine months I still needed therapy to buy a pack of diapers, never mind hire a nanny....I remember contemplating a nanny, and thank God we were able to find someone who I didn't have to sponsor. After that high-risk delivery I was incapable of taking care of the baby alone and I needed a caregiver for myself, not just a baby nurse.
What do people do who experience sudden disability or have a stroke or need eldercare or lose a daycare spot do because their daycare shuts down? Quit their jobs? I guess the federal government thinks they should be screwed, huh?
Here's an idea. Let the nannies apply to Immigration as certified caregivers, and arrive in whatever numbers that arrive. We know that all of them will be hired instantly because we have such a huge need due for eldercare and childcare. HRDC has documented it. Then have employers apply to immigration as certified employers and let them hire whoever they want, whenever they want. They just let the government know when they get matched up and go from there. And no one has to live with anyone if they don't want to. Simple.
Next question: Why is it that after a nanny has worked for two years as a live-in caregiver, and should be automatically eligible for citizenship, then why does it take another two years to get landed immigrant status? And cost $900? They have already passed security and health checks, etc. the first time they entered. They fulfilled all their obligations, for fuck's sake. It should be instant. Fix all that slow as molasses bureaucratic mess, and you fix all the issues. As for the media coverage, some of the objections that have come up in the comments of the articles on the Star are pretty stupid as side issues go. There are almost no Canadians born here* willing to work as nannies, regardless of how much you offer to pay, so no, I really wish all the anti-immigrant right wing nutbars would STFU about how we should be keeping jobs at home. Face it, white Canadians like me are lazy and overprivileged and won't work as caregivers. I'm just willing to admit it. ;) HRDC is a lot more polite about it, but who is kidding who people? If we were willing to change diapers for a living, then there would be applicants for jobs. As it is, there are none. The other strange thing is the comments from people who don't like anyone hiring nannies, white or foreign at all, because they think that anyone with a nanny is a Forest Hill snob. Umm, not quite. I remember thinking that and feeling a bit odd about it until I got used to the idea, but it really can be a good solution for some people. In Canada, excepting Quebec, daycare spots are as scarce as hen's teeth and if you can get one, it's incredibly expensive for anyone with more than one child. Plus, schlepping more than one kid to a daycare is difficult at best. In the rain or the snow? In a rural area or for anyone with a long commute? On a day when the kid is sick and you pray that the damn daycare won't turn you away? And some of us have no relatives, or relatives that are too old and disabled to look after young kids, or some of us have moms who are young enough to still have jobs and work for a living and can't work for free and watch our kids.
Lots of families use nannies to help with big families. Some have money, lots don't. Some have made a philosophical choice, some have medically fragile children who cannot go to daycare. Some have extended family like an older relative who needs care in the same house as young children.
It's just life--now if only the government would help people instead of screwing up the system so much. Sigh....
As you can see from this long extended rant, I need to get some more professional intellectual stimulation. I wasn't going to write, and then I did. I am behind on posting and commenting and reading. Not good. I keep writing and rewriting this post, and my brain has lots to get out. But writing in the house is hard because the baby is taking up my attention. Or my older son wants to know what a "period" is and I had to turn red while explaining. Or Mac wants to show me his latest Bionicle creation. And I am running my ass off because I have to run this house on my own while my husband goes off and has brilliant conversations with intelligent people and I am stuck---here. Blogging is great, but I need to get out of this house, and speak to real people in person.
I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I need something else. Maybe someone can hire me to fix the government, hmmm? Unlikely. They like it being a big goddamn disaster.
*with the exception of one commenter on my blog, and one woman I've met personally, I've only met foreign born nannies in 13 years of parenting, really.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
All Clear--and now for the rest of my life
The results of Mr.C's CT scan came back all clear, and quite awesome. Totally, utterly completely clear in fact. The pulmonologist now subscribes to my theory of the drippy bits of goo from someone's danish screwing up the x-ray film. They had the results last Tuesday, and left a message on the home answering machine, but of course, the dingbat receptionist said they did NOT have the results when he called on his cellphone Wednesday and said, hey, as soon as you know the results, can you call my CELLPHONE right away because we are away and don't want to be in suspense for our entire vacation.
He found out late yesterday afternoon, and yes, we did spend the entire vacation in suspense!
Sigh....the things I would change if I was in charge of the universe....
Anyway, the vacation was lovely, except for how much I missed you all because of the problems with getting on the internet. I could do it on the iPod touch, but only the basics, like checking emails, and attempting to get some updates here and there on Facebook, etc. and I wanted to be outside instead of inside at the internet cafe. As you know from my cottage vacation dial-up debacles, in my mind, a vacation just isn't a vacation if you have to disconnect from all of your friends! I'm hoping that by the time that I go away again, Rogers will have amended their incredibly fucked up non-existent international data plans for phones and blackberries. It's kind of embarassing when you go places and discover that the poorest citizens in your vacation country have better cellphone plans than you do.
Interesting things about the Mayan Riviera? They have what I swear is the largest Walmart in the history of Walmarts. With every kind and brand of baby item in the known universe. I really did not have to bring anything down except for things for the plane, and to be honest, I kind of would love it if they had a rental place for that kind of stuff when travelling! There is a rental place in Puerto Vallarta, but not one in Cancun and area...Good news is that we were able to get lots of baby food and he liked the buffet stuff as well so he had lots of finger food in between swims and stroller rides.
All in all, it was a great time. Mr.C. and Kaz got to go scuba diving and I got to sit and sun myself while the baby was at the Babyclub. (That almost didn't happen--eeek, thank god Jackie got it in writing for me that they would take him at his age!) Mac loved the kid's club and once he got into it and started hanging out, he pretty much refused to leave.
I have more to say, but once again, I am behind the eight ball. Dinner, hockey, tutors, bill-paying, and figuring out why Kaz's report card is so horrendous. He got a B- in religion! The bird course of the century for pete's sake. All he had to do was memorize the sacraments and other basic stuff. I know he is bored, and hates even paying attention to the easy stuff, but flunking out because you like to doodle on the side of the page is not the answer.
I have to get him a little more engaged with the school. Or make the school do something less brain-deadening with him....
He found out late yesterday afternoon, and yes, we did spend the entire vacation in suspense!
Sigh....the things I would change if I was in charge of the universe....
Anyway, the vacation was lovely, except for how much I missed you all because of the problems with getting on the internet. I could do it on the iPod touch, but only the basics, like checking emails, and attempting to get some updates here and there on Facebook, etc. and I wanted to be outside instead of inside at the internet cafe. As you know from my cottage vacation dial-up debacles, in my mind, a vacation just isn't a vacation if you have to disconnect from all of your friends! I'm hoping that by the time that I go away again, Rogers will have amended their incredibly fucked up non-existent international data plans for phones and blackberries. It's kind of embarassing when you go places and discover that the poorest citizens in your vacation country have better cellphone plans than you do.
Interesting things about the Mayan Riviera? They have what I swear is the largest Walmart in the history of Walmarts. With every kind and brand of baby item in the known universe. I really did not have to bring anything down except for things for the plane, and to be honest, I kind of would love it if they had a rental place for that kind of stuff when travelling! There is a rental place in Puerto Vallarta, but not one in Cancun and area...Good news is that we were able to get lots of baby food and he liked the buffet stuff as well so he had lots of finger food in between swims and stroller rides.
All in all, it was a great time. Mr.C. and Kaz got to go scuba diving and I got to sit and sun myself while the baby was at the Babyclub. (That almost didn't happen--eeek, thank god Jackie got it in writing for me that they would take him at his age!) Mac loved the kid's club and once he got into it and started hanging out, he pretty much refused to leave.
I have more to say, but once again, I am behind the eight ball. Dinner, hockey, tutors, bill-paying, and figuring out why Kaz's report card is so horrendous. He got a B- in religion! The bird course of the century for pete's sake. All he had to do was memorize the sacraments and other basic stuff. I know he is bored, and hates even paying attention to the easy stuff, but flunking out because you like to doodle on the side of the page is not the answer.
I have to get him a little more engaged with the school. Or make the school do something less brain-deadening with him....
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Vacation suspense
Thank you thank you thank you for all your good stories and wishes and prayers. They really do help!
Mr.C. had his CT scan and because the tech was completely obscure....we know nothing. We leave Sunday and we'll have to get our news when we get back.
Now my theory, based on my many medical adventures is that they don't let you leave if they see something really bad. I know that isn't always true, but for me it generally is. Anytime they have let me leave and something was wrong, they have made it crystal clear that something is wrong and sent me to see a Doctor ASAP.
And nothing like that happened to him. The radiologist was there, and didn't even ask for some extra views or shots. They even let him leave early! Which tells me that either it's the tiniest teeniest thing on earth, or it WAS a drip of icing from a pastry on the X-ray.
And that's the story I'm sticking with. Sadly, my husband is not so convinced and keeps making morbid jokes about lung cancer and dying young, etc....I think he is going to have a tough time having fun this week.
My big hope is that the radiologist clears the report fast and his Doctor calls and gives him good news by cellphone Monday morning. (Yes, we will have blackberries and an iPod touch and I will be checking email and twitter and Facebook sporadically, he needs to stay plugged in for his brother and work, and I just love being on the net!)
Can I tell you all a secret? You know I don't swim well, and so you can guess that I won't be in the ocean. Well, this will be very different than a cottage because someone else will be doing laundry and cooking and dealing with dirty towels so there's that. But I'm not really a fan of lying down and doing nothing either. I last about a half hour on a beach chair and then I get twitchy to go see a show or go on a tour bus or go shopping or learn all about some ancient city nearby. Or just run up and start talking to random strangers!
Mr.C. meanwhile does not want to move from the beach---ever. He might go to the sports bar for March Madness, but he doesn't want to do anything. Hmmm
What about all of you? Are you like chillin' and relaxing types or more like me, activity types?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Help
Not sure what to do, or what to think here, any and all assvice and or reassurance is welcome.
My husband recently went for a new sleep study for his sleep apnea, so he could get a new CPAP machine to replace his old one. The CPAP has been a miracle for us and really stops his horrendously loud snoring and helps him get a good solid sleep. ( And me too let's be honest...)
Well, he needed a series of x-rays for it along with the other tests. And they found something in the x-rays.
A spot on his lung. 1 cm square.
And what with his history as a smoker for over 20 years, I'm kind of freaking out. (He started when he was 12, like most kids in Quebec at the time, it was just the way. He finally quit several years ago after many attempts. Hardest thing he has ever done, poor man.)
He is going for a CT scan tomorrow,* because it might be something else like scar tissue from an old infection, or some weird thing. Thing is, we won't get results until we get back from vacation, unless they see some bizarre thing on the CT and make him stay there, but I doubt that. Anything bigger they would have found on the x-rays.
But still losing my mind here. Vomiting with fear in fact. And everything I've found on the web, involves the horrible norm, a person who can't breathe well, gets an x-ray, and discovers advanced incurable lung cancer. Meanwhile, my husband is the rare exception, the person who gets a routine x-ray and discovers something.
So if any of you know of any good stories about lung cancer survival I really need to hear them. I already have found zillions of sad stories, but not many good ones.
If you know nothing good, then just do me a favor and pray that the fucking x-ray spot was a spot on someone's glasses, or a drip of jam from a danish, K?
If you smoke, quit. If you have already quit, get annual lung x-rays.
Did you know that no one had ever heard of lung cancer prior to smoking? No joke...there are no recorded cases of lung cancer in the history of medicine until smoking began.
About to become the world's most vicious anti-smoking campaigner btw.....something about three small children who might grow up without their father is kind of motivating me.
CT is at 3:30 Friday.
*Funny story: Mr.C. assumes he needs to go to Buffalo and pay for his CT/MRI and guess what? Nope, once again, he gets it right away for free, cause he has a serious medical need. They would have done them both sooner, but we're away next week, drinking, and living in denial.....
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Obsessions
I have become addicted to TripAdvisor and all the unofficial websites for my resort, and every baby travel website out there. Plus the airline and government websites and things like Seatguru that analyzes exactly which seats are good and bad and in between.
Seriously, OCD me has googled until her hands are broken. I found almost all of the sites on the entire internet. Am a control freak my peeps.
Wee Travel Baby Equipment across Canada & her blog Wee Travel - also has links for many other cities all around the world for renting baby equipment at resorts or business trips or when seeing family.
Travels with Baby is a great blog by a lovely mom who has also written a book, with all her amazing travel tips. Lots of links there to lots of resources.
Family of Five Vacations - seriously driving me nuts that anyone who isn't Mom, Dad, and 2 kids over 5 and under 12 is pretty much SOL for vacations, and this site has an entire list of vacation destinations that cater to large families and groups that don't fit the traditional mold. They also have a list of places that have baby clubs and kids clubs and the ages they cater to. Parents of multiples and blended families take note! Someday you will have money again and want to travel somewhere and this site could help!
The Travel Stop - great Toronto store for things for your trip.
These dumb rules about liquids are making me crazy, I must admit. I have a friend who works in a rather shall-we-say "secure type" area, and he has repeatedly laughed his ass off at this set of rules. All of the really threatening people are suicide bombers---so even if we all got onto planes naked and carrying not one thing and starved and dehydrated ourselves---we'd still be at risk from the guys who would just swallow a timer and implants made of Semtex and rub their bits together.
The key to preventing terrorism on planes is the same as any crime prevention. We need to watch out for each other and take care of each other and get to know our neighbors, whether on a plane or a street or a park. We need to be brave enough to get involved and tell someone when we see something suspicious and we sure as hell can't just leave it all up to the government and pretend it's all about whether or not we accidentally put a 4 ounce bottle in our carry-on as opposed to a 3.4 ounce.
Serious eyerolling here---we drive boring ol' people like me up a wall with this, but we still to this day have never secured the rear entrances of airports properly. I can't wear a decent nursing bra because of the metal detectors, but anyone with a pulse can wander onto a loading dock after jumping a fence near the 401.
Why yes, my government is run by a bunch of morons, did you assume otherwise?
Anyway, I have bought all of my mandatory teeny bottles of stuff and am just organizing medication lists and baby supplies, and I will be a good little Canadian and submit to the mandatory virtual colonoscopy aka security inspection all of the law-abiding citizens have to endure.....but I will still insist that it is stupid as shit!
Funny thing about the baby supplies. I never really thought about all the stuff I'd have to bring besides the car seat, but it turns out that I am going to have to do a WalMart run when I arrive. Baby food is not sold or provided at the resort of course, and shipping it involves potential breakage and customs thingies and weight overloads. They have Gerber and other major brands so I'm hoping it will all work out. Diapers are expensive at the resort, so either I bring those and wipes and a bunch of other things, or just pray and hope I can fit it all in. Our Pack and Play weighs 3000 pounds so I'm thinking about buying or renting a lighter one like the new Phil and Ted's portable foldable 8 pounder. (Too expensive for a new one I will rarely use, am thinking about Craigslist?) My very lovely sweet friend loaned me her Quinny Zapp travel stroller; which also happens to work well on beach sand and yet fold tiny! I love my bugaboo but the risk of it being crushed by a stupid airline accident, i-yi-yi. No.
I am busy buying the kids clothes that fit and shoes and I've scheduled a hair cut and color. I'm going for a wax and manicure/pedicure this week. I bought some new lightweight luggage, enough for all of us to be able to pack! I even got another friend to loan me her old iPod Touch so I can surf without risking a $1000 bill from stupid Rogers for international data roaming or risking my laptop getting stolen.
I just haven't bought myself any clothes. No bathing suits. I have some old shorts and tops and things that fit. But except for sandals & water shoes, nothing so far. Mostly because I haven't lost as much weight as I'd like. And what I have lost, hasn't come off of my stomach. My face and back and legs and arms are skinnier, but I think that the slacker muscles are not going to suddenly tighten up prior to my trip. I am out of proportion, you know?
Which means I am really really going to look four or five months pregnant, unless I wear a bathing suit with German engineering so tight, it's like a girdle. Never mind the lifting of sagging things I'll need! Not very comfortable on a beach....
I am trying not to care, but as we've discussed, I am vain. I try to transcend it and be better and even kinder to myself. But in the end, I am obsessed.....
So any more travel advice, tips, ideas, thoughts, offers of free instant painless plastic surgery?
Seriously, OCD me has googled until her hands are broken. I found almost all of the sites on the entire internet. Am a control freak my peeps.
Wee Travel Baby Equipment across Canada & her blog Wee Travel - also has links for many other cities all around the world for renting baby equipment at resorts or business trips or when seeing family.
Travels with Baby is a great blog by a lovely mom who has also written a book, with all her amazing travel tips. Lots of links there to lots of resources.
Family of Five Vacations - seriously driving me nuts that anyone who isn't Mom, Dad, and 2 kids over 5 and under 12 is pretty much SOL for vacations, and this site has an entire list of vacation destinations that cater to large families and groups that don't fit the traditional mold. They also have a list of places that have baby clubs and kids clubs and the ages they cater to. Parents of multiples and blended families take note! Someday you will have money again and want to travel somewhere and this site could help!
The Travel Stop - great Toronto store for things for your trip.
These dumb rules about liquids are making me crazy, I must admit. I have a friend who works in a rather shall-we-say "secure type" area, and he has repeatedly laughed his ass off at this set of rules. All of the really threatening people are suicide bombers---so even if we all got onto planes naked and carrying not one thing and starved and dehydrated ourselves---we'd still be at risk from the guys who would just swallow a timer and implants made of Semtex and rub their bits together.
The key to preventing terrorism on planes is the same as any crime prevention. We need to watch out for each other and take care of each other and get to know our neighbors, whether on a plane or a street or a park. We need to be brave enough to get involved and tell someone when we see something suspicious and we sure as hell can't just leave it all up to the government and pretend it's all about whether or not we accidentally put a 4 ounce bottle in our carry-on as opposed to a 3.4 ounce.
Serious eyerolling here---we drive boring ol' people like me up a wall with this, but we still to this day have never secured the rear entrances of airports properly. I can't wear a decent nursing bra because of the metal detectors, but anyone with a pulse can wander onto a loading dock after jumping a fence near the 401.
Why yes, my government is run by a bunch of morons, did you assume otherwise?
Anyway, I have bought all of my mandatory teeny bottles of stuff and am just organizing medication lists and baby supplies, and I will be a good little Canadian and submit to the mandatory virtual colonoscopy aka security inspection all of the law-abiding citizens have to endure.....but I will still insist that it is stupid as shit!
Funny thing about the baby supplies. I never really thought about all the stuff I'd have to bring besides the car seat, but it turns out that I am going to have to do a WalMart run when I arrive. Baby food is not sold or provided at the resort of course, and shipping it involves potential breakage and customs thingies and weight overloads. They have Gerber and other major brands so I'm hoping it will all work out. Diapers are expensive at the resort, so either I bring those and wipes and a bunch of other things, or just pray and hope I can fit it all in. Our Pack and Play weighs 3000 pounds so I'm thinking about buying or renting a lighter one like the new Phil and Ted's portable foldable 8 pounder. (Too expensive for a new one I will rarely use, am thinking about Craigslist?) My very lovely sweet friend loaned me her Quinny Zapp travel stroller; which also happens to work well on beach sand and yet fold tiny! I love my bugaboo but the risk of it being crushed by a stupid airline accident, i-yi-yi. No.
I am busy buying the kids clothes that fit and shoes and I've scheduled a hair cut and color. I'm going for a wax and manicure/pedicure this week. I bought some new lightweight luggage, enough for all of us to be able to pack! I even got another friend to loan me her old iPod Touch so I can surf without risking a $1000 bill from stupid Rogers for international data roaming or risking my laptop getting stolen.
I just haven't bought myself any clothes. No bathing suits. I have some old shorts and tops and things that fit. But except for sandals & water shoes, nothing so far. Mostly because I haven't lost as much weight as I'd like. And what I have lost, hasn't come off of my stomach. My face and back and legs and arms are skinnier, but I think that the slacker muscles are not going to suddenly tighten up prior to my trip. I am out of proportion, you know?
Which means I am really really going to look four or five months pregnant, unless I wear a bathing suit with German engineering so tight, it's like a girdle. Never mind the lifting of sagging things I'll need! Not very comfortable on a beach....
I am trying not to care, but as we've discussed, I am vain. I try to transcend it and be better and even kinder to myself. But in the end, I am obsessed.....
So any more travel advice, tips, ideas, thoughts, offers of free instant painless plastic surgery?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Yawn....
Am very tired now and amazed I got home. Always take a cab, even if your close friend says he'll give you a ride home, because even stone cold sober he might just be the world's worst driver! Wow--who knew?
Sigh...anyway I chatted with many nice people and had too many martinis with funky names. Am going to regret this when I try on bathing suits and shorts next week. I want to go away but I kind of wish I had another week to lose weight and get organized.
So I chatted with various staffers about the foster kids who died in care, (h/t Jade) and the various issues I get het up about like why aren't there any former foster kids or adoptees or birth parents on ANY Children's Aid Board of Directors in the province...and we'll see what happens with that.
Maybe nothing, but eh, can't hurt to moan about it can it, right?
I also introduced my lovely friends who gave me a ticket tonight to a whole load of cabinet ministers and staffers but sadly they left before I could really get them drinking and enjoying. Oh well...you know I always find it strange that people think you need money to have access. Meanwhile the most influential people I know are all just plain old volunteers who show up to knock on doors. Sure, maybe when the politician is Obama, but even he had a local campaign at one point, right?
So real people must have met him way back when, right?
Am going to try and digest the extremely over done well done tenderloin now. Oy. Blech.
Yawn.......
Sigh...anyway I chatted with many nice people and had too many martinis with funky names. Am going to regret this when I try on bathing suits and shorts next week. I want to go away but I kind of wish I had another week to lose weight and get organized.
So I chatted with various staffers about the foster kids who died in care, (h/t Jade) and the various issues I get het up about like why aren't there any former foster kids or adoptees or birth parents on ANY Children's Aid Board of Directors in the province...and we'll see what happens with that.
Maybe nothing, but eh, can't hurt to moan about it can it, right?
I also introduced my lovely friends who gave me a ticket tonight to a whole load of cabinet ministers and staffers but sadly they left before I could really get them drinking and enjoying. Oh well...you know I always find it strange that people think you need money to have access. Meanwhile the most influential people I know are all just plain old volunteers who show up to knock on doors. Sure, maybe when the politician is Obama, but even he had a local campaign at one point, right?
So real people must have met him way back when, right?
Am going to try and digest the extremely over done well done tenderloin now. Oy. Blech.
Yawn.......
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Speeches and dinners
I'm at the Ontario Liberal Party Heritage dinner tonight and laughing and have a great time.
Isn't getting the right hormone balance just the best fucking medicine EVAH?? Feel like six million bucks today dudes.
Did you know that the recession is almost over? Seriously, the bull is back, the bear is dead. The layoffs will unfortunately continue, but the market has hit bottom and things will only go up from here.
I know this....really.
Remember when I yipped on and on about the credit crisis and you all didn't know WTF crazy Aurelia was going on about? I was right, and bad shit happened.
Well take some hope my friends. It's time to think positive and it's not just the estrogen talking my peeps.
So on the dinner:
Dalton has some good jokes tonight as always. Very dry wit. Stupid me cannot follow the french bits. He has the hope meme down pat, and is working the inspiration hard.
It's good---I'm a fan of helping the poor and education spendng etc.
Okay, ten minutes in, I am distracted and want to know when dinner is served. Sorry Dalton baby, time to sit down! I'm hungry!
More later....
Isn't getting the right hormone balance just the best fucking medicine EVAH?? Feel like six million bucks today dudes.
Did you know that the recession is almost over? Seriously, the bull is back, the bear is dead. The layoffs will unfortunately continue, but the market has hit bottom and things will only go up from here.
I know this....really.
Remember when I yipped on and on about the credit crisis and you all didn't know WTF crazy Aurelia was going on about? I was right, and bad shit happened.
Well take some hope my friends. It's time to think positive and it's not just the estrogen talking my peeps.
So on the dinner:
Dalton has some good jokes tonight as always. Very dry wit. Stupid me cannot follow the french bits. He has the hope meme down pat, and is working the inspiration hard.
It's good---I'm a fan of helping the poor and education spendng etc.
Okay, ten minutes in, I am distracted and want to know when dinner is served. Sorry Dalton baby, time to sit down! I'm hungry!
More later....
Saturday, March 07, 2009
A-S-S-U-M-E
Did you ever hear the old saying, when you A-S-S-U-M-E you make an 'ASS' out of 'U' and 'ME'? Yeah, I'm sure you have. Trouble is, lots of people still do it.
Like a now deleted commenter on my previous post, who is not a regular reader, but came here, because of a tweet I did. He thinks that I, and I guess--anyone who disagrees with Mayor David Miller of Toronto is arrogant, asinine, illogical, and what was the other one? Oh yeah, negative.
He assumed that because my current form of birth control is not working and making me feel shitty and depressed that therefore, I am not allowed to comment on politics. That somehow, my brain no longer works. You know, the been-there-done-that hysterical hormonal women theme? Just because I hated David Miller.
Well, to clear up a few things---I feel much better now. A different pill and a nice estrogen boost and I'm much happier.
I still hate David Miller though. Always have, always will. Our current high pretentious dipshit Mayor frankly does a terrible job. I can proudly say that I have never ever voted for him. Not when he was a councillor, and not either time he ran for mayor. I know a lot of people who voted for him and are deeply ashamed of that fact and would give anything to take it back. I don't feel bad for them though.
You see, my brain, and my ability to assess someone's character still work just friggin fine even though I have some hormonal swings. They work fine even when I am depressed and they work just friggin fine when I am filled with joy. And even if they didn't work fine---guess what?
In Canada, there is no test for mental fitness to be a citizen or a voter or a commentator on political life. And politicians have an obligation to listen to me and to represent the mentally unwell's INTERESTS just as much as they have to represent the perfect white upstanding mentally balanced Bay Street lawyer in a suit.
I am equal to everyone else anywhere in this country. When I am medicated, when I am unmedicated, when I dress nice, when I don't, when my IQ is 60 or when it is 160, when I am male or when I am female, when I am in a wheelchair or striding down a street, when I am angry or happy or sad or suicidal or jumping for joy. No matter what is happening in my life, we never lose our right to free speech, or our right to tell a politician to FUCK RIGHT OFF BECAUSE HE SUCKS AT HIS JOB.
You see, this weekend, there is some sort of celebration going on about Toronto's 175th Birthday. No one really knows, because there has been almost no publicity about it, and really, no news coverage. It's that boring. Plus, in this economy, c'mon, if you are going to do something to draw in tourists, make it more fun than root canal. So, in light of the fact that his endless tweets about this boring drivel thing were making me want to stick a fork in my eye---I said so.
I could put up with it if we weren't facing total economic collapse in this city as a direct result of his incompetent leadership, but this guy really has no right to ever leave his desk at this point, much less tweet about it. Toronto has been teetering on the brink of budget collapse for years now all through the boom and he has done nothing. He was going to cut the out of control police budget and spend some money on crime prevention. Instead---he has spent over $400 million hiring new cops and every time the police ask for money, he's their go to guy. Cops now represent over 50% of the city budget when we are in a nationwide crime decline, but he says yes whenever they start some big freak out about gangs and guns. Considering today's headlines, you'd think he'd reconsider, but I'm not holding my breath.
Our streets are a disaster because he refuses to coordinate the private contractors and public road repair crews so that all of them work together at once. Instead they just randomly wander all over town ripping up streets and digging, one year for gas pipes, next year for water, six months later for hydro, a year later for high speed DSL repair. Nevermind that they could just plan it out and do it right all at once in such a way that people could walk, bike and drive around this city without losing their minds from potholes and construction debris. Then again, the city unions we have might object to actually working!
(And before anyone says it--I'm a union woman. I've been a member and I've organized and guess what? I want a good wage and benefits, but I also expect to work productively....I have zero respect for people who think union means they get to sit on their ass and only do their minimum quota, so don't even bother.)
But the thing I really hate about him the most is a problem that relates to my favourite subject. Health, specifically children's health. There are thousands of homes in Toronto that are contaminated with lead intake pipes, and now have lead in the water. Both from city pipes running down streets and pipes leading into houses. (The report has the nerve to use the term "acceptable levels of lead"; umm, no, there is no acceptable level of lead. None.) I already knew about this because before we bought this house I checked to make sure that the street pipe had been replaced, and when I discovered our intake pipe had lead, I paid to have it replaced. It cost a mint, but having struggled with learning problems, no way was I ever going to risk my babies having more problems because of some easy to fix water problem!
Years ago when we did it, during Miller's first term, the guy at the city had actually tried to convince me not to have it done, because "the crud on the inside of the pipe will protect you from the lead." Ummmmm, yah.
And who will protect me from the crud?
Not to mention the bacteria hidden IN the crud?
Anyway, you'd think that knowing that water is a basic human right, and that lead destroys children's brains and adult's body parts like kidneys and livers, that replacing these pipes would be his number one priority, his sine qua none, his reason for working round the clock, his budget centerpiece.
Not so much.
In fact, on his watch, the money that was supposed to be spent fixing the lead pipes was spent on a deep water cooling system for the downtown office buildings instead. Privately owned downtown office buildings, which get their air conditioning from Toronto Hydro, a separately financed entity, which could easily afford to finance the cooling operation without a dime of city water money.
David Miller and his cronies took the money that the taxpayers gave them to save us from lead poisoning, and they used it to install discount air conditioning for rich white dudes on Bay Street.
So was I hormonal when I tweeted? Sure...but I was still right, dead on.
Like a now deleted commenter on my previous post, who is not a regular reader, but came here, because of a tweet I did. He thinks that I, and I guess--anyone who disagrees with Mayor David Miller of Toronto is arrogant, asinine, illogical, and what was the other one? Oh yeah, negative.
He assumed that because my current form of birth control is not working and making me feel shitty and depressed that therefore, I am not allowed to comment on politics. That somehow, my brain no longer works. You know, the been-there-done-that hysterical hormonal women theme? Just because I hated David Miller.
Well, to clear up a few things---I feel much better now. A different pill and a nice estrogen boost and I'm much happier.
I still hate David Miller though. Always have, always will. Our current high pretentious dipshit Mayor frankly does a terrible job. I can proudly say that I have never ever voted for him. Not when he was a councillor, and not either time he ran for mayor. I know a lot of people who voted for him and are deeply ashamed of that fact and would give anything to take it back. I don't feel bad for them though.
You see, my brain, and my ability to assess someone's character still work just friggin fine even though I have some hormonal swings. They work fine even when I am depressed and they work just friggin fine when I am filled with joy. And even if they didn't work fine---guess what?
In Canada, there is no test for mental fitness to be a citizen or a voter or a commentator on political life. And politicians have an obligation to listen to me and to represent the mentally unwell's INTERESTS just as much as they have to represent the perfect white upstanding mentally balanced Bay Street lawyer in a suit.
I am equal to everyone else anywhere in this country. When I am medicated, when I am unmedicated, when I dress nice, when I don't, when my IQ is 60 or when it is 160, when I am male or when I am female, when I am in a wheelchair or striding down a street, when I am angry or happy or sad or suicidal or jumping for joy. No matter what is happening in my life, we never lose our right to free speech, or our right to tell a politician to FUCK RIGHT OFF BECAUSE HE SUCKS AT HIS JOB.
You see, this weekend, there is some sort of celebration going on about Toronto's 175th Birthday. No one really knows, because there has been almost no publicity about it, and really, no news coverage. It's that boring. Plus, in this economy, c'mon, if you are going to do something to draw in tourists, make it more fun than root canal. So, in light of the fact that his endless tweets about this boring drivel thing were making me want to stick a fork in my eye---I said so.
I could put up with it if we weren't facing total economic collapse in this city as a direct result of his incompetent leadership, but this guy really has no right to ever leave his desk at this point, much less tweet about it. Toronto has been teetering on the brink of budget collapse for years now all through the boom and he has done nothing. He was going to cut the out of control police budget and spend some money on crime prevention. Instead---he has spent over $400 million hiring new cops and every time the police ask for money, he's their go to guy. Cops now represent over 50% of the city budget when we are in a nationwide crime decline, but he says yes whenever they start some big freak out about gangs and guns. Considering today's headlines, you'd think he'd reconsider, but I'm not holding my breath.
Our streets are a disaster because he refuses to coordinate the private contractors and public road repair crews so that all of them work together at once. Instead they just randomly wander all over town ripping up streets and digging, one year for gas pipes, next year for water, six months later for hydro, a year later for high speed DSL repair. Nevermind that they could just plan it out and do it right all at once in such a way that people could walk, bike and drive around this city without losing their minds from potholes and construction debris. Then again, the city unions we have might object to actually working!
(And before anyone says it--I'm a union woman. I've been a member and I've organized and guess what? I want a good wage and benefits, but I also expect to work productively....I have zero respect for people who think union means they get to sit on their ass and only do their minimum quota, so don't even bother.)
But the thing I really hate about him the most is a problem that relates to my favourite subject. Health, specifically children's health. There are thousands of homes in Toronto that are contaminated with lead intake pipes, and now have lead in the water. Both from city pipes running down streets and pipes leading into houses. (The report has the nerve to use the term "acceptable levels of lead"; umm, no, there is no acceptable level of lead. None.) I already knew about this because before we bought this house I checked to make sure that the street pipe had been replaced, and when I discovered our intake pipe had lead, I paid to have it replaced. It cost a mint, but having struggled with learning problems, no way was I ever going to risk my babies having more problems because of some easy to fix water problem!
Years ago when we did it, during Miller's first term, the guy at the city had actually tried to convince me not to have it done, because "the crud on the inside of the pipe will protect you from the lead." Ummmmm, yah.
And who will protect me from the crud?
Not to mention the bacteria hidden IN the crud?
Anyway, you'd think that knowing that water is a basic human right, and that lead destroys children's brains and adult's body parts like kidneys and livers, that replacing these pipes would be his number one priority, his sine qua none, his reason for working round the clock, his budget centerpiece.
Not so much.
In fact, on his watch, the money that was supposed to be spent fixing the lead pipes was spent on a deep water cooling system for the downtown office buildings instead. Privately owned downtown office buildings, which get their air conditioning from Toronto Hydro, a separately financed entity, which could easily afford to finance the cooling operation without a dime of city water money.
David Miller and his cronies took the money that the taxpayers gave them to save us from lead poisoning, and they used it to install discount air conditioning for rich white dudes on Bay Street.
So was I hormonal when I tweeted? Sure...but I was still right, dead on.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Marvelon not so fucking marvelous
Broke down last night convinced everything was shit, and cried all night. My husband clueless----I decided to google all the medication I was on.
Guess what? Marvelon, my new birth control pill is reputed to cause hormonal hell and depression and other nasty side effects more than other birth control pills. Lovely. I knew I was feeling odd but I figured that as long as the bleeding stopped, I should not complain. I am trying a different pill as of today, one with another type of progesterone, a type I have had before and don't remember causing me to become a psycho.
Dr.Google saves the day again.
Now if I can just hold off the pit of despair while my body switches onto the new one.....
Hanging on for dear life here.....
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Slightly Better--Almost
I think you are all right. February sucks and we need this damn vacation more than anyone we know needs a vacation. I am grumpy, Mr.Cotta is grumpy, the kids are touchy, our relatives and friends are all touchy and pissed off. I know it's the economy too, but the february blahs, plus a bad economy really makes it a special kind of suckage.
We are attempting better moods. Sort of.
So feckin tired of wrestling with older kids emotionally and babies having such fear of strangers that they stick like glue. I love holding Julius, but five minutes to pee and change my clothes would be nice as well. (I have now mastered the internet, blackberries, and eating while holding ol' cling wrap baby, just not the toilet.)
And no he won't go to the nanny either. He used to love her to pieces, but now he freaks and only wants me. Which just goes to show that babies still know their moms and attach to them even if they have a nanny right from early on! Heh
I was joking with her though that her day will come soon. I figure in a couple of weeks he'll hate me and love her, and no I won't be upset, it's just a normal phase. But damn I'm already thinking about all the things I'm going to get done!!
Speaking of which, we have very little time before we leave for vacation, and there are too many things to do!!!!!
Any assvice for me about travelling with babies in a post 9/11 world? Any product ideas? He has his own seat, but we haven't done anything else.
Any thoughts?
We are attempting better moods. Sort of.
So feckin tired of wrestling with older kids emotionally and babies having such fear of strangers that they stick like glue. I love holding Julius, but five minutes to pee and change my clothes would be nice as well. (I have now mastered the internet, blackberries, and eating while holding ol' cling wrap baby, just not the toilet.)
And no he won't go to the nanny either. He used to love her to pieces, but now he freaks and only wants me. Which just goes to show that babies still know their moms and attach to them even if they have a nanny right from early on! Heh
I was joking with her though that her day will come soon. I figure in a couple of weeks he'll hate me and love her, and no I won't be upset, it's just a normal phase. But damn I'm already thinking about all the things I'm going to get done!!
Speaking of which, we have very little time before we leave for vacation, and there are too many things to do!!!!!
Any assvice for me about travelling with babies in a post 9/11 world? Any product ideas? He has his own seat, but we haven't done anything else.
Any thoughts?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Not sure what the hell?
Did you ever have someone get furiously angry at you, out of nowhere, with absolutely no explanation?
And no matter what you said, or how many external other factors are involved, they just blame you and yell and freak out?
Yeah, my Friday in a nutshell.
I thought we were having a good week in this house what with the vacation being booked and all, but between my husband and each one of my kids getting upset this week----and my head injury---I'm hoping March will be better than friggin' February!
My mood has to get better. And everyone else's. Sun and fun and vacation will help.
Right?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
You are good for me, now unsubscribe
*Update below*
You give me perspective.
I remember to feel grateful for what I have, and not just what I lack.
When people starting moaning about how poor they are because their portfolio dropped 37%; and really they aren't poor because they actually HAVE a fucking portfolio and they are moaning from a position of privilege, you write and remind me of Darfur or just the average kind of desperation that we real people struggle with.
And I shut my mouth.
I was at a fundraising meeting tonight and I was actually gone from my baby for an entire 3 hours. And when my husband emailed me on the berry trying to trasmit intense guilt about the lack of nannies and frozen breastmilk I totally rolled my eyes, because I actually was not worried. 25 tonnes of gourmet homemade baby food and twelve boxes of cereal means that life is not so bad peeps. The babe will make it.
(Google thinks that the correct spelling for breastmilk is buttermilk; am peeing with laughter *nevermind* *stupid aside* Sadly they also think that the correct spelling of Darfur is "deafer". Good God who is running Google? YOU ASSMORONS AT GOOGLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL DARFUR, no wonder everyone there is dying...)
Seriously, there is a point where you wonder if anyone in the real world; the meat world; can handle the real you. The terrible raw honest dead baby crazy lady you. And you try. You trust a few precious people with the real awful you. But they can't handle it. They pretend. They try. They find your blog by accident and they try to be so kind and not tell you that they know all about the real person you are, but it slips and the world is shifted and you just really honest to freaking god wish they would click away and never come back. So you could be you.
In case any of you care, I have a concussion, but not a fractured skull, only because no one has looked with their magic X-RAY machine, or the magic CAT SCAN machine. I also have ADD/ADHD AKA the magic disease that does not exist in the media world, but I'm only saying that so you will quickly unsubscribe from the the crazy lady. The concussion did not cause the ADD, it was already there. Suck it.
Anyway, we finally booked a vacation, but my husband hates me so it may suck a lot. Okay, he really doesn't hate me, but he is kind of peeved with me tonight. Enough? We are going to the Mayan Riviera for March Break, and we are going to an okay fancy-shmancy resort, but not the most perfect one on earth, because it is what it is, and we are going to be happy with what we have and that's good and we got a good price and we need some perspective. My hubs is okay with it finally!!!! Meanwhile, my BFF is driving me insane trying to get us to cancel and go other places, because she is like my sister and worries about us and wants us to have the perfect place. By the way, if you ever have more than two kids and want a vacation online, I know several places that will book five people in a room now. It should be more but really, people who work in the resort industry and have no business to speak of should be more flexible, like sayyyy-be willing to book adjoining rooms, or stick a baby in a room.
BTW, Jackie, who commented on my last post, and is quite welcome to promote herself on my blog, is THE GREATEST MOST TOLERANT TRAVEL AGENT ON EARTH. Feel free to hire her. Anytime.
She will put up with your crazie, anytime. Or at least my level of crazie. Maybe not yours, heh. Cause you just might suck more than me. Hard to believe, but true.
Just sayin'
Ok, only kidding, you really are good for me, likely in fact the best therapy evah. Ten times better than the dickheaded shrinks who drive me crazy.
*Just realized that this title is confusing. Regular blog readers please stay because you are good for me, people who know me from real life either political or personal and are secretly reading me, please unsubscribe.*
You give me perspective.
I remember to feel grateful for what I have, and not just what I lack.
When people starting moaning about how poor they are because their portfolio dropped 37%; and really they aren't poor because they actually HAVE a fucking portfolio and they are moaning from a position of privilege, you write and remind me of Darfur or just the average kind of desperation that we real people struggle with.
And I shut my mouth.
I was at a fundraising meeting tonight and I was actually gone from my baby for an entire 3 hours. And when my husband emailed me on the berry trying to trasmit intense guilt about the lack of nannies and frozen breastmilk I totally rolled my eyes, because I actually was not worried. 25 tonnes of gourmet homemade baby food and twelve boxes of cereal means that life is not so bad peeps. The babe will make it.
(Google thinks that the correct spelling for breastmilk is buttermilk; am peeing with laughter *nevermind* *stupid aside* Sadly they also think that the correct spelling of Darfur is "deafer". Good God who is running Google? YOU ASSMORONS AT GOOGLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL DARFUR, no wonder everyone there is dying...)
Seriously, there is a point where you wonder if anyone in the real world; the meat world; can handle the real you. The terrible raw honest dead baby crazy lady you. And you try. You trust a few precious people with the real awful you. But they can't handle it. They pretend. They try. They find your blog by accident and they try to be so kind and not tell you that they know all about the real person you are, but it slips and the world is shifted and you just really honest to freaking god wish they would click away and never come back. So you could be you.
In case any of you care, I have a concussion, but not a fractured skull, only because no one has looked with their magic X-RAY machine, or the magic CAT SCAN machine. I also have ADD/ADHD AKA the magic disease that does not exist in the media world, but I'm only saying that so you will quickly unsubscribe from the the crazy lady. The concussion did not cause the ADD, it was already there. Suck it.
Anyway, we finally booked a vacation, but my husband hates me so it may suck a lot. Okay, he really doesn't hate me, but he is kind of peeved with me tonight. Enough? We are going to the Mayan Riviera for March Break, and we are going to an okay fancy-shmancy resort, but not the most perfect one on earth, because it is what it is, and we are going to be happy with what we have and that's good and we got a good price and we need some perspective. My hubs is okay with it finally!!!! Meanwhile, my BFF is driving me insane trying to get us to cancel and go other places, because she is like my sister and worries about us and wants us to have the perfect place. By the way, if you ever have more than two kids and want a vacation online, I know several places that will book five people in a room now. It should be more but really, people who work in the resort industry and have no business to speak of should be more flexible, like sayyyy-be willing to book adjoining rooms, or stick a baby in a room.
BTW, Jackie, who commented on my last post, and is quite welcome to promote herself on my blog, is THE GREATEST MOST TOLERANT TRAVEL AGENT ON EARTH. Feel free to hire her. Anytime.
She will put up with your crazie, anytime. Or at least my level of crazie. Maybe not yours, heh. Cause you just might suck more than me. Hard to believe, but true.
Just sayin'
Ok, only kidding, you really are good for me, likely in fact the best therapy evah. Ten times better than the dickheaded shrinks who drive me crazy.
*Just realized that this title is confusing. Regular blog readers please stay because you are good for me, people who know me from real life either political or personal and are secretly reading me, please unsubscribe.*
Monday, February 23, 2009
The real big winner
Lord, I am such a star it's a wonder the world doesn't just imitate everything I do.
Sigh....
Before I explain why, an update, Julius is feeling much better. We switched antibiotics last Friday and his fever is now completely gone and his ear seems better. He's off his schedule, but it's fixable. So that is the good news.
On to my tales of woe, last Friday, I got my Form 6 in for a delegate spot for the Liberal Party Leadership at the very last second on earth, and discovered later that my husband had gotten confused and thought that I was going alone, but since it's April 30th-May 3rd, Julius will only be 11 months and still breastfeeding and there is no way I'm going without him. Except for the fact that my nanny can't come since she is going to be elsewhere, and the Liberals generally don't provide childcare at conventions. And now I am either stuck trying to find a nanny out in Vancouver who can watch him in the hotel room while I go out to parties and he is sound asleep, or at least someone to help me during the day so I get to eat and shower and pay attention to the speakers.
And of course, my husband has to agree to let me take the baby all that way. He is hesitant because when I've taken one of the kids to a convention before, it was really crappy and I did not enjoy myself at all. And the baby at the time, Kaz, had his schedule all screwed up by the end. Not fun for him either. Mr.C. could take care of him, and I'd just leave frozen milk, but I'm not sure that will be so great.
Thing is, I went to a conference when Mac was 11 months old and left him behind, and hauled a breastpump with me all over god's green acre, and missed him terribly and that wasn't much fun either. I missed loads of stuff because I was pumping in my room all the time, and because I couldn't freeze it and it was too many days, in the end I had to dump the milk I pumped, which killed me. I don't mind breastfeeding in public, and dammit, nobody better even try to stop me, but I am not going to use a breast pump in the middle of the convention floor. That would just not work.
I'd been mentally preparing myself to be away from Julius for BlogHer in July and thought that would work since he would be a little older, and breastfeeding a lot less, if at all, but this feels just too soon, you know?
Stupid Liberal Party.....gahhhh, and they wonder why so few women and men of parenting age show up at these things. They have loads of singles, and young people and old ones, but almost no women between the ages of 25-45 ever show up at these things. If they do, they are mostly staff. (Based on my observations anyway.) Honestly, I am going to have to fight to get to bring my breastfeeding baby into the individual meetings.....some idiot will likely make me pay an observer fee for him! Which means I either miss some debates because I am somewhere pumping, or I miss the debates because I am feeding him outside the door, straining to hear. The NDP has fabulous free childcare, pretty much round the clock, and it let's all babies and small children into conventions whereever parents go. They have had it for over twenty years with huge success, but that would be waayyy to progressive for the Liberals, practically socialist, so that's a no go.
Oy.
A smarter person would have checked this out sooner and made better plans....fuck I am stupid.
Plus we put off taking a vacation for so long that my husband is not thrilled by the selection and price, even though we have one of my blog readers who is a travel agent, Jackie, working her tail off for us, trying to find us a deal. She is doing a fabulous job, but even she can't make a five star all inclusive resort in the high season suddenly drop it's price to nothing. He is slowing accepting this, sort of like he is slowly accepting the fact that when your roof falls in, you might have to renovate. You know?
More Oy.
Again, a smarter person would have checked it out and done a better job, maybe gone in February. I am stupid.
And bound to get stupider. Last night after the Oscars, I was sprawled on our bed, half asleep. My hubs comes in the room and I awake with a start---and smack my head right on the glass corner of the night table. I howled in pain, grabbed my head and saw blood. My husband ran for a cold cloth and ice, but I suddenly realized there wasn't just a little blood, but a giant gusher and ran to the washroom. After we cleaned up what must have been pints and pints of blood, we figured it was only a tiny cut, (the head is a veiny place, yes?). Bigger problem, I think I have a concussion, and with my crummy osteoporotic bones, likely a hairline fracture. Definitely a headache and dizzy anyway.
So there you are folks, don't you want to be just like me? Yeah, I thought not.
Oy
Sigh....
Before I explain why, an update, Julius is feeling much better. We switched antibiotics last Friday and his fever is now completely gone and his ear seems better. He's off his schedule, but it's fixable. So that is the good news.
On to my tales of woe, last Friday, I got my Form 6 in for a delegate spot for the Liberal Party Leadership at the very last second on earth, and discovered later that my husband had gotten confused and thought that I was going alone, but since it's April 30th-May 3rd, Julius will only be 11 months and still breastfeeding and there is no way I'm going without him. Except for the fact that my nanny can't come since she is going to be elsewhere, and the Liberals generally don't provide childcare at conventions. And now I am either stuck trying to find a nanny out in Vancouver who can watch him in the hotel room while I go out to parties and he is sound asleep, or at least someone to help me during the day so I get to eat and shower and pay attention to the speakers.
And of course, my husband has to agree to let me take the baby all that way. He is hesitant because when I've taken one of the kids to a convention before, it was really crappy and I did not enjoy myself at all. And the baby at the time, Kaz, had his schedule all screwed up by the end. Not fun for him either. Mr.C. could take care of him, and I'd just leave frozen milk, but I'm not sure that will be so great.
Thing is, I went to a conference when Mac was 11 months old and left him behind, and hauled a breastpump with me all over god's green acre, and missed him terribly and that wasn't much fun either. I missed loads of stuff because I was pumping in my room all the time, and because I couldn't freeze it and it was too many days, in the end I had to dump the milk I pumped, which killed me. I don't mind breastfeeding in public, and dammit, nobody better even try to stop me, but I am not going to use a breast pump in the middle of the convention floor. That would just not work.
I'd been mentally preparing myself to be away from Julius for BlogHer in July and thought that would work since he would be a little older, and breastfeeding a lot less, if at all, but this feels just too soon, you know?
Stupid Liberal Party.....gahhhh, and they wonder why so few women and men of parenting age show up at these things. They have loads of singles, and young people and old ones, but almost no women between the ages of 25-45 ever show up at these things. If they do, they are mostly staff. (Based on my observations anyway.) Honestly, I am going to have to fight to get to bring my breastfeeding baby into the individual meetings.....some idiot will likely make me pay an observer fee for him! Which means I either miss some debates because I am somewhere pumping, or I miss the debates because I am feeding him outside the door, straining to hear. The NDP has fabulous free childcare, pretty much round the clock, and it let's all babies and small children into conventions whereever parents go. They have had it for over twenty years with huge success, but that would be waayyy to progressive for the Liberals, practically socialist, so that's a no go.
Oy.
A smarter person would have checked this out sooner and made better plans....fuck I am stupid.
Plus we put off taking a vacation for so long that my husband is not thrilled by the selection and price, even though we have one of my blog readers who is a travel agent, Jackie, working her tail off for us, trying to find us a deal. She is doing a fabulous job, but even she can't make a five star all inclusive resort in the high season suddenly drop it's price to nothing. He is slowing accepting this, sort of like he is slowly accepting the fact that when your roof falls in, you might have to renovate. You know?
More Oy.
Again, a smarter person would have checked it out and done a better job, maybe gone in February. I am stupid.
And bound to get stupider. Last night after the Oscars, I was sprawled on our bed, half asleep. My hubs comes in the room and I awake with a start---and smack my head right on the glass corner of the night table. I howled in pain, grabbed my head and saw blood. My husband ran for a cold cloth and ice, but I suddenly realized there wasn't just a little blood, but a giant gusher and ran to the washroom. After we cleaned up what must have been pints and pints of blood, we figured it was only a tiny cut, (the head is a veiny place, yes?). Bigger problem, I think I have a concussion, and with my crummy osteoporotic bones, likely a hairline fracture. Definitely a headache and dizzy anyway.
So there you are folks, don't you want to be just like me? Yeah, I thought not.
Oy
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My opening line needs work
Or so I'm told by the last person I told this too. Basically you all need to brace yourselves, especially any of the former or current NICU moms.
Julius has RSV, respiratory synctial virus.
And so did I.
I'm all better and now immune, but he is still sickish, not quite there. For those who wondered, RSV's like the worst most exquisitely painful respiratory illness I've ever had. (The antibiotics I had cleared up my ear infection though!)
I know it's bad, and fragile babies can die from it, but that's really the sum total of my current knowledge. Bizarrely, I haven't googled it, because right now, I just keep thinking that he must be getting better! And the pneumonia it caused is cleared up! And the fluidy crackle in his lungs is gone! And it's not bacterial meningitis!
Which would have been deadly. Sort of like when he was born not breathing and blue and yet came back to life anyway. And then when he was breathing funny and got out of the NICU in only one day. Sort of like when he was never supposed to be here at all if I believed all those REs who refused to treat me because I had ovarian failure, yet somehow here he is.
So my perspective is slightly weird right now. He was fine before, and he'll be fine again. He has to be. I just keep checking that he is still fine every 20 seconds or so. Just in case.
So the RSV thing? Tell me it ends soon and even though he is still sometimes feverish and his ears and throat hurt, that he'll be ok?
OK?
Please?
Julius has RSV, respiratory synctial virus.
And so did I.
I'm all better and now immune, but he is still sickish, not quite there. For those who wondered, RSV's like the worst most exquisitely painful respiratory illness I've ever had. (The antibiotics I had cleared up my ear infection though!)
I know it's bad, and fragile babies can die from it, but that's really the sum total of my current knowledge. Bizarrely, I haven't googled it, because right now, I just keep thinking that he must be getting better! And the pneumonia it caused is cleared up! And the fluidy crackle in his lungs is gone! And it's not bacterial meningitis!
Which would have been deadly. Sort of like when he was born not breathing and blue and yet came back to life anyway. And then when he was breathing funny and got out of the NICU in only one day. Sort of like when he was never supposed to be here at all if I believed all those REs who refused to treat me because I had ovarian failure, yet somehow here he is.
So my perspective is slightly weird right now. He was fine before, and he'll be fine again. He has to be. I just keep checking that he is still fine every 20 seconds or so. Just in case.
So the RSV thing? Tell me it ends soon and even though he is still sometimes feverish and his ears and throat hurt, that he'll be ok?
OK?
Please?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Booo-yah!!
An actual email exchange back and forth. What you don't see on the post is a picture of my crapped out pale disastrous weak face that I attached, along with a close up of my infected throat. Pus and all.
From: Aurelia's real email address
Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2009 19:02:31 -0500
To: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Subject: Need some help
"Julius" is home now, but we just came back after a day and half at Kids Hospital. He got some sort of secondary infection after his recent cold, the same one I had when I saw you. Based on his soaring temp and his lethargy and pain, they thought it might be meningitis, so he had to get a lumbar puncture and a whole gamut of tests. Turned out he has only has pneumonia and an ear infection, thank God, but we are still waiting to find out the culture results for sure. So he is on antibiotics, ceflex I think..
Trouble is, now I have the exact same thing he had. My ears are on fire, my chest hurts, my neck is stiff, my throat is awful, my nose and sinuses are stuffed and every part of my body hurts and I have chills. I am double dosing tylenol and advil. I am afraid to go to a walk in clinic or ER because I’ll be there forever cause they are all packed and likely give this to someone else. Plus I have to be here to take care of Julius. Nannies and husbands can’t breastfeed!
Can you call in something for me? I wouldn’t ask but this stupid family day holiday means no one is around until Tuesday. My pharmacy is 416-123-4567. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, but I’ll understand if you say no. I just don’t know what else to do.
"Aurelia"
From: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 01:52:36 +0000
To: Aurelia's real email address
Subject: Re: Need some help
You make a good case, no problem. No allergies?
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
From: Aurelia's real email address
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:11:43 +0000
To: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Subject: Re: Need some help
None, thanks!I really appreciate this.
From: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:19:41 +0000
To: Aurelia's real email address
Subject: Re: Need some help
Done. Hope it helps.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
ZOMG, This woman is such a good doctor and knows me so well and understands her patients and saved my butt and really honest to God gets it, that I just love her.
Even though I'm not one, if she wanted to be a lesbian for one day, I would make her so happy. Like, out of gratitude.
From: Aurelia's real email address
Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2009 19:02:31 -0500
To: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Subject: Need some help
"Julius" is home now, but we just came back after a day and half at Kids Hospital. He got some sort of secondary infection after his recent cold, the same one I had when I saw you. Based on his soaring temp and his lethargy and pain, they thought it might be meningitis, so he had to get a lumbar puncture and a whole gamut of tests. Turned out he has only has pneumonia and an ear infection, thank God, but we are still waiting to find out the culture results for sure. So he is on antibiotics, ceflex I think..
Trouble is, now I have the exact same thing he had. My ears are on fire, my chest hurts, my neck is stiff, my throat is awful, my nose and sinuses are stuffed and every part of my body hurts and I have chills. I am double dosing tylenol and advil. I am afraid to go to a walk in clinic or ER because I’ll be there forever cause they are all packed and likely give this to someone else. Plus I have to be here to take care of Julius. Nannies and husbands can’t breastfeed!
Can you call in something for me? I wouldn’t ask but this stupid family day holiday means no one is around until Tuesday. My pharmacy is 416-123-4567. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, but I’ll understand if you say no. I just don’t know what else to do.
"Aurelia"
From: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 01:52:36 +0000
To: Aurelia's real email address
Subject: Re: Need some help
You make a good case, no problem. No allergies?
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
From: Aurelia's real email address
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:11:43 +0000
To: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Subject: Re: Need some help
None, thanks!I really appreciate this.
From: Lovely Doctor J.'s email
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:19:41 +0000
To: Aurelia's real email address
Subject: Re: Need some help
Done. Hope it helps.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
ZOMG, This woman is such a good doctor and knows me so well and understands her patients and saved my butt and really honest to God gets it, that I just love her.
Even though I'm not one, if she wanted to be a lesbian for one day, I would make her so happy. Like, out of gratitude.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The right side
Julius has pneumonia in his right lung, along with a very very bad ear infection in the right ear. We have been admitted to the good hospital but are likely hunkered down in the ER for the night because every runny-nosed kid in TO is clogging up the beds. (Seriously, walk in clinic people--it's a goddam runny nose!)
My pediatrician thought I was crazy runny nose lady the other day when I showed up with Julius saying that he was sicker than last week and that I suspected an ear infection or bronchitis or something in his lungs.
She laughed me off even though he had been up screaming the entire night with a fever of 101 after tylenol and advil and had rales in his chest you could feel and said that I could come back everyday if I was so determined to get him diagnosed.
Who me?
Determined?
Naaaw, not lil ol me....
Anyway, I did come back today, and after seeing just how freakin ill Julius was, she not only finally saw his ear infection, she was worried enough to drop the M-Bomb.
Meningitis!
So we have now had a lumbar puncture, an IV, a blood draw, a urinary catheter for a pee sample, a chest x-ray and a bunch of monitoring equipment attached to him. He's like a bionic pin cushion.
Urine dip is clear, white cells are up, and spinal fluid is clear though the blood and pee and CSF will have to be cultured to know for sure. His chest Xray showed some shadows, and he had crackles in his chest. So for now, he is on IV ceflex and we'll go from there.
I seriously don't believe that they give babies and kids so little painkiller in this joint. I'd score heroin easier than some baby tempra. WTF? Don't children deserve some pain relief? Not cool.
More later, so tired I can't even move.....
My pediatrician thought I was crazy runny nose lady the other day when I showed up with Julius saying that he was sicker than last week and that I suspected an ear infection or bronchitis or something in his lungs.
She laughed me off even though he had been up screaming the entire night with a fever of 101 after tylenol and advil and had rales in his chest you could feel and said that I could come back everyday if I was so determined to get him diagnosed.
Who me?
Determined?
Naaaw, not lil ol me....
Anyway, I did come back today, and after seeing just how freakin ill Julius was, she not only finally saw his ear infection, she was worried enough to drop the M-Bomb.
Meningitis!
So we have now had a lumbar puncture, an IV, a blood draw, a urinary catheter for a pee sample, a chest x-ray and a bunch of monitoring equipment attached to him. He's like a bionic pin cushion.
Urine dip is clear, white cells are up, and spinal fluid is clear though the blood and pee and CSF will have to be cultured to know for sure. His chest Xray showed some shadows, and he had crackles in his chest. So for now, he is on IV ceflex and we'll go from there.
I seriously don't believe that they give babies and kids so little painkiller in this joint. I'd score heroin easier than some baby tempra. WTF? Don't children deserve some pain relief? Not cool.
More later, so tired I can't even move.....
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
one more thing
sick baby now has bronchitis
annual fundraiser a big 'ol mess
friends not available right when I need them
birth relatives violating emotional boundaries
in-laws turning into unrecognizable schadenfreude experts
husband and I having huge fight about unattractive schadenfreuders
roof has an ugly tarp and ceiling still falling in
architect unable to remember previous instructions, keeps sending weird drawings
hormones now undetectable (LH & FSH) so I may have another disease to battle
unable to schedule diagnostic sonohysterogram due to 12 weeks worth of unrelenting bloodloss
kaz's school made several commitments to us on friday after I raised hell - and still nothing
behind on billpaying, even though I have the money, because the paperwork is so screwed up
no groceries in house, no supplies cause I barely have time to move, never mind shop
skin cancer spot on nose, or else I am growing an ugly spot
new car is still not working right
bloglines messed up, can't pick up feeds
feedburner messed up, can't figure out feeds
blogger messed up, keeps barring comments
ISP messed up, unable to get me on the net
gmail/blackberry both messed up, unable to send/receive messages
and last but not least
husband's long-standing, inactive auto-immune disease is active again - the one I can't discuss here, that scares the fuck outa me
enough people just enough
annual fundraiser a big 'ol mess
friends not available right when I need them
birth relatives violating emotional boundaries
in-laws turning into unrecognizable schadenfreude experts
husband and I having huge fight about unattractive schadenfreuders
roof has an ugly tarp and ceiling still falling in
architect unable to remember previous instructions, keeps sending weird drawings
hormones now undetectable (LH & FSH) so I may have another disease to battle
unable to schedule diagnostic sonohysterogram due to 12 weeks worth of unrelenting bloodloss
kaz's school made several commitments to us on friday after I raised hell - and still nothing
behind on billpaying, even though I have the money, because the paperwork is so screwed up
no groceries in house, no supplies cause I barely have time to move, never mind shop
skin cancer spot on nose, or else I am growing an ugly spot
new car is still not working right
bloglines messed up, can't pick up feeds
feedburner messed up, can't figure out feeds
blogger messed up, keeps barring comments
ISP messed up, unable to get me on the net
gmail/blackberry both messed up, unable to send/receive messages
and last but not least
husband's long-standing, inactive auto-immune disease is active again - the one I can't discuss here, that scares the fuck outa me
enough people just enough
Sunday, February 08, 2009
sleep eludes
Baby Julius now has our collective cold...he can barely breathe what with all the snot. Thank God he is 24 pounds and allowed to take Advil cold and Tylenol Cold. (You know, the stuff they said didn't work? hahahahahahhaha, maybe they should speak to the entire pediatric ENT team at Sick Kids, all of whom heartily endorse it.)
Seriously, I love how the keep banning drugs off the market these days with little or no evidence of harm. It's like the new favourite thing to do is ban everything. In reality, they should just make sure it works for certain things and stick to them and study the drug properly if they have no studies.
Like pediatric decongestant? It works just fine, thanks. There are no studies on it in children. Only adults. But the FDA and Health Canada decided to go thermonuclear and BAN it. Funny thing is, that it likely does work well in children. They just haven't studied it yet. The companies are going to study it now because they are getting a lot of pissed of parents and a lot of high level guys like the ones at Sick Kids who are angry that children are being put in danger of chronic ear infections, ear drum damage, ear tube insertion surgery and possible deafness as a result of dipshit bureaucrats trying to cover their ass.
Oh and did I mention the monetary incentives? You see the ENTs at Sick Kids are paid flat rate salaries they negotiate and they only see the most serious cases, and are incredibly busy, so they don't want to see any unnecessary surgeries. They have enough to do. But the ear tube surgeries are still done regularly for any child who has had more than three ear infections. By local ENT surgeons. Who get paid per procedure, and depend on them to cover the bills. (ENTs also got screwed when it was discovered that tonsillectomies are rarely medically necessary. Business dropped and so did office profits.)
You see, about 7-8 years ago, a Cochrane study came out about the effectiveness of ear tubes for children with chronic ear infections. It turns out that ear tubes do absolutely no good at all for any normal children. They are effective for children with cranio-facial deformities, (like Downs, or flat heads from lying on their backs) but pretty much no other children. In the case of normal children with constant ear infections, they should get the pneumovax vaccine, and stay on children's decongestant to dry up the fluid in their ears. They should also be fed sitting bolt upright at all times, and never ever go to bed with a bottle of anything, water, milk, or juice. Breastfeeding is different because you can't culture germs in it and it can't come out of a breast unless the baby is actively sucking and swallowing, so therefore it can't pool in the ear tube and drum and brew up an infection.
The Ontario Ministry of Health could do something about this, and stop paying for a multitude of medically unnecessary procedures, (arthroscopic knee surgery, ear tubes, frozen shoulder rotations, preventative appendectomies, cystoscopies with irrigation, etc, etc...) and someday pay for medically necessary ones, like IVF with SET and PGD or miscarriage treatment, or helmets for plagiocephaly.
Health Canada could operate on the basis of medical evidence for drug safety and say---do things to prevent the death of babies and improve maternal infant fetal health.
But if that were to happen, all hell would break loose, the universe would end, and sunshine and rainbows would come bursting out of my ass.
You know, because it would mean the Doctors actually give a flying fuck about saving lives instead of cold hard cash.
Seriously, I love how the keep banning drugs off the market these days with little or no evidence of harm. It's like the new favourite thing to do is ban everything. In reality, they should just make sure it works for certain things and stick to them and study the drug properly if they have no studies.
Like pediatric decongestant? It works just fine, thanks. There are no studies on it in children. Only adults. But the FDA and Health Canada decided to go thermonuclear and BAN it. Funny thing is, that it likely does work well in children. They just haven't studied it yet. The companies are going to study it now because they are getting a lot of pissed of parents and a lot of high level guys like the ones at Sick Kids who are angry that children are being put in danger of chronic ear infections, ear drum damage, ear tube insertion surgery and possible deafness as a result of dipshit bureaucrats trying to cover their ass.
Oh and did I mention the monetary incentives? You see the ENTs at Sick Kids are paid flat rate salaries they negotiate and they only see the most serious cases, and are incredibly busy, so they don't want to see any unnecessary surgeries. They have enough to do. But the ear tube surgeries are still done regularly for any child who has had more than three ear infections. By local ENT surgeons. Who get paid per procedure, and depend on them to cover the bills. (ENTs also got screwed when it was discovered that tonsillectomies are rarely medically necessary. Business dropped and so did office profits.)
You see, about 7-8 years ago, a Cochrane study came out about the effectiveness of ear tubes for children with chronic ear infections. It turns out that ear tubes do absolutely no good at all for any normal children. They are effective for children with cranio-facial deformities, (like Downs, or flat heads from lying on their backs) but pretty much no other children. In the case of normal children with constant ear infections, they should get the pneumovax vaccine, and stay on children's decongestant to dry up the fluid in their ears. They should also be fed sitting bolt upright at all times, and never ever go to bed with a bottle of anything, water, milk, or juice. Breastfeeding is different because you can't culture germs in it and it can't come out of a breast unless the baby is actively sucking and swallowing, so therefore it can't pool in the ear tube and drum and brew up an infection.
The Ontario Ministry of Health could do something about this, and stop paying for a multitude of medically unnecessary procedures, (arthroscopic knee surgery, ear tubes, frozen shoulder rotations, preventative appendectomies, cystoscopies with irrigation, etc, etc...) and someday pay for medically necessary ones, like IVF with SET and PGD or miscarriage treatment, or helmets for plagiocephaly.
Health Canada could operate on the basis of medical evidence for drug safety and say---do things to prevent the death of babies and improve maternal infant fetal health.
But if that were to happen, all hell would break loose, the universe would end, and sunshine and rainbows would come bursting out of my ass.
You know, because it would mean the Doctors actually give a flying fuck about saving lives instead of cold hard cash.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
relieving the suspense
We paid some awful amount of money to temporarily fix the roof, and cleaned up all the rotting drywall and water. We hope it will last 6 months, but really it will only last until the next thaw, when another leak comes up in another spot. Husband is slowly accepting he will have to actually reno the house, and use the plans the architect is now rushing to do. Slowly. Some more ceiling needs to fall on his head perhaps? Dunno...
Dr.J. was not helpful. And she usually is. So disappointed. She thinks that I should LOWER my estrogen even though every single time I do that, I bleed like mad. She wants me to take only progesterone even though that makes me shake and get the jitters. Then she wants me to go off of everything for a week (Hello, divorce!) and then go on the pill, which is never enough estrogen for me. She does not seem to understand that in a woman with severe ovarian failure like myself, I do not produce any hormones on my own. So of course my moods are affected. And mood altering drugs don't help that. ADs, whatever, cannot make up for organ failure!
They'd never say this to a man who had kidney failure and was experiencing side effects of the disease.
Never.
Oh, and at first we could not understand the ultrasound report, because it said I had one fibroid and two normal looking ovaries, and some other weird stuff. Then we realized that someone had messed up my report and transposed the measurement numbers. Sigh....plus they did not note the position or placement of the fibroid, and so we can't do anything else. I have to go back for an ultrasound and a saline hysterogram. In case the fibroid is inner, or if I have a polyp, or scar tissue. Total fucking waste of time.....could have done this last fall if I had a requisition. And she did not give me a referral to an OB/Gyn because she wants to wait and figure this out. Thing is, unless it's urgent, I have to wait. And if I had a referral last fall....sigh...
Next, the entire family is sick and exhausted. We have colds and bad throats and Mr.Cotta is getting a man-cold, which as we all know is much much worse than any cold a woman could ever get.
And my son's school? The new high school which demanded all that testing and documentation and said they would move him up and give him more challenging work? Not quite.....they don't do that for anyone. Ever. Except that's a lie, and they did do it for a kid in his class in another subject and they do it for lots of people. Except that it's too late now. Except that "ooops", turns out we've been asking them to do this since last June and it's not our fault their heads are stuck up their asses and they were too disorganized to figure it out. I honestly don't get it. My poor husband feels shocked because he can't believe they are screwing this up.
If Einstein went to this school, they'd tell him to go to the back of the bus. They are really that awful.
January sucked. And if Julius wasn't here and learning how to crawl all on his own and being amazing, February would suck too. Poor Kaz, poor Mac, poor me and the house and Mr.C. If only grown up life were as simple as learning how to crawl...
Dr.J. was not helpful. And she usually is. So disappointed. She thinks that I should LOWER my estrogen even though every single time I do that, I bleed like mad. She wants me to take only progesterone even though that makes me shake and get the jitters. Then she wants me to go off of everything for a week (Hello, divorce!) and then go on the pill, which is never enough estrogen for me. She does not seem to understand that in a woman with severe ovarian failure like myself, I do not produce any hormones on my own. So of course my moods are affected. And mood altering drugs don't help that. ADs, whatever, cannot make up for organ failure!
They'd never say this to a man who had kidney failure and was experiencing side effects of the disease.
Never.
Oh, and at first we could not understand the ultrasound report, because it said I had one fibroid and two normal looking ovaries, and some other weird stuff. Then we realized that someone had messed up my report and transposed the measurement numbers. Sigh....plus they did not note the position or placement of the fibroid, and so we can't do anything else. I have to go back for an ultrasound and a saline hysterogram. In case the fibroid is inner, or if I have a polyp, or scar tissue. Total fucking waste of time.....could have done this last fall if I had a requisition. And she did not give me a referral to an OB/Gyn because she wants to wait and figure this out. Thing is, unless it's urgent, I have to wait. And if I had a referral last fall....sigh...
Next, the entire family is sick and exhausted. We have colds and bad throats and Mr.Cotta is getting a man-cold, which as we all know is much much worse than any cold a woman could ever get.
And my son's school? The new high school which demanded all that testing and documentation and said they would move him up and give him more challenging work? Not quite.....they don't do that for anyone. Ever. Except that's a lie, and they did do it for a kid in his class in another subject and they do it for lots of people. Except that it's too late now. Except that "ooops", turns out we've been asking them to do this since last June and it's not our fault their heads are stuck up their asses and they were too disorganized to figure it out. I honestly don't get it. My poor husband feels shocked because he can't believe they are screwing this up.
If Einstein went to this school, they'd tell him to go to the back of the bus. They are really that awful.
January sucked. And if Julius wasn't here and learning how to crawl all on his own and being amazing, February would suck too. Poor Kaz, poor Mac, poor me and the house and Mr.C. If only grown up life were as simple as learning how to crawl...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)