I'm way behind on blogs and emails right now. And life, and groceries, and shopping, and laundry...gee, maybe I've been distracted? Today is catch-up day...
Anyway, I'm back to disrupted sleep at this point, because I ran out of my usual ADD drugs and tried some of my old stock, thinking, hey, I could try Concerta, and it would work, right?....nope, that stuff sucks.
It's put together as a time release drug that is phased 20% in the first 4 hours, then 40% for the next 4 hours, and 40 % for the final 4 hours. This is supposed to discourage all of us supposedly "fakers" from abusing it, but I'm not sure how fucking up someone's morning concentration and then giving them the equivalent of 12 shots of espresso at 5:00 pm is supposed to help me have a good sleep at night. I've always thought that the idiots who think people abuse ADD drugs should follow me around for a week. I always forget to take it! And everyone I've ever known with ADD also forgets to take it.
It's really hard to be addicted to something you never actually remember to need or want....asshats. I think they forget that people who have this have MEMORY problems. Of course, maybe THEY have the memory problems.....
So dump that one, now I need to get up the guts to email my ADD Doc back and ask her for a repeat of another one. I kind of don't want to because she drove me nuts....she's not a very good Doc, but there are almost no specialists in Adult ADD anywhere. Lots of pediatricians, and lots of media pundits, but not very many actual people who know what they are doing.
This is the one instance in which I become jealous of people with other mental issues. Every other problem is given the credit of existing, even if patients don't always get the right treatment or enough treatment. But for this? Geez, we must all be faking it, I must be "lazy"...I've had so many Yoda quotes thrown at me, "There is no try, only do" that I'm starting to hate the little green bastard with a passion, even though it's not him talking to me, but the media or various parents/teachers/medical people saying it out loud.
Additude magazine has a new website and forums I've been surfing a bit. It'a pretty good place to read up on it and lots of other LDs, if you are ever interested.
I've always been fascinated by the connection between ADD and adoption by the way, that is the idea that young parents-to-be who have ADD and are untreated are more likely to forget to take birth control, more likely to get pregnant, and more likely to give up their babies for adoption, partially because of societal judgements, but also partially because of higher levels of impulsivity and poorer organizational skills, which translates into poorer parenting skills. Then the adoptees inherit ADD through genetics (There's a huge study on this right now in N.A.) and continue the cycle of impulse control problems. I heard about this from my first ADD Doc btw, a guy long since retired.
Unmedicated ADDers are eight times more likely to get into car accidents while driving, six times more likely to drown while swimming, and five times more likely to be involved in household accidents.
So, which would you rather be labelled? An accident prone bad parent who crashes her car all the time and forgets to feed her kids, or a lazy drug addict who's faking being sick? Nice choices....
Gotta go send that email to my drug dealer/Doctor now, thanks...*eyeroll*.