Friday, May 04, 2007

Many phone calls later...

First, thank you to all of you who have been supportive and kind in comments after my last post, and in various emails. I especially liked Leroy's comment, "If he is this way about most things Aurelia, he must have you on a pretty tall pedestal too. You had to be the perfect and only mate for him which I think every spouse likes to think." I'm taking that as a compliment! And yes, you are all right that we need marriage counselling, unfortunately, he won't agree yet, and so far, having my therapists analyze him doesn't work so well....especially because they've never met him. That said, I know him pretty well, even if he doesn't think so, and I'm willing to wait for him to make some more progress.

Strange as this sounds, he's improved a lot since we met years ago, so what the hell, maybe I'll keep working on him?

Oh, and for those of you who have read this saga, and are thinking, wow, that could never happen to us, we LOVE each other, I am so *eyerolling* you. We were lovey-dovey too once upon a time, and then life happened. I might talk some more about this at some point, but yes, you need more than just love to make a family work. Waaaayyy more....

Too answer a question from Niobe, yes, the kids get input into camp choices, but because they are so young it has to be limited. For example, my 10 year old, let's call him Kaz, really believes he can be responsible enough to take care of himself. Meanwhile, he rarely if ever remembers to flush and wash his hands afterwards. Not a big deal when mom is there to remind him, but a huge problem when he is out canoe-tripping in the bush and picks up a parasitic infection because he doesn't use alcohol hand sanitizer enough. So I'm a little leery...

Anyway, the bloom is coming off the Camp rose for Mr.Cotta. After a nice long discussion with the camp director today, (the great-grandson of the original yadda yadda hoo-ha who started the whole thing), we have an interesting discovery here. It turns out that enrollment is down in the camp biz, and especially at rustic camps, in fact, Wasp central isn't nearly as popular with the anglo crowd as it once was.

No more stiff upper lips, and the cold showers have been converted to hot showers at the behest of moms like me. Mr.Cotta is slightly resentful at this, "WE never had hot showers!" I expected him to tell me next how he had to walk to summer camp 20 miles in the snow, uphill, BOTH WAYS. Poor man, it seems that they also are quite nice and kind to the children! They feed them hot food and let them sleep on sheets and everything!

Truthfully, though there is still an air of affluenza, they've also had to lower their standards and let in the plebes and children of plebes like ours. It turns out that most parents aren't willing to abandon their kids for eight straight weeks anymore. Modern parents only want two weeks, or even just 4 day long weekends. They haven't gone the way of some camps, which provide cleaning and maid service to the campers, (and I think this is only appropriate for the youngest of campers myself) but they are being forced to adapt.

We're going to do two weeks there, since the owner practically begged and all. (And I am a sucker for a man who kisses my heiney, truly.) And a weekend at another camp, very different style. And no I haven't figured out how to pay for it....but at least I won on most of my issues!

Maybe the Kates of the world will win over the Wills' in the end, eh? Working on them bit by bit...


  1. This sounds like progress. Is it just for Kaz or does Mac get to go too?

    I feel for Mr.Cotta and the bloom. We tend to credit our childhood experiences with influencing our character development in some way, and I am guessing he thinks the camp was instrumental in developing some of his better qualities. I am not sure how often one is right about these things, though... :)

  2. "you need more than just love to make a family work"

    Absolutely. It's true even when your family is just two people and two cats.

    I'd thought I'd responded to your last post, sympathizing with your comment about black flies. We had many many a day ruined by those in the North woods, sometimes actually because of arguments between my parents who felt differently about letting us be among them on the worst days. I think as an adult, hopefully soon having to make decisions like these, I see her side better now.

    I have the best memories of camp, and like Mr. Cotta, I even think fondly of the short, cold showers. Not the nasty toilets, though. In those days especially when we lacked hand sanitizer. Ugh.

  3. Glad things worked out without blood shed. That's a win in my book.

  4. Hope I can follow in your footsteps and make some progress...soon!

  5. I'm glad that progress has been made.

  6. I think that everyone could use a little marriage counseling. Even when people haven't had a ton of terrible stuff happen to them...marriage is hard. So, throwing in a crap load of tragedy/grief just makes things all the harder.

    Love is so not enough to get through the tough my case I think it's come down to stubbornness! I'm glad you won most of your points...sounds like you might have the stubborn gene too (a compliment, by the way).

  7. So glad the camp issue is worked out (although it sounds like most of the compramise was done by the camp!). I am not surprised that they have had to adapt, parents do not have the same values and beliefs as they did 30 years ago.

  8. I'm exhausted just reading about this camp stuff. I can't imaging how it's exhausting you.

    I'm so glad that some of it is going your way.

  9. You took it right Aurelia. He is one lucky man! He sounds so Irish lol. Stubborn, yet passionate and somewhat, if not, controlling - but always with a story.

    This camping extravaganza will definitely be one for the memory banks when the kids are older!

  10. Sounds like things are moving in the right directions.

    And I sincerely hope there's no-one out there who can identify with the wow, that could never happen to us, we LOVE each other response. 'Cause with that attitude, they are so looking to get slapped around by the universe. Life, even in its relatively minor details, is really, really difficult.

  11. Oh, and I thought of you when I came across this site selling black fly roast coffee -- for the buzz that just won't go away.