Friday, March 28, 2008

As a Bag of flour

Have you read the blog Stuff White People Like? Found it a while back, peeing myself laughing...funniest part is in the comments when the white supremicists visit, and don't get the satire. AT ALL.

Plus now I'm convinced that never mind that I am as white as a bag of flour, white like snow, hell white like boxed mashed potatoes, I may be faking it after all because I don't like the outdoors, summer camp, Juno, or Arts degrees. I do like renovations though...hmmm.

So I thought I'd do a tribute post, cause after all, one white guy can't do it all, can he? I think some of us need to pitch in and help. White People like tributes & memes don't they?

My Stuff that White People like is Earth Hour, where we turn out our lights for one hour on Saturday from 8-9 pm. It has completely jumped the shark at this point, and has a devoted following of white people by now. I mean, think about it, what guy in a poor neighbourhood or the ghetto is going to turn out the lights? It's an invitation to getting robbed.

The other thing white people like? Symbolic gestures, especially meaningless ones. Turning off your light bulbs for an hour isn't going to do shit for the environment. But it will make the white person feel good. And isn't that what counts?

Not driving a car for a half a day---now that will do something. But white people won't do that. That will take effort. Symbolic gestures give the white person a feeling of community, a feeling of being part of the crowd. And helping the environment with a symbolic gesture is even more meaningful, since actually helping the environment, would cause them to have to do something that might really effect their lifestyle.

It's like using those reusable cloth bags? The ones that we are all supposed to use to help the environment instead of plastic bags? More Stuff White People Like. Yeah, the big guilt trip that does absolutely nothing to help the environment since all the plastic bags used by an average family in a year will save approximately one ounce of crude oil, and all the plastic bags ever made take up less than 1% of the space in landfill. Again, actually not using their car for half a day would save gallons of gas.

But white people don't want to actually do anything, they like symbolic gestures better. Especially meaningless ones, no matter how small.....

I feel so pasty now, chuckle.


  1. Agreed, there are some gestures that seem so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but maybe all the little ones add up. I use cloth bags when I can (we need some plastic now and then). I am planning to participate in Earth Hour (hubby and I have the best plans! *wink wink, nudge nudge*) AND there have been entire weekends when we don't use the car, opting instead to stick near home and run errands on the way to/from work instead. Saves time and gas that way. Now if only public transit offered transportation to my workplace... that'd be sweet too.

    BTW, as for a Canadian Blogger get together in Toronto, how does the weekend of April 19 strike you? Available? See my blog and let me know!

  2. yeah I feel guilty even trying to assuage my guilt over my wasteful life style but hey, my SUV got rated #1 least polluting luxury vehicle
    oh I can sleep so much better now knowing what a difference I am making.

  3. OMG, this is too funny! I read it as soon as I got over being blinded by the whiteness of your belly shot ;-)thanks for sharing!

  4. I've been reading the stuff white people like for sometime now and always enjoy it without bothering to read comments.

  5. Or they could vote for representatives who will pass meaningful legislation.

  6. LOL, indeed.

    I have six of those retro string bags... And I keep meaning to take them grocery shopping with me... Really... Any day now...

    At least I drive a Mini, right?

  7. At 8 PM last night I was checking my email, then I went & took a NICE LONG HOT SHOWER to wash the sawdust outta my hair...
    Yeah, meaningless gestures piss me off, on both the large and small scales!

  8. The trouble with plastic bags isn't so much the space in the landfills but what happens if they are not disposed of properly. If they end up in the oceans, they are bad-bad news. In multiple ways.

    Other than that-- most excellent rant.