I should be doing something else right now

Like repackaging meat we just bought at Costco or tidying up things around the house for the dinner party tonight, or putting away clothes.

I just really don't have the energy for it, you know?

I was supposed to buy a new set of appliances for the kitchen and a vacuum and washing machine dryer set....all things we need, (our current fridge is over 25 years old....half-dead) and really simple when someone else delivers them, but I barely have any energy to get to a store and figure out how to buy them. And I'm sure if I'm spending that much money the salesman will gladly wheel me around and carry me back to my car, but just putting on my boots is hard right now.

I mustered up some to take the Boys shopping for their Dad's birthday, and we got him a nice spring/fall jacket, a classic one he has wanted for years but wouldn't buy himself, and although he loves it he is horrified by the price and insists I return it. (This meanwhile from a man who never buys himself anything nice or new, always on a discount, and we can afford something nice finally.) I swear, he is the living embodiment of Catholic self-flagellation....hair shirts are his specialty. He wants the kids to have the best possible education and opportunities, but thinks he should wear clothes with holes.....and I won't return it dammit! He deserves something nice.

Besides, that would require going all the way back to the store.....just thinking about it is tiring me.

I found a couple of bites on my body, or else they are teeny tiny hives, or else they are mysterious signs of morgellons....I think I'd rather have that than bedbugs....and after all the hotel travel my husband has done in the last month or so, I'm terrified the little bastards have made it into our home. The organizer is coming tomorrow and maybe we'll get somewhere with our room and the rest of the boys' rooms. I need to chuck a serious amount of stuff before we can do any painting or move in any new furniture. No room for a repair guy or a painter to even walk in the rooms right now.

Maybe she can help me figure out if we have bedbugs or I'm just paranoid and have developed pimples in odd places, in which case I guess I'm back to my shrink. At minimum she's going to declutter our bedroom so the disgusting things can't hide from the new dyson I want to buy. Yeah, if I ever get to the damn store.....

*Updated* this post got interupted so I'm just finishing it late - Dinner party was a disaster, remind me to go out for dinner to restaurants from now until the baby is a year old. Fuck hosting. Thank God it was only family, they don't give a toss if the sauce curdled and the veggies were rock hard. Right?*

Yawn....never been this run down during a pregnancy before....ever. Growing this baby is sucking every ounce of energy right out of me. Nighty-night.