Maybe this is why I'm so tired

I have been weirdly exhausted, more so than normal pregnancy, and yet I've had insomnia. I'm so tired I could cry, but when I try to sleep I can't. My mind races, my heart beats loudly, I toss and turn. I have a very comfortable bed, I have my snoogle, the room is the right temperature....and yet, yesterday morning I woke up at 4 a.m. totally unable to sleep. I came downstairs, ate my first breakfast of the day, and surfed a bit while I tried to figure out what was going on.

And then it hit me like a smack upside the forehead----my thyroid is out of whack again!

I was hyperthyroid for a while in 2006, and then normal, and then it kept showing normal while my RAIU scans were bizarrely abnormal. They just kept telling me that it was going to be this way for awhile, swinging back and forth for years until my thyroid was hyper all the time and then they'd ablate it, meanwhile I'm just supposed to suffer in agony....fucking boneheads.

I never accepted this, partially because it puts any pregnancy I achieve in danger, but also because being hyperthyroid for any period of time puts my organs and bones in danger. The thyroid gland is no longer useful if it starts to go hyper, it can even become cancerous from all the cell growth, not to mention the oh-so-attractive neck goiter, so it's smarter to just ablate it, one radioactive pill and I'm done, and then just take thyroid medication to treat becoming hypothyroid. Again, one little itty-bitty pill every morning, and I'm right as rain. Very simple, but none of the endocrinologists I've spoken to will write the order.....they are all quite desperate for me to keep being sick. Guess they bill more that way, stupid fuckers!

My OB is off for March Break and he has someone subbing in for him, but I didn't feel like explaining the whole rigamarole to a new guy so yesterday morning I called up my GP, Dr.J. and got an appointment. She and I have this great relationship, where we finish each other's sentences....and as soon as I told her I had insomnia and was waking up early, but I was tired---she said "And you're wondering if it's your thyroid?" And I laughed because she knew exactly! I went for a blood test, results maybe back today late afternoon, maybe tomorrow morning.

This also explains my altered gestational diabetes test incidentally. I go for the retest Thursday and we'll see if it comes up abnormal again. If my thyroid is off, it messes up my blood sugar. If my thyroid isn't off, and it all shows up normal again, and my GTT is still abnormal then I don't know what the heck to do.

Good news is, I have a new fridge coming, and a new washer and dryer, and even a new Dyson animal vacuum cleaner!!! Weeeeeeeeeee!!!! Yep, I finally mustered up the courage to do it! They come Friday.

Off to take another nap. If I can't sleep, maybe I can rest a bit before the kids get home from hockey camp. Yawn.....