Sunday, March 30, 2008

Attempting calm

In the last 24 hours, I have realized that I can't get myself worked up anymore over my usual rants.

I need to try for calmness, low blood pressure and a sense of zen, if that's even possible. Last night my neck went into spasm sometime in the morning right around my 10th very vivid incredibly lifelike dream. It was so real that I was totally convinced it had happened even though it was insanely far-fetched. I woke up thrashing to discover that my husband had simply left the bedroom because I was making so much noise, snoring, sniffling, flipping over in bed and talking in my sleep that he was wide awake.

Yeah, I'm a joy to sleep with in the last few months of pregnancy!

Anyway, neck spasms are not good. They are a sign of severe stress in my body, and they hurt like hell. Off to the chiropractor for me. I think they were caused by a couple of things as well. I'm worried about some things around the house organization & money-wise. We need to buy some baby furniture and the painting guys are coming in, and there is a lot going on, but I really feel to tired to do much. Meanwhile, time is ticking.

I have one baby outfit, 2 diapers, and not much else clean and ready. Everything else is in storage, or filthy, or needs to be replaced because it's under old safety standards. I need to get the old stuff out and figure out if it's usable. Anyone want to go shopping? I may finally have the guts to buy something. Or at least order it for pickup in 8 weeks.

Other little oddities? Turns out my posts on Earth Hour attracted some attention from some right-wing blogger, who knows nothing about me and laughed at a phrase I used. Normally I'd jump into the fray and make it clear that between my own business and political connections and my husbands, I do know what's what and then I'd tear them a new one, but then----I realized I have more important things to do right now, like grow a baby.

I have to keep my blood pressure down, so I'm just going to ignore them, not comment there, or link back and just relax. I really do need to let go of some stuff.

Damn hard, but in the interests of what really matters, I may need to force myself to stop being cynical and getting worked up over things I can't solve.

OB appointment tomorrow, and an ultrasound for placenta and growth checks. I'll let you all know what happens!


  1. I will definitely shop for baby stuff with you! And Kali would be delighted to test out any gear that dinkypie may be considering.

  2. Good luck with the u/s. A great place to shop for deals in the TO area is the POMBA sales. The TPOMBA sale is the end of April. The MPOMBA sale is this Saturday. I'm all about the bargains! ;)

  3. Oh I totally get the part about not jumping in the ring when you have more important wars to wage. I'm a mouthy, outspoken, stand-up-for-myself kind of gal but in the past month or so I've had to let a few things go for the greater good of my situation. (My "other" blog has suffered greatly due to this)

    But if I ever have to deal with a big, ugly, condesending asshole working at a tire shop who treats me like some chick who doesn't know what she's talking about when buying two new tires, I will rip HIM a new one.

    Breath in. Breath out. Zen.

  4. Good luck with your appointment! And good luck achieving zen - if you figure out how, clue me in!

  5. Sending calm, calm, calm--and a good OB appt. tomorrow.

  6. I always get upset when I lose things, even very cheap things. The result of a traumatic loss of a bag on a train.

    Back in the dark days of infertility, Depeche Mode was a good companion. Or Live, though they are a bit bombastic at times.
    I know more of Morrissey than I know the music. When I was a young and still went to parties, now and again the DJ would play some Morrissey, probably when he felt melancholic.

  7. Hmmmm, sending the calm. I think the fatigue is normal, was for me anyhow.

    I would say that you are focusing on too many things at a time (they all need done, but you are overwhelming yourself). Narrow your focus and do and worry about one thing at a time.

    GOod luck with the appointment. I"ll be praying.

  8. I had a vivid dream last night that I was chopping broccoli. Even my dreams are boring. *sigh*