Monday, March 03, 2008

got my wish

Got my wish from the previous know how I mentioned that my heartburn was bad. Well, it's accelerated. A lot.

I've been having trouble lying down flat recently since it means that I will get heartburn/acid reflux/burning screaming pain, yadda yadda....I had it with Kaz, and Mac near the end of my pregnancy, maybe in the 8th-9th month. Mostly because I'm tiny and I have big babies who like to kick the tar out of their mom's stomach.

Kicking is good for Dinkypie, kicking me so forcefully that last night I vomited in my sleep with gale force action---not so good. Overkill one might say. I know you are still in utero little guy, but do you think you could learn some subtlety? Gentle grace towards your mother? Sigh....

I barely made it to the bathroom in time, okay technically it was a wastebasket, but still. No carpets were damaged in the bizarre portrayal of a naked pregnant woman suddenly bolting upright out of her sleep and running for her life.

And yeah, I'm six and half months pregnant now, a fact I have to remind everyone of when they ask, "So when IS that baby due?" and the other great one, "Are you sure there's only one in there?" or the best...."Wow, you're going to be as wide as you are tall!"

Yah...the next time that gets said, I swear I'm going to cut his nuts off in his sleep. Not that any of you can guess WHO keeps saying that....

So far, it seems to be all boobs and stomach, and just a little padding everywhere else, but that will change. And just like before, I'll be skinny again afterwards, give it 6 months to a year of breastfeeding aka liposuction and I'll lose it.

I know I'm going to be larger than I was with the last baby I went full term on, and I know it's inevitable that this would happen. Hell, I know that right now, in a crowd, I look like the prow of a cruise ship cutting through the waves. At this point, my uterus enters the room a full five minutes before I do. My OB sent me for my gestational diabetes test weeks earlier than normal because he was so shocked at my size. Tomorrow my GP who is discreet and kind beyond measure will see me to give me a steroid shot and she will be unable to hide the look on her face. I'm twice as large as my kid's piano teacher, who is 3 weeks from her due date, a fact that she keeps pointing out.



Oh and for those of you who think that I'm complaining about the size I have become, I'm not. I'm complaining about the people who say things about my size. Getting a ginormous tummy in pregnancy is normal and hopefully means I'm growing a nice healthy full-size baby. I'm calling the Doc and getting some Zantac or Prilosec or whatever, and if I have to sleep bolt upright for the next three months, then I guess I will. Not fun, but less painful than lying down. I've tried Tums and Gaviscon and low acid food and none of it did much, so it's time to haul out the big guns and get a proton pump inhibitor.

And maybe some duct tape for a few smart alecks in the crowd?


  1. I never minded being told I was big, because like you I took my bigness as a sign that I was growing a big healthy baby, but where are these people from that they think it's OK to point it out? Because most women? No so thrilled to be informed of their hugeness. You got lucky when you picked me to tell, buddy. Count your blessing, and in the future shut up.

    Besides, I'm sure you just look appropriately rounded and madonna-riffic.

    Slim (hey, there's a great internet handle for this topic, eh?)

  2. I got a lot of those comments too. I was like, "hello? have you ever seen a pregnant woman before? there's a whole human being camped out in my abdomen!"

    Ugh, some people just can't help stating the obvious.

  3. Just a quick idea re the reflux - I had it really badly during the last few months of my pregnancy and through the first year of the little one's life...
    Try eating some fresh pineapple (and drink the juice as well if you are buying it precut) just before bed and when you wake up in the morning, have an apple on an empty stomach. I did this for a week and was able to go off all medication.
    I've been reading for a while but have never commented. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your candid discussion of mental illness and the medical profession. Thanks.

  4. When I was pregnant I remember thinking that tums were my friends. I got the long acting ones. I couldn't get my doc to approve a anti-acid drug though. Good thing they are over the counter meds here.

  5. Oh dear. If you need more duct tape, I'll be happy to send some. What are people thinking? Have they not learned to tell a pregnant woman (whether or not it's true) that she looks radiant?

    Though, per Slim, I also like "Madona-riffic."

  6. thumb to the center of the throat while saying 'what did you say?' works well :)

  7. Sorry to laugh at your pain. Hope you get some serious antacids on board asap.

    I have no idea why people like to tell pregnant women they are huge. Yeah as if you want to be small or can be with a whole person living inside you.

    You didn't look big at all to me fwiw.

  8. So stupid, just stupid!

    BIG hugs and xxxx from me, thinking of you!

  9. I am a mere 5' 1" tall and so my pregnant belly always appeared disproportionately large compared to my height. I got the "wow, are you big" with all of my pregnancies. I can only imagine how bad it would have gotten if I had carried the twins near term!

    Of course I am very sensitive to the "are you sure there isn't more than one in there?!?" comment- for obvious reasons. Someone unwittingly said that to me when I was pregnant with Pumpkin and all I could manage was to quietly mumble, "I am quite sure there is only one in there. I know the difference."

    I am praying for a time machine to drop on your front lawn so you can zip from here to your due date in an instant!!

  10. Oh, my on the vomiting in your sleep!!! May he give you a major break!

    Don't worry about what others say about "how you look." People are not use those words in print. ;)

  11. People will pretty much say anything that comes into their so-called minds, no matter how stupid. When I was pregnant, people kept telling me how small I looked. Which was true, but something I really didn't want to hear.

  12. The duct tape is likely to be the most satisfying part of this plan.

    I hope the proton pump inhibitors do their job and you get some sleep.

  13. I know how you feel about the big comments. I was huge with all my babies and somebody always had to say something. I don't get why people just can't keep their mouths shut.

  14. There is only one acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman in my view: you look gorgeous.
    I'm so sorry about the heartburn – and I'm suffering along with you at only 17 weeks which seems bizarre.
    Feel better, Aurelia.

  15. Funny, I got the reverse: You're so small. You're PREGNANT? WHERE? You're due WHEN? Are you sure they got the dates right? Which of course sent me into a tizzy, following all the measurements during u/s's, making sure everything really was as expected.

    I quit drinking liquid when I ate, and that seemed to help with gas and such a lot. Something about intaking less air with food or something stupid. Hang in there.

  16. If IF has taught me anything (no, really it's taught me alot) it is to THINK before I SAY anything. I wish more people would have the same restraint.