Sunday, March 23, 2008

To good egg days

*Belly picture at the bottom--warning to those of you feeling sensitive--read my words and skip the pic if you can't take seeing it. Love to you anyway*

I feel so lucky this Easter, yes even when I am momentarily gripped with terror---I know how incredibly lucky I am to have ever been able to have my living children, and to be pregnant again now.

I often worry that when I comment on the blogs of women who are still in the struggle that they will take offense at my presence, that they will feel angry that a woman who has what they want should dare to tell them to hope.

I hope and pray that instead they will read my blog and know that when a Doctor tells them that nothing will ever work, that they will never get pregnant with their own eggs, that they will never have a living child---the Doctor might just be wrong. Technology can change, new drugs can be invented, new research can prove that it isn't always their bodies' fault, a diagnosis and a new treatment is possible. Even the best Doctors can be wrong.

There is always hope.

The baby I am carrying is living proof that sometimes a good egg can still be found, and drugs like heparin and progesterone can keep us pregnant, and I pray that my pregnancy inspires the people who read me to find a second opinion, to question the Doctors, to know that they and they alone should be the ones to make choices about their bodies and keep trying if they really want to. No doctor has the right to destroy our hope and take our dreams.

And if, after every attempt, after every option is explored, an individual couple makes the choice that they will never raise living children, then I want them to know that it is possible to go on, to live life with joy and happiness and peace. Loribeth and Pamela Jeanne are living proof of that. Women like them kept me sane during the lowest periods, when I was sure that I was never going to find a good egg.

To those of you who have been told to give up? That what you want is an impossible dream? Witness the proof. Feel free to send this to your gutless soul-crushing REs, the ones who want nothing more than to suck the joy from the very marrow of your bones....add your own subtitles, just for fun.

The 7 1/2 month pregnant belly of a recurrent miscarrier.

The soon to be born genetic child of a woman with premature ovarian failure.

The pregnant belly of woman who sincerely believes that Doctors aren't Gods.

So here I am in all my glory, a far shot, then a close up:


  1. Great pics! I'm sure you're an inspiration for many :-) Ironically, on the way to the delivery room, I passed by the office of the professor who told me 17 years ago that there was a less-than-10-percent chance that I would ever have a baby... At the time, what he said made sense, but ART improved so dramatically that less than 3 years later I was already a mom.

  2. thank you so much for your wise words. i've decided that i'm going to be hopeful, regardless of what science can (and apparently cannot) explain.

    happy easter to you and your clan!

    and hopefully one day, i will be posting my own belly pic. :)

  3. You look great Aurelia!

    I just don't know HOW I'm going to fit my 2 good eggs in my belly. But I'm planning on keeping them in there.

    Happy Spring!

  4. You are absolutely beautiful.

    And what a great post. You are right, of course, and it's so nice to read words of encouragement.

    I hope someday we have the opportunity to meet in person. I would really like to shake your hand.

  5. Dahling, you look mahvellous!! ; ) Thanks for the shoutout! -- you too are an inspiration.

  6. Meh, still not one for the hope, sorry. My cynicism run amok. You however? Look great and I urge you to keep it up, luck or no. I keep you around for the political humor anyway. /wink

  7. And that is why I will fight to be on heparin and the full complement of drugs with my next pregnancy.

  8. WoooHoo you look great!
    Those subtitles are great.

    Kind of related -
    Did you see the globe article about how diet including folic acid in MEN decreased birth defects by 20-30%. It makes me sad when women are told so often, or feel their body failed when the boyz should be equally suspect.

  9. Quite frankly, BEAUTIFUL!

    And check out that flat arse too ;)


  10. I wish I could believe like you do, Aurelia.

    But I'm still glad for you, and that everything is working out well.


  11. Beautiful just beautiful that is all I can say!!

  12. Here's to improvements in technology, too, not just so they can treat but so they can accurately diagnose. Belly looking good there!


  13. You really are an inspiration for someone in my shoes. And those belly pix? AWESOME!

  14. I am so happy for you! Thank you for your inspiring post! :)

  15. Hope doesn't suit everyone. But it sure looks good on you.

  16. Holy moly. I do believe you're pregnant!

  17. Beautiful belly! And great post.

  18. You are still a skinny bitch, despite the large, round belly. :)

  19. Awesome! I'm sad this was so slow to appear in my reader. You look great and I am for sure hopeful. Yay!

  20. You look fabulous - and I hear you on the scale comment above, i have the same body issues and have had a tough time adjusting to this weight gain. You look great though - you're all BABY!

  21. that is one gorgeous belly! :)