Tuesday, May 20, 2008

still here--still closed tight as a drum

Sweeties, would you understand if I said that it is terribly ironic that my damn cervix is still closed up and long, and last pregnancy this far along, with Mac, I was going through PTL at 32 weeks, and 2 cm dilated and thinned and completely ready to go by 37-38 weeks?

All I know is that the next Doctor who tells me that progesterone suppositories don't keep cervixes closed is getting a big fat punch in the face. I know, it's not always perfect, hell, no drug therapy is. Even tylenol doesn't relieve every headache, and even the hottest best chemo doesn't clear every cancer.

But this stuff is pretty damned effective and if you'd like to look up my cooter, I have some gold standard proof....just sayin'.

So now what the hell do I do? Mr.Cotta is reluctant to do too much natural induction because he's afraid I'll get heartburn again and he'll have to call the ambulance again. Meanwhile, I'm like dude, there is no link between the two events. He's not that prolific, for god's sake!

I wonder if sex toys will do the job...I'm lying down a lot at this point anyway, and most of the TV season finales have finished showing....

My blood pressure is fine, just like last weeks' level, and my hands are less swelled up than they were, so my OB is not worried about my feet. I had my usual tiny trace amount of protein in my urine, and otherwise looked good.

Oh and did I mention that the baby is over 8 pounds, give or take a pound? And that if I get induced on Sunday, the baby will have grown even more? (Technically we go in for a gel on Saturday night, and show up the next day for water breaking, etc.)

And did I mention that epidurals have to be turned down a touch, sometimes a lot, so that the mom can push effectively, and that I am really really scared by the size of this baby?

And that my other big fear is that now that we are so close to success----something bad will happen and this baby will be taken away from me, and I don't think I've ever ever been this stressed in anticipation of success or disaster in my whole freaking life?

Yeah, this all is killing me....


  1. Glad to hear that all is well, other than the completely understandably anxiety. Very best wishes for a safe and satisfying birth.

  2. peace and prayers, that is all I can offer.

  3. I know that if and when I am blessed to get to where you are and I to am all closed up...all natural means necessary I will take...accupuncture, lots of sex! hiking...anything!

  4. It is Mr Cotta's DUTY to evict that boy from his cosy home and rib breaking ways.

    Punch anyone you want. No jury would convict you.

  5. Okay, eight pounds...that scares me. Why couldn't we be made of elastic?

  6. Thinking of you in the last days of this pregnancy.

  7. I don't think sex works at all, but the claim is that its the prostaglandins, so you'd need Mr. Cotta for that...

    I was also terrified at the end, particularly that something would go wrong before I got to the hospital. (I knew I'd feel safe once I got there.) So... I think it's totally normal.

    I pushed just fine with an epidural, even though I didn't feel anything. It's just a matter of knowing how to push. The midwife literally had to tell me when I was having a contraction - Nomi was born within 2 pushes (and she weighed just over 8 lbs).

    Are you talking about next week? Wow!

  8. WOW, almost there! where the hell did the time go?

    So excited but know how your feeling only too well...


  9. I've had both experiences with the epidural-with #1 I couldn't feel a damn thing (including my legs) and since this was baby #1, I had no clue as to how to push. With baby #2, the epidural was perfect-no pain, but I could feel the sensation of pressure (it's very hard to explain), and was able to push very effectively. #2 was up very high, and it still only took four pushes and about five minutes. She was 8lbs, 12 oz. I had a smallish cut, but otherwise, no issues. All this is is my long-winded attempt to tell you that you can do it, even with a larger baby.

  10. Not long now! Very excited for you!

    (also remember u/s weight measurements at this stage can be very far off)

  11. Mr. Cotta won't help?!..snooze ya looze.
    Go ahead and have as many O's on your own to see if you can trigger the ute into contracting.
    Heck...I ain't human without an O a day ;)
    p.s. epidurals are for wimps....all you need is gas.

    I coached my girlfriend on opening her cervix with her mind. Visualization exercises worked for her.
    Mind you....sometimes you can try as hard as you like....but they come when they are 'ready' to come.

    None of the above may be helpful in the least but all that being said dear,....best of luck to you in the next weeks.

  12. I can't believe you are so close!

    I can imagine the stress of the fear is not helping. I hope you are able to find some peace in the next couple of days...

    About the baby's size- my guy measured 8lb 8oz at 40 weeks, and 8lb 7oz at 41 weeks (yes you read that right!), and was born at 7lb 7oz. The measurements at this point are almost always off. So try not to let the size consume you. (And it's not really the baby's entire weight that is the issue, it's more the head and shoulder size that you have to worry about pushing out, no? What if he's a super skinny looooong babe- then you're in luck!)

    And... as the previous poster said- you may want to try visualization exercizes. They can work (and did for me in the later part of my labour.) If you have nothing else to do (ha!) it can't hurt to try.

    Wishing you all the best!! (And also here to say thanks for your comments on my last couple of posts. Your experience is valuable!)

  13. Ace was 8lbs13oz and he came out. Well, I needed a vacuum assist, but it was my first birth.

    I thinks you'll do it!

  14. I plan on bugging my husband very soon for some help getting me going. Hope Mr. Cotta gets convinced as well.

  15. Just catching up but wanted to say that I used my vibrator a lot during those last weeks because orgasms were supposed to release oxytocin and sex was just so difficult with the big body, but all those orgasms did nothing as far as I know to open my cervix. I remained at 1 cm, 50% effaced for 2 weeks until I had my membranes swept. Twice.