Feet in my mouth

Feeling really down here....I really really screwed up in the last day or so, between being excessively late for various appointments, to commenting and emailing things that are the exact wrong thing to say to various people. My house looks like a disaster according to my husband, and he cannot understand why I can't keep it perfect. Meanwhile, things have disappeared all over the house? Half of Mac's clothes are missing? Both kid's are missing their asthma meds? Can't find them anywhere....

I am off my ADD meds, mostly because of my BP, and I am a total fuck-up as a result. Which has left me in tears and beating myself up.

Plus, Mr.Cotta's family is fighting over P. and what he wants to do now. P. is in a stage of anger and resentment at my husband and the rest of the family are choosing up sides, conveniently forgetting the thousands of dollars we spent on his care and support, and conveniently forgetting how close he came to death and that the only thing the Belgium government was going to do was put him in a hospital then jail. He has enormous legal problems if he goes back there, and can't afford lawyers, never mind supporting himself, so the joke is, how does he even afford a plane ticket? Oh geez, maybe the money we loaned him for his apartment? Sigh....He won't be allowed to see his ex-wife and kids due to the multiple restraining orders against him.....so what the hell is the point of going back?

He's conquered the depression, but he's still an asshole I guess, and instead of trying to put his life back together, get a job, get healthy, and make peace with his ex---he thinks email threats and legal fights are the way to go. And it's killing my husband because he knows that the only people who ever win in family law and divorce court are the lawyers. Literally, it is better to burn your money than spend it on a divorce lawyer because at least you'd be warm if you burned it.

So half the family is blaming my husband, when all he did was decline to unplug the life support machine and try to give the guy a chance. The other half just keeps tut-tutting and telling him they told him so---very helpful---not.

Does anyone think we needed this right now at a time when we are about to deliver a baby? Hopefully a live baby? Nice way to support us, eh?

Plus his business partner was just diagnosed with MALT Lymphoma, and we have no idea how that will work out. I'm just praying the guy is okay. He's pretty shocked right now and can't figure out what to do. The doctors have offered up various treatment plans, etc...but he can't decide which one is best.

As for me, I have a serious pain in my side, just around my left lung that will not leave even if the baby shifts. It's not gas, not intestinal, just very sharp pain. And that UTI? Is killing me because it is Group B Strep and I think it went up to my kidneys by the time I got the right antibiotics. I'm in so much pain I can barely see straight.

So as you can see--life sucks right now. I'm going to get a shower and see if that helps. Then maybe call my doctor.

Thank you for listening to my miserable whine....no I don't need any cheese with that. But a pat on the back would be okay?